How can a guy today get a girlfriend when women have high standards?

[Anonymous]

I feel hopeless. a lot of other guys can use help as well because i feel like we have to be something prefect or near perfect

[AmandaYVR]

I know you and many men feel hopeless. And it is true, women have higher standards, and more options. Some young girls who are in their 20s, and physical prime, and most desired, will fight tooth and nail to try to convince you that there's nothing wrong with 'the system' the way it is, and it's men's fault for not being better. I don't agree with that and they are simply too young arrogant to have objectivity and compassion, but regardless, the situation is the situation. There's not much you can do, granted, but here are two essentials to keep in mind:

Forget online dating platforms because there's a big disparity between supply and demand. No matter how open-minded the females are, you'll always be competing with your male peers who are doing the same thing, trying to get a nibble.
The girls get overwhelmed with notifications, and even weeding through them all apparently becomes too tiresome (as most guys are not looking for "anything serious") and to them, it's like trying to find a needle in a haystack. You can die by drowning, or drought.

Try to focus on irl interactions. It is said everyone looks better with more dimension, movement, as opposed to static images. (And men tend to not take as many photos of themselves, don't ask their friends for help, use fewer filters, etc. etc. so women's photos tend to look better overall.) Plus, irl you have the added benefits of words, tone of voice, body language, etc. Suddenly it won't be all about your looks and stats.

Men tend to [have to] do the approaching, and women tend to hang back and are not as proactive. So again, you have a volume/numbers disparity. Some females then tend to think that they are the commodity that the guys want, and they can be choosy. Others are nervous, don't trust, and it will take more for them to want to engage. These latter types need to feel safe, so the way to them is: they become comfortable over time, seeing you in the same places that they frequent; someone in common that knows you both, that can vouch for you as being a stand-up guy; could be a business or retail context, or a club in which you share some common interest. You create comfort and trust over time. The key is showing your personality and making that the priority and prize, as opposed to the whole thing being based on looks.
Doubt me on that?
77%.
What do you prefer: looks and body or personality?

[Evan64]

It's so nice to see the opinion of an older woman and, on top of it, someone who's far more rational in explaining things than most of the other replies I've seen on here. Wish this site had awards.

[Asker]

At least someone understands the frustration of being a man in the dating world. It's brutal & a lot of us are going to have to learn to be single for life

[AmandaYVR]

Thank you, Evan. 🙏 I appreciate it.

[Anonymous]

*Advice:*
Make sure you are well groomed and start studying the chapter below on an attractive personality. And if you are really really serious, start looking into RSD or the NaturalLifeStyles.

Women are no better than you. Look at women without makeup... Women just groom well, that is it. Groom well and don't have a repelling personality. You don't need a witty or outgoing personality; just one that doesn't repel. Now if you want loads of girls you will need more.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/bEy1Yh-lhHM

[Opinion Owner]

Oh and get to know the girl but don't FORCE it. Do it slowly and naturally. Naturally is usually slowly. Usually anyway. You want to get to know her, not gather information. Ponder on that statement. Knowing someone and knowing information about them is two different things.

[lightbulb27]

This may be influenced by your culture which is a reason why anon is not helpful to getting good answers. In general:

Getting: you don't have to be perfect. You do have to be positive, project worth, and have confidence. Havesomething to offer... the women want to find the best they can as well and women are, in many cases, high achieving.

Keeping: wouldn't say perfect, but you will have to work with your woman and change and work on yourself as you work together.

it's all a process of discovery, including in yourself.

[Anonymous]

This is starting to make sense why hookers exist

[SlothySlob]

I think the problems is actually you. You're aiming too high while not even being able to reach that high. You ought to lower your standard to widen your net.

[Asker]

I dont have high standards. She doesn't need to be a model or baddie

[SlothySlob]

Then show me, whom are you aiming for?

[slatyb]

I got divorced in my 30's and had no trouble finding a girlfriend. I'm not tall, not a gym rat, just a nerdy guy who pays attention to my dates.

[slatyb]

My 5-5" balding 20-something colleague also found a lovely partner. He is in good shape, but wasn't when he came to Seattle. He got into climbing and now he's super fit.

[Anonymous]

The answer will always be no if you don't ask. It's really that simple. Get out there and take your chance Get shot down? Get up and try again. Eventually you'll get a yes.

[Wester1967]

Get a passport. Go to Mexico or further south. Good Luck

[Asker]

Are they any better than western women?

[Wester1967]

Yes.

[Evan64]

This is going to sound wild, but I found that it got easier when I just started to become more apathetic and just let things happen as they happened. Women like a challenge, after all. Remember they have as much to prove as you do, even if the world wants to make it seem like that's not the case.

[Asker]

Okay 👌

[Dinklex3]

Plenty of men get women.
Stop blaming the reason you're single on others and start working on yourself.
You aren't entitled a relationship.

[Asker]

80/20 rule. Use something else other than plenty of men date blah blah blah

[Dinklex3]

80/20 rule?
That says that women are only attracted to 20 percent of men they encounter? As of thats a bad thing? Are you attracted to 50% of people that you meet? Lol
I don't need need to use something other than "plenty of men" since it's true.

