Do you give up when you find out the person is taken?

Question

Seems like some people see a wedding ring and then pretend they never saw it.  Or else they take it as a challenge to try to pull you out of your commitment. I just dont get it lol. I admit,  when i find out a crush is taken, i have to distance myself from them. I’ve only had that “steal him away” mentality twice and its so not worth it . Because they’ll try to keep you as a side piece instead of leaving either of you. Im a huge flirt and have to maintain self control but i certainly wouldn't get physical with a taken person. Whenever im taken and i tell a guy that,  a lot of them are like “What your man got to do with me? What he dont know won't hurt em!”  Its just sickening. One dude told my boyfriend at the time to his face “I’ma take yo girl.” Lmao and then i had to try to hold him back from fighting lol.  #FeelFreeToList #TakenOrMistaken

ohshee · Accepted Answer

No i let it go if a girl is already in a relationship she's already in a relationship and I have to respect that I have to respect her and the guy you don't just make yourself at home when it's somebody else's house

Mangospacho · Accepted Answer

No way. Jim didn’t give up on Pam and they still got together after he beat up Roy.

Anonymous · Answer

A ring or knowledge of an ongoing relationship is a no-no for me. I don't even try. That's just disrespectful.

Saying that, it doesn't mean I can't wish. It doesn't mean that I can't hope they split, (meaning from a guy that's rotten and cheats or abuses), because he doesn't deserve her, and she doesn't deserve his disrespect or mistreatment.

I'm not quiet about my opinion to her though. Not that I want her, or that I would treat her so much better, but that she could do so much better and shouldn't tolerate an ass. If it happened that we got together, well then, so be it, but my voicing something isn't necessarily any indication that I want her. I just happen to care about her and her well being as a human being.

Him, I don't even talk to. He doesn't deserve my attention or help. He already knows what he's doing wrong. He gets exactly what he deserves if she walks away.

It's not about bros before hos. It's about ignoring a dumbass, or letting karma do its thing, because it'll come around one day.

Yurrasis · Answer

I would give up if they are in a happy relationship. If they break up and I'm still available, I'd probably shoot my shot but I definitely would not be counting the days for their break up.

Chasing after someone knowing they're happily taken is a douche move. You're basically declaring your willingness to snatch them away from someone else. I'm not sure why people think it's okay to steal someone's partner when they're both really happy with each other.

If they had a toxic relationship, I would help the person out of it if they're the victim. However, if they were the abuser or something, I'd stop liking them and help their partner out of it.

I've seen lots of kdramas, cdramas, etc. featuring the ML flirting with a taken FL, aware she is happily taken but thinks she can get a better man so they mess with the couple's dynamic by slotting themselves in. It just screams drama and disrespect, I don't really like it. If he was saving her from her toxic partner then okay, that's fine. They shoot their shot when they know they aren't happy in the relationship and are emotionally available again.

Even though it's a drama, I've actually seen this happen to one of my HS' sweethearts and it was just so weird to witness it in person. Typically dramas stay fictional until you see it yourself.

Lliam · Answer

I would never consider doing anything with a married woman. Period. I consider that to be immoral.

I never actively pursued a girl who had a boyfriend. But I've been pursued by girls who had boyfriends. In that case, I figure they are fare game. I mean, a boyfriend or girlfriend isn't a lifetime commitment. It's more of an experiment to see if they are the one you want to stay with. If you don't, then you are allowed to make a change. It's a bit like trying new jobs or going to college and being unsure what you want to major in. You take different courses and try different things until you find something that inspires you.
Having a boyfriend/girlfriend is just part of life - learning, experimenting, and gaining experience.

I admire the kind of women who aren't afraid to engage in relationships and fully commit to them as way of determining if the guy is truly the right life partner. That includes having lots of sex. There's nothing at all wrong with that. And if things don't work out, no biggie. Move on. It's part of growing up. In the meantime, you had fun and built lifelong memories. And in the long run, even the heartaches are worth it.

God_of_Thunder · Answer

Eh...

Well...

Let's just say there is a long running joke amongst my friends that if a woman is single, then I have no chance with her. I have something of a reputation/bad habit of stealing taken women.

I'm not exactly proud of that, and I don't do it on purpose, but things usually end up that way. I'm told I'm a nice guy, a good listener, and very charming. I tend to become friends with women, and they eventually start to confide in me, and come to me when they have problems with their relationships.

I try to help out, listen, and treat them well, so before I even realize what is happening, we start to fall for each other. One thing leads to another, and suddenly we're dating, and I'm a horrible person. 😭

I was gonna anon for this one, but I figured you'd realize it was me, anyway. 🤷‍♂️

DaveJord · Answer

I am like you when they are taken I distance myself. I feel that even if I could steal them away... chances are it would only be a matter of time that someone else comes along and steals them away from me.

