It appears you seek external validation. The problem with that is we end up feeling insatiable, and nothing is ever enough. Create challenges in your life and achieve a sense of accomplishment. Your self-esteem will never grow as a result of anything handed to you by others.
This could also be a reaction to approaching the high end of the ideal child bearing age, so maybe you're questioning your worth/value as a woman. This can lead to depression, so a therapist might be able to help you see the value in what you bring to any situation. By settling for people who treat you bad, you're just reinforcing your belief that this is all you deserve. Get a realistic perspective of life. You're neither entitled to handouts nor abuse. Find a happy medium, and create your own happiness and fulfillment.
Find hobbies that are engrossing that you can do by yourself
That's how I am now. I love being alone, I really enjoy my company. If someone treats me bad then I won't be there letting it happen because I love and respect myself. Just need to start working on you again
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