[Asker]

Well a lot of average looking men feel they have to be a top tier guy. Women are the ones that expect perfection from men. Society has it ass backwards. And here's the thing women can have those standards, fine. But stop saying men are shallow or put unrealistic expectations on you all because that's horseshit

[Asker]

Statistics>what you see

[Dinklex3]

Lol. Yes.
A study on okcupid, based solely on looks applies to real life dating.
Why dont you try looking up the study and actually reading it yourself instead of just taking numbers you've heard and claim them as hard facts without taking into account any factors that go into it or what it's actually saying.
"Statistics> what you see"
Open your eyes and actually see for your own eyes whats happening in the real world instead of blindly focusing on numbers from a dating site study that you haven't read or understand.
"Average looking men" is subjective.
And i doubt anyone said they want someone who is "perfect" whatever, that looks like.
"Unrealistic expectations" are a thing for both men and women.

[Asker]

Yeah and i can tell that women only date a small percentage of men and even share those men. The only guys i see getting dates are chads & Tyrones. Average looking women are dating these men. They don't want average looking men. You have to be the best of the best to date as a guy. This is what me & millions and millions of other dudes see. You're a woman so of course its goint to be different for you. Man and women are not the same in the dating world. Both genders play in different ball parks. 80% of men are invisible and male virginity is on the rise. More and more men are going to be virgins & single

[Asker]

Women want perfection or close to perfection. Men must create their value. Women are born with theirs. a lot of guys still struggle even after trying. Dating is brutal for guys

[Dinklex3]

Looks are subjective. No one wants to be with someone and think "eh, (s) he's average". Its completely normal to only want to date people you're attracted to and its completely normal to not be instantly attracted to every single guy that walks down the street.
Again, looks are subjective. I date completely different guys than my best friends date. We all have different "types".
I see men who I personally think are complete shitheads get dates.
There are homeless people in relationships, people that work in Walmart in relationships, target, petco, McDonald's, mechanics, doctors, nurseses, lawyers ETC.
So you clearly dont have to be the "best of the best"
I see beautiful women dating chubbier and unattractive (to me) men all the time.
Even if that stat was true (which it clearly isn't) there's nothing wrong with only finding 5% of men that I enteract with as attractive. My "5%" is different than my coworkers, which is different from their friends and so on. That's what makes people special when you actually do end up with them.
You create your own value as do we.
I didn't just wake up from out of my mothers womb and not have to try at anything. I went to school, educated and bettered myself, got a job, diet, exercised, and am still working at being the type of person i value/want to be.
Rejection is a part of life. There are both men and women that are trying to find Mr (s). Right.
Pretty dumb to be mad at women for not finding you attractive.

[Asker]

Meh they're more objective. A dude that's unattractive to every girl is more likely going to be unattractive to every other girl. a lot of dudes will tell you that they are ugly to every girl out there. They try & fail continuously. You dont know what its like because you're a woman. Woman have a very much easier time in the dating world. You dont have to approach. Men do and men also have to work on social skills & leading the conversations. Women in general don't have to do this. I've seen a homeless man on the streets become a millionaire but that's not the norm and that's very rare. Again people can say i see so & so with this person but who cares. When numbers can tell you that a lot of men are unattractive to women, what you see doesn't disprove the rule. Again (EXCEPTIONS DON'T DISPROVE THE GENERAL RULE). And it's not even blaming women for not finding us atteactive. It's just being self aware and realizing how brutal the dating world is for guys

[Asker]

Women really don't have to do much compared to a guy in the dating world. You'll deny this because of course you're a woman and won't understand and quite frankly i don't think it's possible for you to understand. You need to have the mind of a man to understand these things. But a girl once she turns 18, has more than a guy that just turned 18. She doesn't have to do much. She'll be approached and mind she doesn't even need to be a model or above average. She can be average or help even below average and she'll still get somewhere in the dating world. You don't even need to be fit bevause of guys like bigger girls. Women have a lot more leeway to do very little and still succceed in the dating world. As a guy i have to create my value in the dating world. I have to approach, i have to work on my social skills, develop a high self esteem so that way rejection doesn't hurt because guys are the ones that get rejected a lot more, i have to work my ass off at the gym to get noticed to be seen as attractive by women. I have to lead the conversations. If the conversation dies it's more than likely going to be my fault. I have to iniate and plan dates. I have confidence which by the way comes from positive experiences. You can't just confident. Men have to put more work in dating and we raise our value by doing these things. But a dude that's a 4 or 5 in the face is gonna have a very very hard time. That's how dating works for men

[desidoll]

It is the other way around. From what I have noticed, most men who have issues finding a partner tend to go for someone who doesn’t find them attractive.

[Asker]

Yeah because women find 80% of men unattractive

[noohair]

Before television, people were less shallow. Now the concept of a good man is all visual.

[Evan64]

Wholeheartedly agree. Social media was just a catalyst in the process.

[Juxtapose]

Go to the gym, get some interesting hobbies and find a woman who isn't a gold digger.

[BarryLiverstone]

By meeting someone and forming A connection

[anylolone]

With only a minority of men getting it.