What are ways to be friends with a person who also likes you?

[KrisRez]

Not sure which topic to put this in but anyways:
We both like each other and we’re both shy but I usually initiate conversation and he is usually the first to greet/acknowledge me.

I would like to see if anyone else had some useful tips or advice on starting off as friends first since we are both shy types. I’m off to a great start so far but what are ways to keep this going?

[cloudnymo]

Lol it happens to a lot of guys but u know what we talk better when with our friends so I'll suggest making him take u as his best friend or something and dont make him do all the talking. U could talk about some random stuffs like u probably like looking at the stars at nighy... Just random talks tho should help trust me this would work but as it does don't let him do all the work cus u have a greater advantage at influencing him

[KrisRez]

So basically he'll open up within time. I know for a fact he likes me but I feel like he doesn't trust me yet. There are even times where I'm dressed up nice and he avoids me lol so sometimes I can't talk to him even if I wanted to because he can't control himself

[cloudnymo]

☺️ him avoiding you? That it there, the guilty conscience of love

[KrisRez]

Yeah he does!! But he's never mean to me..

Whenever he greets me or stares at me from a distance, I decided I'm gonna wink at him, not every time though

[cloudnymo]

Lol how old I this guy if I may ask? Cus sometimes age brings about a lot of maturity. And if he's a guy who's independent , it won't take him time to ask you out once he knows u also have interest in him

[KrisRez]

It's a long story, you could always dm me. Just turned 34 by the way

[KrisRez]

Also at this point, he knows I'm interested but it seems he wants to take things slow

[Jamie05rhs]

"but I feel like he doesn't trust me yet.". That's the key right there.

@KrisRez How does he know that you're interested?

[KrisRez]

@Jamie05rhs here is a question previous to this, as it may shed some light on the situation. Feel free to post there if you'd like.

Was this guy trying to be friends first? ↗

[Jamie05rhs]

@KrisRez You're confusing. First you say you're interested. Then you say it wasn't a date. Which is it?

[KrisRez]

@Jamie05rhs I just don't want to rush things.

[Jamie05rhs]

@KrisRez I understand. But you have to at least be honest.

[blueazure]

As you begin to know each other better through communication, it will lead you to be friends with him. Communication is the key. In my opinion. Like you can try to talk about things you like or something else.

[RearEntryGuy]

Communication is an Art. And it's obvious that both of you are "beginners" (opps... sorry...)

Why not treat learning this art like you did in college: academically.

This means:

1) start a project where both do research, then work together to obtain the goal.

Eg. Project Communication - How to listen and response.

2) before any dates, read up, then send "agenda" to each other. Then talk about the agenda point by point.

3) give "homework" to each other before the date ends.

4) be disciplined, be strictly academic, make it a goal with half a year you both know the technique of social communication.

Repeat with a bigger, more interesting project. (When it eventually becomes sexual, you both should have a lot to talk about.)

Have fun.

[Anonymous]

You can't. I tried that for the past two years with a colleague when I'm already married. We both knew something was there. My wife knew something was there. So I pulled the plug by telling my colleague I fell in love with her and it needed to end.

I swear, she fell flat, started twitching, floudering and foaming at the mouth. Last I heard, she hasn't recovered and remains completely broken.

[Jamie05rhs]

You shouldn't have even entertained any thoughts for her in the first place.

[2021biguy]

Just start spending more time together and go places together.

[KrisRez]

How when every time we talk his brain goes to mush, he gets quiet, or he tries to act super cool even though he's shy? Lol

It's like his nerves gets shot and he doesn't want to say anything wrong. I'm basically trying to get to that part

[2021biguy]

Maybe he's just nervous around you because he likes you and is too shy.

[KrisRez]

@2021biguy I honestly think that's what it is. He likes me even though he doesn't know much about me.

The shy part is something I only see him do with me around. He's fine with everyone else. At one point we said hellos as I got in an elevator alone with him and he froze up like a statue. Quiet. Didn't say anything else the whole ride and didn't look back at me to talk or anything. He was still quiet when we got off too

[2021biguy]

Hi, yes some people are very, very shy and can't control it. So he doesn't have the nerve to talk to you. But good luck with him :)

[Jamie05rhs]

@KrisRez You were stuck in a small space with him with no way to escape. He was cognizant of the situation and was just trying to be respectful by leaving you alone during that moment.

[OddBeMe]

Getting their focus off trying to win you over. It’s possible but time consuming. Is it worth it?

[KrisRez]

More like I'm trying to win them over. But I wouldn't mind being just friends first. He's not the type to rush things and I actually want to go at his pace.

He never said he wasn't interested in me so I'm basing it off wanting to know each other better. I need more ways to do so though.

[emperor90]

be kind to them listen to what they say and chat to them tell them how u feel

[KrisRez]

So tell them something like “hey I think you’re awesome and I like you” sort of thing but only after a while?

[emperor90]

that is correct

[KrisRez]

I’ve actually tried talking to him and sometimes it’s like his brain turns into mush. It’s not that he isn’t happy to talk to me but he’s awkwardly quiet like he doesn’t know what else to say or talk about.

Getting a shy guy to open up even only a little bit is really hard

[Jamie05rhs]

@KrisRez If he doesn't think you love him, he won't really see the point in putting effort into a conversation with you.

[boobliker]

some one has to talk first so try to take it in turns and have a topic to talk about say the third in your local news paper, it an ice breaker.

[Shiningtempest]

@KrisRez I would recommend asking him about his favorite hobbies to see if there are any shared interests.

[linka_pat307]

If you both like each other, why not talk about it and decide then stage of your relationship in the future

[Northernlights25]

Complete and utter honesty about where you stand.

[PeterSmith1983]

Become friends with benefits

[msc545]

Try kissing him and see what happens