So like you said most people that are willing to be stolen away are not worth the effort. Now if they break up then I might see what the chances are, but you can't come off as creepy. Because women know guys look to be the the rebound guy, so you got to give it a month or two before you come swooping in. If they find someone else super quick after breaking up then I assume they are players anyway, and not for me.

AndrésC64 · Answer

I wouldn't go after a girl because I knew that she was taken. And if I knew that she was taken ahead of time then I wouldn't go for her. But I have to admit that I did have a little thing with a married girl. I honestly can't recall if I knew that she was married in the beginning. We met in school and she was going through a really shity time in her marriage and her husband was a drunk. But it didn't last long, and honestly looking back I think I'm glad that it didn't. She was really cool and we jog along really well. But I wouldn't have wanted to go through all the drama with her husband.

OpenClose · Answer

I mean I tend to give up. Still be friends with her and whatnot. But if she's willing to just ditch her boyfriend or husband for me, then I can be pretty sure she will view me just as expendable and replaceable as him. So no point in pursuing it if I'll probably trust and respect her less if she does it. Break up with your current guy first.

desidoll · Answer

Yes, I don’t want to encourage cheating, because I don’t want to get cheated on too. There are people who don’t give up not because they want to steal the person, but it is more on “to stroke their ego” Once the person cheated on their partner with them, they would leave. I despise this type of people so much.

NathanDavis · Answer

I don't give up... I just don't even try

and that's out of basic respect and decency... lol

and a couple of times I've kept my distance... because they're the ones trying for something with me (or testing, better said) while they're involved with someone else

I don't need any of that

Berethor · Answer

Yea, because it's not moral to steal, and because I don't like second hand stuff anyway.

ARWINGx1 · Answer

(based on the title)

Yup. Now, simply saying that I'd "distance myself from <her>" may seem much, but it's 'cause I don't wanna risk drawing (negative) attention to her boyfriend, who *may* be the kind that easily gets jealous and don't want anyone to approach her, even if it's just some harmless chatting.

Кураж · Answer

The woman I've dated the longest in my life had a boyfriend before she dumped him for me.

In short, no I'm not letting that discourage me.
It's up for them to decide whether they entertain my advances, to me they are no different from anyone else.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

I don't understand how that sort of scenario would occur.

How would you develop feelings enough to start a persuit, before knowing everything about the person?

To me it seems like their single/taken status would be something you would know long before before the person was reveiled as dating material.

Anonymous · Answer

Depends on lot of factors… the main one being what I want at that time. If I just want to f and if this person isn’t physically happy or in open relationship then yes I would use him as my boy toy.
Emotionally though I would never get involved with a man that’s already taken.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes. Yes yes yes and yes. There’s no point in ruining a perfectly healthy relationship. Or even if it’s not healthy it’s honestly none of my business to meddle in. Oh well, wish him or her the best and move on. There are plenty of men and women out there to get to know. Don’t waste your time on 1.

Anonymous · Answer

I wouldn’t want the drama and the issues that will come about.
I will immediately lose interest if I find a man to be married, a man to be a father, or a single father.
I immediately lose interest if he had hidden the fact that he’s a father or married.

COMPLETE TURN OFF

VarddaanKaushikk · Answer

I would study the type of Relation they have with their partner (ghinking they're not married) .

If the relationship is all over the place and is an absolute mess , I'll wait till it's over and then I'll help her out of it and later (a few months later) shoot my shot. 50/50 chances are better than 0 chances.

If she's happy and satisfied with her partner , I'll give up.

KeithLane · Answer

I would not go after a person once I found out they were taken but I have stayed close to them. Most of my friends are real tall likr 6'6" tall. Most women who come into contact with my group would be attracted to their height. I knew they would soon figure out height does not make you a cool person. Many a woman found solace in my arms.

KatieB713 · Answer

Yeah I would...
I learnt is school that crushing on someone who is taken just makes the whole experience worse... for that reason as an adult I don't get romantically attached/ involved with people with partners

KolonKby · Answer

Yeah, I give up trying to get into something romantic with them. I'm not one to wedge myself in someone else's relationship. But that doesn't mean I stop talking to them altogether, friends are good to have.

chulo1992 · Answer

When I used to be a player/womanizer many many years ago, I used to meet a lot of women and some would be married. When they would tell me they're married I would ask them are they happy. It got to the point where I ended dating a married woman and eventually living with her when she separated from her husband. Nowadays I have sworn off dating married women because have been killed.

RobT312 · Answer

Well the thought used to cross my mind to fight a little and would think maybe I still have a chance... but naw. I just let it go and moved on... I did this on 2 occasions

Avicenna · Answer

Yeah, I don't waste my time. But what has happened a number of times is that she said she wanted me to meet her sister or friend (another reason why a guy should respect it when she says she isn't single).

