Why am I still so nervous around my boyfriend? It’s like I can’t get comfortable at all?

[Anonymous]

I’m a really shy girl, but it’s been like 3/4 months and I’m still intimidated by my boyfriend and not comfortable around him. Why am I still nervous around him? It’s like I can’t get any closer.

He’s extremely extremely attractive to me, so maybe that’s why I’m nervous. He talks clearly and he’s not shy around me at all. But he’s also a bit intimidating and has a serious personality. I feel like I can’t really open up to him, I’m just nervous around him. We also only usually spend twice a week together. He wants the rest of the time to himself but he’s a really logical guy. Is this all because I’m shy? but I’ve def opened up to other people before, I feel like I can’t open up to him at all. Like normally I laugh & smile but I’m really quiet around him and closed off. What’s the deal?

[lightbulb27]

Something inside you is triggered. Scared or vulnerable. Attraction is sub conscious emotional from your past emotionally impactful experiences… somewhat anyways. So what happened back then that would align with him. If it was a controlling angry father… that’s trouble.

[Asker]

Guess what! I’ve got a controlling angry father😁. I’ll have to explore if this is the reason. I agree that I’m triggered though. That’s definitely the word I was looking for…. ugh so weird!

[LaNc3L0TT]

Because you see yourself inferior and you are intimidated by him. Nothing to worry about, like you said he is a bit opposite to you it's not biggy. Just give yourself a bit of time to take that vulnerability fence around you and you are good to go. You need to talk with him about some things that you like, that you do. Go out for a walk, that is good way to build connection between you two.

[Guy__]

As you said about the controlling angry father trigger... Do not leave your boyfriend only because of this. If you run away you'll just end up with the exact same situation again. Work through it.