I got catfished one time by a woman on a dating app. She had pictures which I realize now were pictures of her taken previously, it looked like she had an extra 5-15 years and possibly some hard drug use since the photos were taken. I don't remember if she misrepresented her age or not. The photos looked like she could be from19-25, the person who showed up was somewhere between 30-45.
Even the photos she had, I thought she was kind of cute but not really drop dead gorgeous or anything. We were both local and she was eager to meet so I thought why not get to know her and see if there's some chemistry. I met her for a drink and I didn't even recognize her when she approached me. There's no way I was interested, and was confused then and later what she thought would happen sending me a picture of herself clearly very different from who showed up.
Here's an image I found that gives a rough idea of the "before and after" that I dealt with.
I wasn't rude or anything. I chatted with her for a bit while I finished my beer and was pleasant, but then I said I had to go and left.
@roseline_ I don't know where she went after I said goodbye. I spent more than enough time with someone who I agreed to meet based on her deceptive practices.
Hmmm, I feel like a picture like that is OBVIOUSLY very edited, though. Why not just avoid anyone who only posts pictures that are heavily filtered?
@grapefruit11 like I said, it wasn't this picture. It was what appeared to be an unedited photo, she wasn't even wearing that much makeup. Only after meeting her in person did I realize it was as I said obviously from several years previous.
As to heavily filtered, I feel like that's 80% of photos online now. at least for women.
PS it was before filters were a thing on phones.
Oh, my mistake. I thought that you were saying it was a similarity distorted picture. So, I thought it would have been just as obvious.
I don't understand why someone would post an older picture that obviously is very different than what they currently look like. Unless she was delusional and thought she still looked the same, then that's intentionally misleading. You handled it well.
Yes, a lot of women are almost "addicted" to Snapchat filters that make them look like a completely different person. It's sad.
I think, even if it's 80% of women, they're worth weeding out so you can find an honest person.
@grapefruit11 I avoid online dating almost 100%. I get bored every now and then and swipe through profiles, but I don't really put much effort or thought into it, and I rarely have any interesting connections. Much less interesting than my in person interactions.
I just did a quick search for "catfish woman" and that photo was one of about 4 options that were close enough. Another might have been this: 
But as you said, it's more about filters and makeup these days than people using an unfiltered photo of them in college.
WOAH. That second before-and-after is shocking! I totally agree. I've stopped using online dating. It's so much easier to form a genuine connection in person where people can't get away with as much deception.
@grapefruit11 yeah it's a bit sus right? When I go out in the world and I only find someone attractive very rarely here and there, not that many people stand out. But go online and somehow there are hundreds of gorgeous, high achieving, active, athletic women in my area?
Yes, many years ago. My boss kept trying to set me up with his friends daughter. I kept saying no until one day my phone rings. He has giving her my number. I was 21 and never really rejected someone at that point (felt cornered and bad for her) so I reluctantly said yes to her invite to a music festival the following day. I hoped for the best but expected the worse. I was not attracted in the least and then whole date I asked her a simple question,"What type of music do you like?", etc. She'd answer then ask me the same question in response. I'd answer and she'd back track and change her answer to what I said. I couldn't wait for it to be over and mad at myself for agreeing to go to the festival. It got worse when I dropped her off and she wouldn't get out. She kept dragging it out with awkward small talk while positioning herself fir a kiss. She wouldn't take the hint of "So here is your place. Tell Ron (my boss) I said hi." or "I got some errands I should probably get to". It took about 7 our 8 minutes of me dropping hints for her to get them duck out without saying "get them duck out". Luckily she did and I wasn't forced to be an asshole. Unfortunately she thought the date went great and kept pestering my boss about why I never asked for a second date. In turn he pestered me for the next three months. Wish I could say I learned my lesson but I went on another blind date a few years later and its was about the same.
