Is a 21 year age gap too much? I met this man a year ago and we talk every day but we live in other states?

[Anonymous]

We have a great connection at least from my perspective and I know we really do care about each other I’m 24 and he’s 45 but it doesn’t feel that way when we talk or hang out, we live in separate dates so we don’t see each other too often but my friends hate that I’m so head over heels for this guy and they want me to date someone my age that lives closer

[ChrisMaster69]

This is a reply I gave to a similar question the other day.

For me it’s about compatibility (how much you have in common with the other person, likes, interests, thought process, how you perceive society etc), which can be loosely linked to age etc.

with two people both at say 25, the chances are they have a fair bit in common, have likely experienced same things in regards to society etc.

The further you move these ages apart, the less and less they may have in common. This makes relationships harder.

experience forms part of this, where similar levels of experience also come into it.

If one person is say experienced at 25 and is in the same archery club or martial arts club as the other who is less experienced but older, then it may be that they can be more of a gap than without that experience.

It can get messy and also is open to abuse by coercion of the younger or less experienced person.

if you both like same sport or interest and are passionate about it, both like same music, genre of something, and a bunch of other stuff, then age is very much secondary.

The other big red flag, warning light is when someone dates a person because of their age and not because of the above. This thing where someone says I want a 20-22 yr old girlfriend, is just wrong and that’s even if the other person is 25.

to me there needs to be compatibility and even more so for me, an emotional connection.

it’s making sure both are happy and realistic about the relationship.

[ohshee]

See because that's because you know exactly who you are and you know what you want and you're happy and you are a leader you're not a follower now you're going to have a bunch of people on here giving you crap about this question probably because they don't know what happiness is I've never experienced it but it is what it is I say it's great I say be happy smile if he makes you happy that's what it's all about

[Chlo3_2001]

I don't see the issue. You're 24 so that's a fine age.

[Asker]

I’m actually 22

[Asker]

Ages moved a bit to hide identity

[Chlo3_2001]

I understand. I do the same thing on here unless I plan to actually meet someone I hide my age too. I find if you're old enough to legally drink anywhere in the world, you're old enough to date any adult if you're both happy.

[dougeats]

true!

[Slartybartfast]

My friends wife is 28 he's 49.

She fell a few years ago and was in the hospital almost a year. Her kidneys failed and he takes her to dialysis while often working overtime.
She's in a wheel chair now and can't do much for herself. I helped him put a stair lift into the home they had bought just weeks before she fell.

I call him super Mike. His devotion and self sacrifice leave me in awe.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

If you are happy with him that's all that matters and the same for him, if he loves you and treats you good that's all matters don't let people butt in your relationship cause they are jealous of you.

[Tylerstarkey]

No love has no age


Unless it’s underage

Then no a hard no on that case

[michael1469]

My daughter did this to me. I certainly did not show much appreciation for the relationship.

Look at it this way - you'd be fucking your dad...
Just saying...

[In_Trance]

No there's nothing wrong with that if you're both okay with it

[Berethor]

He can be your dad. :)

[Asker]

But he’s not

[Henry___Blakes]

That's a huge gap i think.

[Asker]

You don’t think it could work?

[Henry___Blakes]

Yeah it could work. But there might be difficulties regarding the way you both think

[Asker]

Yeah that’s true I think we are both pretty agreeable though

[Medhat-M]

Yeah.. Not good.. Not good at all

[Luckycharms12]

Ya different places in life

[Asker]

Very true but we get along great

[Luckycharms12]

There going be loads get along great with for all you know his married with kids can't be to careful

[Asker]

I talk to him everyday and he does have one kid but I’ve been to his place a few times and any pics he sends he’s in that place and it’s almost daily he sends selfies

[Asker]

Yes I get a lot of attention but for some reason he’s the only person I want

[Luckycharms12]

Because told you shouldn't. Plus your going to want get married have kids all of that he probably isn't. Easy hey along with someone when don't meet much

[TrillXHippy]

23 year age gap* nope

[Anonymous]

is it your friends or you who's living your life?