Why does this guy continue to send me long messages after I told him I don’t want to date him?

Question

Back in October I went out on a date with this guy I met on a dating site. We were texting back and forth for some time before I decided we should meet up. I remember when I met him for the first time, I felt really disappointed because he lied about his height, said he was taller than what he was and I just wasn’t physically attracted to him at all. I continued on the date anyway and we went for a coffee, and he decided to prolong the date which made me feel like he was way more into me than I was him. Anyway after that date he kept messaging me really long essays which took forever to reply to, and eventually I told him the truth that I wasn’t ready to date and that it was nice to meet him but I wasn’t feeling any romantic feelings towards him. I didn’t hear from him then for two months and then on Christmas Day this year he messaged me saying ‘for what it’s worth have a nice Christmas’ and since then we’ve been exchanging messages again back and forth. I still feel the same way about him and don’t feel physically attracted to him and he still continues to send me really long messages (essays) trying to talk to me. They really irritate me and in the messages he keeps asking me if I was in a bad place emotionally when I met him and that’s why I rejected him and then says “I don’t want to push or press this by asking you”

I still don’t feel attracted to him physically at all and still feel if I met up with him again my feelings would be the same and wouldn’t change. Why does he continue to message me after I said I’m not wanting to date him?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

He keeps messaging you because you keep responding. I'm sure by responding you're not thinking much of it but the problem is, he is. By responding you're telling him that he has a chance to get with you.
When guys get on dating sites and lie about their height, they do it out of insecurity because they know women are not choosing short guys. They're not getting picked in person and they're not getting picked online. Therefore, they lie to get dates. They know most women are not going to walkaway, they're going to feel pity and continue the date. Because of this, they hope you will like them in person and overlook their lack of height. It's funny to me that he's asking you if you were in a really bad place emotionally as to why you rejected him... lol... what a way to be delusional. If you want this guy gone, no matter what he texts you, don't reply.

HollyK21 · Accepted Answer

Because you’re giving him hope by still responding to him at all. Maybe on your end it’s very innocent because you know you feel no attraction there, but for him he’s perceiving it as maybe there’s still a chance or you were probably confused then but now you aren’t so much. It’s mixed signals basically. If you have no interest in him then you need to stop even talking to him, so he can get the message and move on.

donnny2367764 · Accepted Answer

The more attention you give him wether it's a simple one word reply to any of his messages will likely keep him messaging you. You should have never exchanged real phone numbers. Also, you should be able to let him know easier through text about him not being honest about his physical appearance.
Lastly, you should avoid replying. Even if he keeps writing to you. He is definitely border line a creep but I think he's just lonely and wants your attention.
That's the price you pay for meeting people online, it's never recommended

Red_Dawn123 · Accepted Answer

I don’t like ghosting people if it’s not necessary. In this case, It may be. You’ve already told him you don’t like him romantically. You were very clear on that. I don’t recommend being friends with him because those unrequited feelings will make him a nasty person. Trust me. I would cut contact. Block him if he keeps contacting you. Eventually he’ll give up. I wouldn’t keep texting him. A guy will think you’re either “playing hard to get” or you’re leading him on. Both of which is not the case here. Best of luck.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

You can't know for sure why other people behave as they do, but you can examine YOUR behavior? Why do you continue to respond to his texts? After all, that IS likely why he continues texting you.

Anonymous · Answer

Well first, "wasn't ready to date" wasn't the truth lol, but I'm glad you added the rest of it.

But his Christmas text was to open the doors again, and it worked! Unfortunately what it meant (in his mind) when you responded, was that not only will you still speak to him, but maybe you've reconsidered (or would)? So my advice now would be to tell him again, but enforce the real reason (but you don't have to be hurtful either), just say that no, you weren't in a bad place, but when you met on the date, you didn't feel any connection or chemistry there, and that you're very sorry, you wish him well and he's a nice guy, but you're not a match romantically.

humpbackjack · Answer

You need to lay it out for the guy just let him know that you’re not feeling him at all and that it really set things off to a bad start when he was honest about his height and that it was just more clear to you that he wasn’t the guy for you as your first meeting went on and leave at that. No reason to be rude or mean yet just be straight to the point in a nice way and if you’re not wanting to message him anymore then just tell that you think it’s best to not message anymore if he keeps on then block him if he still continues then have your biggest friend run him off