ItsMeElliana · Answer

if he's married/has a fiancee, yes. id give up  just dating a girl? id probably not want him, but it'd just be called desire. because like i want him, but i actually dont want him.

fonduegirl · Answer

Depends. Am I getting extra something? Then yes please? I see relationship as investment. The only dealbreaker would be children, marriage or possessiveness, knowing this person isn't exactly loyal kind.

Slartybartfast · Answer

Guys usually go to great effort to make sure a women is single and interested before he approaches to reduce the number of rejections he has to endure.

loveslongnails · Answer

Yes, definitely. Anything else is just rude. Besides, if you went after a taken person and they jumped ship to you, they'll do the same TO you with someone else. Is that the kind of person you really want?

Jisuntamed · Answer

Normally Yes I would walk away. I could stay and pursue her if I get a hint from her. May be she want to get out of a abusive relationship or already almost done with him.

Staximus · Answer

If a woman says she's not single, I leave her alone. I used to have a couple of married women hit on me at work. I didn't feel like being their second banana

Cherry234 · Answer

I don't go after taken men. You're right. It's really not worth it, and it's morally wrong to do that.

The_Shadow_Dweller · Answer

Give up is not the right word I think. More like respecting their decision and getting to an understanding that we do not have any place here.

MrtoddsWildRide · Answer

No point in getting invested in something you can't have. However, anyone that has read my opinions on here will know that I am not against an open relationship so if that is an avenue that isn't blocked, go for it. Just remember that no means no.

Agape93 · Answer

Yeap. I don't condone cheating so unless I know 100% that everyone is ok with it, I cut contact.

Siren777 · Answer

Yes but the true question is do they give up on me?😏🤣

exitseven · Answer

If the person is married it is game over. If she is just in a relationship the ball is still in play.

Pink2000 · Answer

I would never pursue someone in a relationship. I respect relationships and If they let me steal them away I already know they do the same to me.

kellytheman · Answer

Yes if I find out that she is taken or in a relationship I don't try to flirt or hook up with her. I don't cheat or tempt people to cheat on there partner.

Anonymous · Answer

I make my moves when I'm ready, not when it's my turn. If she's willing to step out on her man, I'll take her. And when I'm done with her, I'll let him know. Serves her right for being a cheating hoe.

beebella · Answer

I always back off when I find out they're unavailable.

Evan64 · Answer

Yes. There is no point in getting in the middle of something. Some people may find that cute/fun/exciting but to me it's unnecessary drama.

magiusX26 · Answer

yep. its a matrer of respect plus am not competing for anyone. either you like ne or you dont. try making it a competition and you can walk on out.

Anonymous · Answer

yes, as you should!! Have some respect for people's relationships, and yourself!!!

TrillXHippy · Answer

If a girl is married I’m not going to bother with her at all. Now if a girl has a boyfriend I will wait till she no longer has a boyfriend to talk to her

Twalli · Answer

I had an instant wher a girl kept trying to date me despite I kept telling her I was taken. She also said it coukd be a secret relationship and my girlfriend didn't need to know

1988fido · Answer

yes i dont interfere. and it happened to me. so i just move on

Sasha_Gee · Answer

I give up. If he is taken that means that I have lost the game. 😣

CherryK · Answer

I don't chase but if i did, no i wouldn't go after him.

DarkWinterNights · Answer

Yeah I actually lose interest very quickly as well.

Godsvengeance · Answer

I would definitely lessen any pursuit but if I was interested I'd still try to send her subtle signals

Hedo-1 · Answer

Yes of course! Unless you want to be known as a homewrecker!!! That'll make someone feel really good.

bulletbob555 · Answer

Well I mean its a different approach. It would be considered poaching to ruin. A perfectly good marriage or relationship. What if the person seemed unhappy or was in an abusive relationship

dragoblack · Answer

Yes. They made their choice. I'm not going to be the rude creep trying to ruin it for my own satisfaction.

Alyssa_11 · Answer

Yes of course I do. I respect other people’s relationships and I expect the same back.

Dchrls78104 · Answer

For me, "taken" means just that: Taken. It's a giant sign marked "STOP. DO NOT ENTER. CLOSED SET".

pretty_bad · Answer

Hell yea cause why waste my time trying to get another woman man when I can go find my own

boobliker · Answer

most of the time but if she was hunting me down i may play along a bit before saying something!!!

Northernlights25 · Answer

Uh, obviously? Anything beyond is trying to incite cheating.

AdithyaR · Answer

I give up even if the person is single, much less if they're in a relationship.

cookiecrusher · Answer

There is nothing to give up.  Wasting your time this way lowers your own value.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, it would be wrong to try and break someone up as the two are likely happy together. So it's wrong and selfish to break them up just so you can be happy. Or at least it seems that way to me.

Do you give up when you find out the person is taken?

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