I fell in love with my sons dad over the phone not knowing what he looked like. After 3 months of talking for hours every night my dad drove me from northern California to southern California to meet him. We had family down there we stayed with. So he came to my aunts door and when I opened it I wasn't that physically attracted to him at first site.
But I still loved him.
We went on a few dates and everytime he became more and more attractive. A month later we moved in together and ended up having a son during the 15 years we spent together.
This is why I know being attracted to someone isn't just physical. His personality was the most attractive to me.
This is how it works for me... If women just went by my picture or a look across the room is still be a virgin lol..
Well I would concider my personality more attractive than my physical appearance. I was always like 20lbs overweight growing up, so I put down a lot. It wasn't until my late teens that I even had someone interested in me. So you develop a better personality when you don't have your looks to depend on. And personally a personality trumps looks in my eyes.
Exactly.. I'm not attractive at all lol.. But i make up for it with body and personality.
My blind dates were usually as a group with friends, the ones who thought we'd be a good match all going together. Sure some times he was so quiet that I felt like I was doing all the talking.
Even so, just enjoyed time the best I could and at the end was polite and said, it was nice to meet you, have a good evening.
IF he did try to ask me out again, then I'd say that I wasn't interested but thank you for asking.
If I was really interested and he didn't ask me out, I'd say. This is fun, we should do this again sometime, if you would like we can.
Often we just became friends and nothing more though.
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I’ve been catfished on dating apps twice. Both girls were much heavier in person then in their pics.
I was still nice to both of them. Fortunately they were cheap dates (one of the many reasons I never do full restaurant dinner on first dates). One was just coffee and the other I made dinner for at my place. I talked them up but obviously didn’t make any moves not show any physical interest. When they followed up later I was honest that I enjoyed chatting with them but wasn’t interested in dating. Just treated them how I would like to be treated.
Now I’ve never catfished anyone before. But I’ve been on dates were the girl didn’t find me attractive and was f*cking rude about it. One cunt said she had to use the bathroom and then ditched me. The conversation wasn’t going well earlier and she was tired from a long hike earlier but still that was really low. She was a grown ass 31 year old woman too.
That’s right, you go in not knowing who you are going to be set up with, but in the hope that the people who set you up, know enough about you or care enough about you to choose someone that is a great person, who you will be compatible wit.
But if that is not the case, then it’s one date, surely you can find things to talk about for say 30mins/1hr and be kind and considerate to that person. I mean you can even joke about the fact you were set up, that you’ve never been on a blind date, that it’s a bit awkward etc. it breaks the ice, and makes things light hearted.
Even if you don’t find them attractive, they are a human being, a person, you don’t find your friends attractive but are kind to them! So treat them like a buddy for the time you spend on the date, thank them for their time, say it was nice meeting them and enjoy the rest of the day/night and goodbye, see you around.
It’s not that hard. Dont think to far ahead or into it.
The way I see it is if the chick turns out to be a straight boogawolf... just because she's not what you were hoping for or expected.. doesn't give either of you grounds to be rude.. hurtful.. or disrespectful in anyway.. just keep it 💯 till you can respectfully pull off the great escape... stay calm be nice and jump on the first thing flying by without hurting her or it's feelings... cause trust me it's a small world people talk... you don't want them all thinking you the asshole... you will never get a good chick with a bad rep...
And just remember that guys complain of girls doing the same to them. I guess what goes around comes around.
https://youtu.be/eb3nqhz5VOU
Yes, blind dating is or can troubling. . I was set up for a blind date, all i knew he would have a white rose in his hand.
I got glammed up and went to the resturant,, I saw this guy , he was about 50, . I like older guys so i thought lets go for it. To my surprise i really enjoyed myself. Admittedly when we got in the car , he gave me the impression that he had provided the food i had to return the favour of my body.
Until this came out i was toying with the idea of having sex , but as i told him, i am not for sale. So i gave him my share if the bill. Got out of the car and went home, in a taxi.
I had just got home, when rung me, groverling to say the least. And begged for a chance to redeem his self. After a little teasing i said yes..