MannyFrs · Answer

re iterate your non-feelings for him

dont be like this one girl recently told me that she still has feelings for me when in reality she's just an attention whore and can't stand to be by herself ANYWHERE for ANY length of time.

i honestly believe some women are so insecure about themselves that they will string guys along sometimes just because it makes them feel wanted when they have their inbox full of "beta" orbiters and "nice" guys

its like tell us the truth

dont be lying so you feel like they want you

also try to NOT fuck every guy that you encounter
JUST SAYING
sorry NOT sorry

sheikalana · Answer

My dear if you don't feel attracted to him at all you probably never will. The texting back and forth could be misleading and dangerous as he doesn't seem to understand nothing is ever going to happen between the both of you. I would stop answering and I wouldn't even open his messages again or probably block him he will eventually get the "message."

awkward_author · Answer

He's obviously attracted to you, and it's possible he believes he has a chance with you, despite being verbally told otherwise. By responding to his messages, you're giving him hope, so he's going to keep contacting you. If you don't want a relationship with him, the best thing you can do is cut off contact.

gamothen · Answer

Just ghost him, as cruel as it sounds it's the best you can do IF you already told him you weren't into him. I think he wanted a girlfriend so bad that when you eventually wanted to meet him he got very excited.

Naughtyboy71 · Answer

Well when you start texting each other again he think may go further
What if you did meet him again thing little different then he makes
the move to eat you out you stop him or let him finish then realize
He was a master of eating pussy many orgasms do you suck his cock
or do you fuck him

youngmix · Answer

He's a creep, and doesn't understand basic boundaries. Stay away from him.

Kevano · Answer

Probably the worst thing you did was continue to message back and forth after Christmas, it kind of sounds like you gave home hope that something might materialise when it clearly won’t. The best thing you can do is either tell home again you are not interested and if he still doesn’t take the hint then just block him altogether.

spartan55 · Answer

Who cares why? If you drew a boundary you wouldn't have to hear from him.

DaveJord · Answer

Because the guy is a loser, just block him on all apps, and social media and don't reply to him in any way..

loveslongnails · Answer

Ok, you're 27 years old and asking the obvious. He won't let go, that's WHY. He can't accept that you don't want him, THAT'S WHY. Do you want to know what's going on in his brain that makes him unable to accept you rejecting him? Good luck with that.

Vick2727 · Answer

I know you don't like him but maybe go out with him. See what he's about and if he doesn't pass, then just say yeah, I don't see this working.

Dmony45 · Answer

🤔🤔🤔🤔 well maybe he thinks u r playing hard to get and so he just keeps trying or something but what the hell do I know I'm a guy and yeah should know more but apparently I haven't had enough experience to learn on some of the mistakes.

poof_22 · Answer

Block, delete and move on. Why are you still texting him if you are not interested? He is still shooting his shots just in case.

Somoneelse · Answer

If you aren't interested. Just be honest about it. If he still goes on, block or ghost him.

slatyb · Answer

Why are you still reading them? Just auto-delete them, or block them.

Dchrls78104 · Answer

Congratulations! You've found the ultimate keeper---a guy who's not listening when you say "No".

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Why are you still talking to him? Just tell him straight up you don't like him. Then tell him you're not interested in chatting with him any further.

boobliker · Answer

can you do a return to sender address unknown I try it latter, i know email bounce back so sms could too

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

He's still talking to you because you're still talking to him. It's you keeping him there.

OddBeMe · Answer

Tough one. And scary. I’d say just slowly start ghosting.

deano1990 · Answer

Because he's ok that you don't want to date him now he's just after sex most likely.

AndrésC64 · Answer

Who cares? Block him.

LegendaryIcon · Answer

don't use dating sites they're scams

devoygf · Answer

when you love someone you don't give up easily

888theGreat · Answer

he hopes you change mind

Yuuibtony · Answer

Block and move on he a loser

Iron_Man · Answer

I won’t give up

Anonymous · Answer

Small penis syndrome

Anonymous · Answer

Block him

Why does this guy continue to send me long messages after I told him I don’t want to date him?

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