I was quite the open book when I was single on dates. Yet unless my date asked, the things I shared about me were usually on the funny side. I was still trying to advertise my good side so what I initiated sharing was more of the better side of me. If she asked though, I'd open up about other things.
My preferred way of dating though was never to start by sitting somewhere and talking. I preferred to at least walk around a park or something, ideally have some fun and laughs together, then sit down and talk. I think that helps. There's a lot that's communicated just doing things fun together and having a good time.
My address. Financials. Exes (though that’s something I don’t really talk about until we are dating for a while). I’d probably give my basic family info, but not the negative stuff.
If I’m ok talking about it online, then I’d probably be ok talking about it on an early date. If I’m not, then I wouldn’t talk about it on a date, either.
Hmm, my address, my parents names, my phone number. It depends though. I gave my (now) boyfriend my phone number before our first date lol, only after we talked for maybe a week and a half on a different platform.
That stoned owl is creeping me out. As far as dating goes, take your time and get too know each other before dumping all your private baggage on each other.
Contact number only, the date doesn't need to know anything else at that stage, you should get to know the date much better before sharing private information.
I can't think of anything right off hand, especially if it just came up during conversation. If it came up I'd probably disclose it. I don't want to start a relationship with deception.
@Flower7 I tell them I'm in finance. If that's not enough for and she keeps probing I'd ask her how much debt she's in. That usually ends it lol. I don't have a problem with telling her what I do. So long as she really wants to know what I do and not how much I make.
@Flower7 Yeah it's primarily a judgement call. I realize women just want to know that if they form a relationship with the guy that financially he's going to hold up his end. And in the past I would have even questioned myself as I've never had a prestigious, high profile job. So I'll fully admit this is a sore spot for me. But I spent my 20's and 30's busting my ass, investing and living below my means to ensure I'd have a good retirement. I'm not rich, but I shouldn't have to work again for the rest of my life should I choose not to. I can live off my investments so I'm not lying when I say I'm in finance. But I think my past 20 years. Proves my work ethic. I know I've chosen the road less traveled and I know that comes off as weird, and risky. But my parents did the 9 to 5 thing their entire life and what did it get my father? A 3 year retirement and then he passed away. And after working his butt off his entire life. I've always said I love and highly respect my father. But my parents worked hard and raised me right so I wouldn't end up like them. That drove me to succeed. And I don't trust corporate America. You are seldom rewarded based solely on your merits. I know this was long winded but this is the point I'm making. If you just asked me what I do for a living you'd be getting a very one dimensional description. To truly understand someone you have to know their character. This is why I get annoyed when some women put a dollar amount on success like 100k a year. I always say. It's better to take the guy who makes half that and is humble and hungry. Because you know his character. He'll always fight to succeed even when the going gets tough. But there is no quit in him.
@Flower7 I think everyone does. It's funny people always say things like "I am not my job". So it's funny how society attaches so much identity to what people do. Let me ask you this do you feel more, equally or less judged then you assume men are for their careers?
Equally. Because no matter the gender of the asker of the askee, this seems to always be asked for the same reason: wanting to know how much money the person makes.
@Flower7 OK, so you think it's just as much a woman's job in a relationship as it is a man's financially, I take it then? I guess I feel their is slightly more pressure on a man since "traditionally" he's always been the breadwinner. I'm not suggesting anything. I'm just saying this is where we're at as a society. Some women expect tradition out of a guy some are more progressive.
Well, regular people are always asking me this also. Random people like Uber drivers and the person who was taking my X-rays at the dentist. Not only people I’m dating. And not limited to guys either. I get asked this just as much by both men and women. Pure nosiness if you ask me!
@Flower7 lol well maybe you're bothered by it even more than me. I walked away from my job of 23 years last year. I call myself "retired" because I haven't decided my next step. As I've said financially I can afford to stay retired but c'mon, I can't be completely idle. Not in my mid 40's so I just haven't really decided my next step so right now I'm fine just taking a break as I haven't had a vacation in 20 years lol. But I know it's unusual. And like you said. My last dental checkup my hygienist who normally asked me how my job was, I know she was just making small talk. I told her I don't work there anymore. She asked where I worked now. I said I don't work anywhere. I was met with an awkward silence as though someone died. Because the assumption is I'm one of the victims of the current economy. It didn't bother me that she asked. I don't think she was judging me. I think she just didn't know what to say. I said if I was destitute I wouldn't be getting my teeth cleaned lol. I think this is the problem with society is that we judge people on their success or failures and not on their effort. This why I laugh at young people on here who so foolishly judge people on where they're at. First of all they're young they have tons of potential. But as you go through life you find it isn't fair to some people. Some people get dealt one hardship after another. I've been incredibly blessed. But by mere chance I could've been like my sister who had a chronic kidney ailment and died at 48. This is why I say people need to take the whole person into account not just their occupation.
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