OOOOH, YESSSSS!! We were doing a LOT of sweet talking online when we first met and we set up a date and THEN she sent me her picture!! HOOOLLLLYYYY FUCK!!! She looked like a big, beefy trucker!! Really short hair, kinda chubby, HORRIFIC grimace of a smile!! I don't scare easily but her picture sure did the trick!!
Damn man I think most men who've met girls online have been there but damn it's scary every time
@crossdressingrihno I wouldn't say every time. I've met a lot of girls online and most of them were actually nice people and hardly any were like this one. She WAS a very nice person but, not what I had in mind and it felt a lot to me like she wasn't thrilled, either. I kinda felt like the third wheel on my own date where there WAS only 2 wheels!!
I'm not saying all girls online are like that just that most men who look for chicks online run into one or more of those
@crossdressingrihno Yeah, I guess so. So far, except for some of them being overweight, nearly every one of them that I met online was nice and nearly all of them were pretty.
I used to go on blind dates occasionally when I was much younger and it was fashionable to do this. Some of the dates were really a disaster and quite honestly others wound up being relationships. I would say the one of the most important relationships of my life started with a blind date. Overall it was worth it to me. On a blind date I met somebody that I spent many satisfying and happy years with before she went off the deep end and begin doing things that I just couldn't countenance.
That never happened to me, however had that happened I would hope that I would at least be respectful and try to have a decent time with him all the well knowing it was never going to go any further after this date which would be short, cozy but non sexual.
I've not been on a blind date before, but I would do the same as if a first date with someone turned out to be lousy. I would be pleasant and see the evening out as not to spoil it for them, then I would tell them honestly I would not see them again.
I wouldn't give them false hope.
I think this question should be (Have you ever been "catfished")? I have not. Not because I am some kind of a Jedi master. I have not simply because I don't use dating sites. Yes, I have been on blind dates, but these were set up by people I know and trust! If you use online dating sites chances are at some point you are going to get "catfished". Sorry! It is just how it is today!
You're answering a different question, entirety. This has nothing to do with dating sites or catfishing. It's about BLIND DATES where you weren't shown any pictures of what to expect.
@grapefruit11 No, I don't think I am. More like the same coin different sides. Before the internet, I would be 100% in agreement. The thing is more and more dates are set up on online dating sites. I have sat and listened to hundreds of people both male and female talk about this crap! This was also why in my comment I attempted to separate online dating from a friend you trust setting you up. Generally speaking blind dates set up by common friends you generally don't have this problem.
I knew who I was going with (HS senior prom) , but it was a bummer. Found out I was a "safe" guy and she was "involved with" some a guy in another state, so, yeah, that was not the best evening in my lifetime.
Being the "safe" choice sucks doesn't it...
@Zolly99999 Yup. Someone could have dropped a beachball between us during a slow dance! I shot $6 on her nosegay, too. ;- )
It wasn't a blind date as such - it was from a dating site. But her pic online was an airbrushed professional headshot. I knew this, and didn't expect the reality to match the shot, but was surprised by just how much it differed from her RL appearance, and, as you'd expect, not in a good way.
I would be polite, treat her nice, proceed with the date and attempt to have a good time but I wouldn't extend it. And, when over, tell her, "Thank you for going with me," but I wouldn't call her for another date.
Sure have. I could even see her with the blindfold on! Ok that was stupid, but really I went on a date with a chick that looked nothing like the pics she sent me. Her personality was far less attractive.
I've only been on one blind date. My sister set me up many years ago, before I got married. The date went really well, so well in fact that we ended up making out back at her place, and had a nice summertime romance. It ended when fall arrived.
Ithink I only went on two blind dates. Neither of them were bad looing, we just did not have much in common.
Blind dates are by definition buying the pig in the sack. Otherwise they could show pictures and tell you about them. Never been on a blind date and I probably never will.
i don't go on dates with people where basic physical attraction doesn't exist at the bare minimum level. thats why i never go on blind dates unless I hear that this guy really is IT.
