Don't laugh--I've forgotten how to flirt, gaaaaahh!! SOS

[Aphropuff]

Seriously. What the heck?! How did this happen, you ask?! "You used to be so confident and dated so much all the time!" yes, I know, thanks for pointing that out but UMMM it isn't helping.

Look: I used to be so so so confident. I was a breeze strolling through the room and sweeping guys off their feet. Now I've been single for so so so long and I think I come off as weird...!

For instance, a guy was standing next to me at a crowded concert and I heard someone say his name and then he mentioned the neighbourhood he lives in so I thought SCREW THIS! I"M GOING FOR IT! DO SMG DARING! cos I got good vibes from him and I went up to him at the end of the concert and said, "Hi, ummm I think I know you from somewhere, does you name start with an "S' and do you live in "neighbourhood"?" He said yeah (duh!) and he asked me my name and some stuff but then I said "anyway I'm going back to my friends." (I felt so embarrassed!) At few minutes later he came up to me and started talking and asked if he knew me from a creative writing group he goes to once a week and then this creep came and interrupted us and it took forever but then I lost the guy! shoot.

so I joined the creative writing group! which may have seemed weird to him but in fact it's a good way for me to freshen up my Greek since I am Canadian and live in Greece and so it may not seem too weird.

wow that's long hmm don't fall asleep I just need advice on how to be chill again and take it easy! cos he's such a cute geeky dude and friendly but quiet and he does talk to me when he gets the chance but it's taking forever (I joined a month ago, we've seen each other 4 times, this may take ages aaaa ask me out already, no?!)...

impatient is now my middle name. I will burst! finally, a guy I like--gimme tips before I do even more stupid things (like tell him that I probably just know him from E.T. cos he looks like what I imagine the kid from the movie would look like today as a grown up) and come off as desperate! (may be too late for that LOL)

[Nicci]

Well, he seems to like you already, to be honest you might confuse him if you start changing the way you are after knowing him for a little while now?

He just seems a little shy, so maybe just try to be a bit more patient and sometimes be the one who arranges dates and such?

You only really need to flirt when you haven't got someone, but you already have so? :P

[Aphropuff]

Wow! That's very reassuring:) I do hope he likes me. Heck maybe it's best to assume he does--then I can chill and lighten up! Thanks

[Anonymous]

when he is afraid to ask, how are you going to make him ask you ?

It seems you value what you can't get :D take a deep breath ... and start using your brain for a change. I don't know how to do that either, but just be yourself, be independent again, not dependant on outcome - if he says he doesn't want you, what then ? End of the world ? I hope not.

[Aphropuff]

Very good points! Very reassuring:) Thanks for your advice!

[Opinion Owner]

even if you like him, don't make it your priority. The thing is when I completely focus on one girl, I become chasing and very dependant on results. Not only that, but this dependency makes you nervous etc. You might have that "special" guy on your sights but to do that, be OK with other guys, have fun with them, and when you are used to that, it should be no problem getting to your desired one through others. It might provoke your guy to give it a go a bit at least :p flirting comes by itself :p

[Aphropuff]

Well said! It's definitely the best way to handle a situation. I've gotten rusty at that tho ever since high school and university ended cos there just aren't a lot of people around to talk to and be laid back and not focus on one person. That's why now when I like someone I fous on them more since it's not everyday tht I meet someone! Plus he's the only guy my age at the creative writing group, the other 2 are in their 50s! But you are right, people can seem needy so easily!

[Aphropuff]

Plus I bet neediness and desperate attitudes can easily be sniffed out by guys--am I right? You dudes can immediately tell, can't you? All I'm saying is that it used to be so easy--girl meets boy, they date and that's that. So many options, people are carefree and more adventurous when they're younger, it seems. After a point their expeiences make them feel like they need to watch out and be careful plus they think they now know what they want, etc. so people become reserved kinda, I think

[Opinion Owner]

things werent easy for me since I was brainwashed that looking at a girl was strange, talking to them was also, I hated whenever I spoke to a girl - "oh he's into her" kind of bs. Really, when I was some 17 I really liked a girl (neither did I know how they look like lol until 19) I was working in some places, having girls, some really hot, yet I was unable to even ask her a thing. xD Or I was on a ladder while she was giving me something ... oh xD I either had no interest or I was blown off

[martyfellow]

Forget trying to ideas random guys. Take this. class seriously and learn all you can. When you make yourself more interesting, you'll start meeting guys you have something in common with.

[Aphropuff]

Well said! I'm just going through a roller coaster of emotions right now because of stuf and I just need to take it easy:) thanks

[Anonymous]

Don't you think this question is a bit childish? And you come off as some prideful chick, so I just think you should relax and stop focusing on flirting and more on doing what you do.

[Aphropuff]

Well it does come off as childish, doesn't it? Indeed. But we all have our own ways of lightening up and dealing with feeling lonely. So I appreciate your honesty on that, absolutely. But keep in mind that we're exchanging advice here, no need to be mean. Prideful chick? Really? But I guess anyone can be badass anonymously:)

[jayzee]

WoW. Should go in high school again

[Aphropuff]

You're absolutely right--sadly, that's the phase I'm in. After feeling pissed off and bummed out for a long time, I figured, what the hell, have fun with it! Just trying to keep it light in my head, you know? Apparently TOO light though. Thanks for your honesty

[jayzee]

No problem. Actually high school and college is the best window for dating,flirting and stuffs like that. After that it kinda dies. I too miss high school crushes and stuffs. Are you single for a long time?

[Aphropuff]

Well "a long time" is relevant. For me it is a long time. All my life I just dated around because I didn't want a serious steady relationship. I think it's bet for people to just explore thing when they're young and not go steady just cos that's the norm. That doesn't mean sleeping around tho. I kept a balance. And then BAM! You just don't meet people anymore LOL So to be 25 and to have been single for 2,5 years, with the exception of a guy I dated a few months ago, feels weird now.

[Aphropuff]

Haha it's like when you don't want serious stuff, you keep on meeting people and then when you've had enough fun and experiences and want to be with someone, a ball of hay rolls through the wind and it's like you're in a ghost town--where IS everyone?! ha ha What about you?

[jayzee]

"That doesn't mean sleeping around tho. I kept a balance". --this quote really made me laugh.

Anyways Happens that happens to most people. We kinda seek for attention when we are young. . And most guys and girls flirt with multiple girls/guys. And it feels intoxicating the nAnd people kinda make fun then of the people who are single. After or in college ,people try to settlewe

[jayzee]

So we find a lesser number of single people when we need the most . For me I am single too :D.And I am okay about it. I had two really bad breakups :p and due to that I failed in a semester once :p . And I am far away from real relationships for the timebeing. And oncentrating on my carrier and I have got an awesome job.But I do flirt with a few girls and some of my friends think i. am no longer single. and a few girls have a crush on me too.and I have tons of friends to hangout with so I am h

[jayzee]

Appy. Lol. And I feel being single is awesome :p

[Aphropuff]

Absolutely! Having fun with friends and just being free is excellent. Haha laugh at my wise quites huh! Failing a semester cos of a breakup yikes that's dramatic LOL Well good luck with your career and maintain your upbeat easygoing attitude!

[jayzee]

Haha. Thanks. :)

You too in finding a good boy friend and don't let him go this time.

And also good luck in maintaining the balance Rofl