Why do guys ask if you’re single and then right away seem to assume you should wanna date them?

[Seemepjorn]

It’s funny cause language reveals so much. Men ask me if I’m single and then the next sentence is “can I get your number?” Or something that shows me they think that because I’m single I have to and am obligated to entertain or give my number to them. Lmfao. if you were genuine you’d ask me if I would like to give you my number or date you

They assume cause a woman is single she owes them what they want. Fucking perverts.

[Summeroflove]

Okay asking someone on a date isn’t automatically perverted so get your head out of the gutter, it depends on what their intentions are behind asking you on a date.

I don’t understand this either though you’re right just being single doesn’t entitle you to a date, if they wanted to make a genuine connection with a woman they should be trying to find someone whose genuinely attracted to him. Not everyone’s going to be into you, and I don’t care if you’re a perfect ten out of ten. Everyone is different it’s the same as if a woman he wasn’t attracted to felt entitled to his time…. he wouldn’t like it.

At the end of the day it seems you have a problem with men in general and are just waiting on a guy. What you should learn by 33 and I don’t say this to be hateful is….. Most dudes who are going to be persistent are going to be the men you DO NOT want.

If you like a guy you are as obligated as he is to be direct and show interest because you’re also not entitled for a man to approach you and take you out. I’m not saying you feel that way because maybe you don’t, but there are some people who are. They feel angry when someone else feels entitled to them, but also feel entitled to somebody. Many times they end up very disappointed.

[jahaims]

When you are so stupid you don't know you are stupid.

[V_Injector]

The Dunning-Kruger effect 😂 🤣

[HollyK21]

“Men ask me if I’m single and then the next sentence is ‘can I get your number?’”
“if you were genuine you’d ask me if I would like to give you my number”


What is the problem here? Isn’t that quite literally being asked for your number? On top of that I’m not sure how you’d want a guy to go about it. Asking if you were single first before asking for your number which I think is respectful.

[dudegreat91]

I think what she means is these guys just assume that she finds them attractive if she's single

[dudegreat91]

*that these

[HollyK21]

@dudegreat91 I’m mainly addressing the fact that she’s saying a genuine guy would ask for her number, yet was asked for her number. How does that make sense?

[HollyK21]

Does him confirming whether or not she’s single before asking for her number make him disingenuous? That’s how this post sounds.

[SugarSugarplum]

Because imagine this:
"Hey are you single?"
"Yes."
"Oh. well, um... do you think that... maybe... if you don't mind... maybe you'd..."

That's what is sounds like when a man *doesn't* hard sell dating him.

[V_Injector]

I'm a huge critic of the in-your-face cold approach pushy type guys. It works though and I will give them that, but I find it cringe inducing because sometimes the poor girl is just trying to get home or get to another task and now she's running through all the usual retorts a woman has on hand just to get the guy to fuck off.

... basically just hounding her and wasting her time with him just ready to flip into a fucking hissy fit if she answers the wrong way to one of his many, many probing questions that you can tell she doesn't even want to be answering.

But like I said, it does work and it becomes a numbers game. Works great on chicks that are drunk. I consider it a basic car salesman tactic for some kind of PUA (Pick Up Artist) type of guy that's so desperate for pussy that I classify them in the same category as those orbiter guys... you know, those guys that pretend to be her friend and hovers around her constantly in hopes that he'll finally get the chance to fuck.

Basically, a "nice guy syndrome" suffering SIMP that is really desperate for pussy have a lot in common with the PUA types... They're both absolutely desperate for pussy and cringe-inducing.

I prefer a more organic method that gives the woman a real easy out. I think SHE should show at least some effort to get with me, or else I'm going to assume that 1) She just isn't motivated to get with me, or 2) She has no real interest in me. I mean if I don't see her chasing me back then I'm not going to waste my time on all that. Sure... sure, I could probably talk her into some sexy time, but I don't want to be with chicks that are only with me because I manipulated and coerced them into hanging out and then some more. Is it just me that I sort of view that as... as... sort of rapey.

So I'll put it out there like "I wouldn't mind hanging out with you sometime," and if she doesn't suggest anything then I'm already done. Not my problem... I'm not saying I'll turn into a dick, but I'm not going to chase someone. I seem to have better relationships with women who chase me back anyway. Yeah, I've been successful doing the chase thing myself, but they don't feel as interested in me, and it has led to some real cringe-inducing situations... like getting ghosted because she just cheated on some other guy and didn't tell me about him. A lot of really short lived relationships that didn't mean anything results from it.

I guess I should say, when you're looking for more than just more pussy, the same kind of drive to get in any woman's panties just isn't there. It's a whole lot more easy to let her slip away and go find what she really wants... because it's not me. I need to at least be met half way when it comes to the chase stuff. ... and on a side note...

I bang hookers when I'm just horny. All the women I meet organically are around for at least a few years, and a lot of them at the same time. (insert the "they'd rather share a ____ than have a ____ to themselves" rule) Not wasting my time on someone who might not even be interested in me clears up more time to deal with the chicks who seem obsessed with me.

Picture time...

[V_Injector]

Sorry about the long ass wall of text... it's a subject I've spent time thinking about. I used to hang out in bars getting work done and I'd observe this shit on the side going on around me a lot. Then I sold drugs in clubs and it was the same shit, just louder music. I'd observe it night in and night out every gawd damn night for years.

[OlderAndWiser]

They ASK for your phone number. That doesn't sound like they think you are obligated to give your phone number to them. What would you prefer that they say?

[SvenTree]

Guys can't read minds. If you don't want to give him your number, then don't give it to him. He's not entitled to your anything. But I think it's problematic if you assume he's a pervert for trying. Guys are not going to develop psychic habilities to correctly guess when you think it's ok for him to ask for your number.

So... What's the alternative? Should men just avoid ever asking for women's numbers?

Should we make s law to make it illegal for men to ever try to initiate romantic relationships with women? And leave it completely up to the woman?

[Nirmroth]

No I think you're missunderstanding. The question to ask you if you're single has two purposes.

Firstly its to avoid waisting you and their times, secondly it gives you a easy way out by saying you are not doesn't matter if you lie or not.

They are interested in you and ask for your number not bec you're obligated to go out with them but bec you're free. Just say no.

[LiamJHayden]

The guy asks if you're single because he is interested, so it is natural to ask you out or for your number. That is where you either decline or give it. Most of us are accustomed to rejection, so the idea that we think you are obligated is kind of odd.

[paledreams]

Everyone's got their biological needs human ♀️ ♂️ 🛏️ 👀👁️👁️👀 bed

[dudegreat91]

Entitlement. Some women like entitlement in men

[Seemepjorn]

Doing what chicks want is weakness

[dudegreat91]

They are not doing it cause chicks like it. More like they already are entitled and chicks see it as a sign of dominance.

[Seemepjorn]

Sounds like circular logic

[A_Wild_Redhead]

Those guys just don't know how a person works.

[Walksbehindtherows]

There is no reason for this

[WhitneySnow]

Ego.