I was never on one, alone cause of the fear of this happening lol but I guess I would just enjoy a nice evening with a friend and then go and never talk again
I mean I’ve been in both ends so when I wasn't the guy’s type I already figures it out by the time I was back home plus he didn’t actually asked me like if I was home safe or smth went and straight up ghosted me afterwards.
when I was the one who didn't feel us vibing I made it clear by mentioning it straight ahead being pretty much forward so yeah its expected that u will either find the other person to be ur type or not.
I haven't been on a blind date. I've been tricked before because of filters or camera angles.
With being tricked, it always ended up as thinking about an exit plan and being polite.
I wouldn't be polite to those type of shenanigans myself.
I haven't but it does sound like it can backfire. Part of the fun, right?
I've been on a few dates where they didn't look like their picture.
I always tried to make the most out of it, you just never know when you might find the one.
Yes, I just kept the date going as normal and he was nice to have a conversation with.
I try to act really unattractive and repulsive to her
Wait, what?
Yea, I don't like to tell people their ugly because I want them to keep their confidence and it can cause a messy situation, so I just make them reject me instead.
@Sparks32 ha lol I kind of use this tactic b4 but I never do blind dates... I would just tell the person from up front I'm not interested, you aren't my type... no explanation needed. I ask, what would I want? To know the truth. It's no problem.
And I always would try to shwo a range of photos, different lighting , mostly natural, never filtered... video chat front camera tends to make me look pale... not my fault so photos are needed.
I've had a mixed bag, some lovely girls and some 6 pinters.
looks is definitely not the only thing i look for.
the way we connect and the chemistry also. why would I date someone with a shitty aditute?
and honestly blind date is kind of silly, dating shouldn't be seen as a game
I was thinking more towards people who have trouble meeting people or who don't know how to break the ice to ask someone out on a date. This would include shy people.
no. i was happy, but i couldn't act on that happiness
Only once. I respected the date but we never went out again.
I'll have a great day with them and don't date them a second time.
Not necessarily a blind date but I was somewhat catfished before. Filters. Damn filters.
Did she have bad skin or bigger face or nose or eyes?
I accepted her the way she was, even though I only saw her face online and she was obese. She later dropped me for certain other reasons.
I would never do a blind date, my biggest pet peeve is surprises & not being told beforehand what im walking into
Finish the date and never call them back. It is just a date!
I will ask, which app you use cause you look different and will have a nice date.
I try to overlook it by being positive but I wasn’t very impressed
No never, how do you even get set up on blind dates?
Yes and her eyes were gorgeous it was a nice evening we even had some pretty raunchy sex
I'd never go on a blind date to be fair.
Let me put a blindfold on you and then you can.
I wouldn't go on such blind dates
Never went on a blind date in my life.
Guess you didn't need one which is great.
I wouldn't even if I needed.
Never even asked a friend to hit on someone for me.
My tactic is "make friends, make yourself available, what ever else comes from that is profit/loss".
Having reasonable standards helps.
My standards are easy to set. My rule is, in any given venue, at least a 5th of all women who are of age should feel hot, to me, ideally 50%. If it's consistently lower, then my physical standards are too high. That's particularly higher than the average male standard, but not so high as to be unattainable.
My personality/behavioral standard is that she should be moral, and that's usually what I try to maximize.
And of course, the great standard of "who's happier to see you" as well. But that tends to match very well with the moral standard.
Wait a minute. You're 42. If you have no one yet maybe you ought to try a blind date.
yeah... i was nice and just played it through
Did you two go golfing?
hahaha no. but I didn't give up on the date and made the most of it
Just wondered because you said you played through.
haha was basically a metaphor
That is why I never go on blind dates
Never went on a blind date
No, never happened to me
Make it an early night.
NNope.
How else do you use your flirting then?
I actually search online or ask if i have to ask to him friends.
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