He's been texting me everyday for a month but not asked me on a date?

[Anonymous]

He (37) has been texting me (24f), initating conversation, making sure it carries on, asking me about my day and making me laugh for a month now.

Why hasn't he asked to see me?

[Carolus]

Because he’s in a relationship or married, a lot of people in relationships and marriages aren’t content and only after some benefit (s) in such relations. You will find a lot of such people on social media acting “single” when they aren’t, it a natural psychological phenomenon. It’s makes themselves feel better about themselves.

[Asker]

But he said he's shown me to his friends and he was on tinder, verified with photos 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Carolus]

Don’t hope for what isn’t. Action speak louder than words. It’s his words, unverified by you. People are good at deceit. If all people were truthful, this world would be a better place. People in relationships or marriages flirt all the time telling a bunch of lies.

[Clsr2thedge]

He might not be looking for a relationship. He might just need someone to fill an emotional/social void in his life. But there's really not enough info for me to give you a better answer.

[Asker]

What else do you need?

[Clsr2thedge]

Like details, have you exchanged pictures, does he put kisses at the end of his messages, do you know much about his life, his job, family etc is he consistent with the tone and content of his messages, is he flirty or just friendly.

[Asker]

I haven't seen many photos of him (he was verified on tinder, we have been texting on WhatsApp). He puts one kiss, sometimes two. He showed his friend a photo of me, he's told me about his job, we actually talked about family trauma last light (he didn't want to talk about his family much as he said it was depressing and switched to being jokey. He asked me about mine though). We make fun of eachother, but he'll never turn the conversation dirty, but when he talks about relationships he always seems deep about it (like about communication, looking after a woman). He did asked me a couple of weeks ago if I've been on any dates and if I mention any guys he always reverts to talking about all the women he gets

[Clsr2thedge]

If he's reserved about sharing too much info, he could be hiding something, like a wife/girlfriend but not necessarily. It seems a little strange to me that you met on tinder and have been talking a lot and he hasn't turned the conversation dirty. It suggests that he doesn't want to move to the next step. This is just based on my experiences and that of friends who've online dated but usually things get a little flirty and suggestive after a couple of weeks. However he does appear to be a bit jealous based on his response to you mentioning guys.

[Asker]

That's what I mean, he got defensive and made a joke when he thought I was putting him in the "friend zone". He texts me all day every day so I highly doubt he has a girlfriend/wife, unless he's turned off his notifications. He doesn't have his online status or read receipts on though. He gives me compliments on the way I look and tried to impress me with material things (which I've told him not to). He's just had surgery on his back though and has been recovering, so maybe that's why

[Asker]

I've also noticed that he's closed off about sex when I mention it, like he'll stop the conversation by saying something like "thanks for letting me know"

[Clsr2thedge]

The lack of online status and read receipts definitely suggests to me that he's hiding something. Maybe not a partner but it's strange behaviour to me. There could be a personal reason why he's closed off about anything sexual but you would have to ask him that.

[Asker]

I try, but he denies it 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Clsr2thedge]

Just my opinion but if he can't be open and honest about something with you now then he's not encouraging trust and it will be difficult to have a meaningful relationship with him

[Asker]

That is very true. Also sometimes I'll see that he's online but he won't reply 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Clsr2thedge]

Well then my honest advice would be to not get your hopes up and just be careful. Nothing wrong with talking to someone if they make you laugh and your having fun but there are some red flags that would put me off taking it further.

[Iron_Man]

You’ll have to wait it out

[Asker]

But why?

[Iron_Man]

Because obviously he’s not ready and you don’t wanna embarrass yourself by asking him out

[Anonymous]

Find someone younger.