Relationships

How to be myself again cuz I guess I lost myself?

I was single for 3,5years. I was happy, enjoying single life. I really didn't want relationship and avoiding such a stuff. I just couldnt imagine myself in relationship with anyone and i didn't want to. then I met one girl. I found her pretty before we got to know each other but we wasn't friends then until her brother indroduced me to her. Her friends told me she is crushing on me for long time and really likes me. Even though i found her attractive I just wasn’t sure about relationship and all this. We started meeting each other often cuz we have a lot of mutual friends. I wasreally fighting my feelings not to fall for her. After few months i was thinking abouther all the time and when we were seeing each other i was always looking for her and start really like her. Then i decided that i just can't let her go. After some time we gotcloser, we always hugged and kissed (peck) when we met. After some time i asked her out and she said yes. Then we kissed few times and went out. But then she changed her mind and told me nothing against me but she doesn't want relationship now. It hurt me. I never wanted to get too invested in her but it happened. It is 2months and iam still not over her. It still hurts and i feel pretty bad. I can focus on task, enjoy time with friends etc. But when iam on my own I can't think of anything else. I was okay with kissing her in front of my friends I didn't mind when they teased me. I always wanted to travel the world solo and when i met her i was like why go solo when you can take someone you love. This is how it changed me. I want to be good old me again. Thinking about stock market and stuff. Not girl. I think she likes attention too much and likes when guys are around her and flirt. But iam not angry on her just disappointed. Now we dont talk much but hope this awkwardness will go away cuz i still see her as a fine person (friends). I got burnt bad and it really hurt my self esteem etc. Guess iam outta dating game for long time. Tips?

How to be myself again cuz I guess I lost myself?
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