Guys, why do you say you'd date us, then lose interest immediately?

[Anonymous]

I know that girls are like this too, but I'm finding that a lot of males like playing this bizarre game with me. I get told I'm very pretty often, good personality and such. I'm not desperate, I approach men, act interested, ask THEM to hang out.

It turns into "great, let's do it." Then they blow me off and never to be heard from again. But over and over, male friends and strangers, " Oh, Amanda, you're fantastic, I'd date you." I follow up, if I'm interested, and suddenly they get a girlfriend or are too busy. Unfortunately, I've never scored a real date with a guy. I guess I'm frustrated because I feel people look at me like I have two heads all the time.

[superdudeman]

I like it when women say that people say they are pretty. As if guys walk up to fat girls and say "your gross... lose some weight you ugly cow."

And then its even better when they say their friends say that they are hot.

Whats next, your going to tell me that your mother says that your pretty?

Post a picture and ill tell you if your pretty. And I won't lie or hold anything back. In fact even if your hot ill tell you what you can do to make yourself hotter.

If people are looking at you like you ahve two heads, then I'm thinking.. maybe your not hot.

Its not all about looks, either. It's about the interaction with the man during the date. If your boring, if he thinks your not sexually compatible, then he's going to dump you.

Or if you are hot, and he thinks that he's not going to get anywhere sexually, he's going to dump you.

You can have the best personality in the world, but if you don't know how to display that or get that across to the men you don't know, it really doesn't matter.

So your firends might think you have a good personality, but its only because they know you, and have been around you long enough for you to jump out of your shell. I guarntee you there is something that you are doing, or not doing that is putting them off.

Either that, or your ugly.

[Gregs]

That's strange, well first Id ask for you to post a picture. Apart from that if you really do have a good personality and don't play games with guys I don't see why you can't get a date, very strange.

[Anonymous]

you are too forward with guys.

it's a dichotomy. guys SAY they like it when women take charge and approach them and make the first move, but guess what...it puts you in a certain category. deep down men are men and they still are hunters and they like to be the one to go after a woman. when you turn the tables around and pursue him it just is kinda off and you don't get the kind of relationships you want. if you play it cool and let him come to you then the dynamics are different. guys will be flattered by the attention but if you are looking for him to take you seriously and value you, you're going about it wrong.

whether or not you say you're desperate...there is a difference between the girl that approaches guys and asks him out, and the girl that gets approached and gets asked out

[Meedo]

She is right. Forget about the answers about your looks. Think about the forbidden fruit. If it wasn't that forbidden and was abundant .. it wouldn't have been desired that much .

There is a differece between bieng approachable and bieng too forward. Be approachable but don't initiate the first move with a man. If you are too stuck up you will be a turn off or high aintenance. But if you make the first move.. all sorts of weird ideas come to men .. they also take you forgranted.