Whats your opinion on coparenting?

[shaysh87]

when people reach an age where they still haven't found a significant other, they chose to have a child with someone where a romantic relationship doesn't exist. Both individuals share responsibility raising the kids together. whats your opinion?

Yay

Nay

[Anonymous]

A mistake for guys maybe. My brother was coparenting with his ex after they broke up, things were fine until she met a guy then she cut him out of their 3 year olds life, moved away and fought him through the courts. The kid Is 13 now and he's not seem her since she was 3, he's been paying full child support and it's quite a penny because he's a high earner, basically she's getting more a month than most people earn.

[shaysh87]

In a coparenting situation a mother has no reason to exclude the father out of the childs life. This is why its better to have a child out of a platonic rathwr than romantic relationship

[Opinion Owner]

It was coparenting until she decided that this no longer suited her.

[shaysh87]

Like i said romance screws everything. Dont date before having kids

[Opinion Owner]

Again what you suggest could be bad for men...

[shaysh87]

Listen when a guys life is almost over and still doesn't have kids. A lot of them would want to coparent. Sometimes when you have no options ans no longer can afford to wait, you can't be picky

[Opinion Owner]

A lack of pickiness hurts a lot of men

[shaysh87]

If you dont have options, you can't be picky. Unless you want to be single and childless for life. Sorry if this hurts but its the truth

[Flower7]

That seems boring.

[Anonymous]

Only desperate women would do that, because of their biological clock. Kids need loving parents, they need to see love to thrive.

[shaysh87]

Men get desperate too when your life is almost over and you still dont have kids.

[shaysh87]

Kids dont need to see romance to thrive. You can have romance but be shitty parents.

[Opinion Owner]

I'm happy and I don't have kids. I would feel guilty having kids, it's a rotten world for them and I would only have them with a faithful loving girl.

[shaysh87]

Do you realize vast majority of men looking to coparent are in their late 30s or early 40s?

[shaysh87]

Another fact is single women can have kids on their own without a husband. Single men can't have kids without a wife.

[Opinion Owner]

My dad was a single parent when my mother took off. Yes there are many single parents in the world, men and women. You can be one if you want. Some guys do want to take care of some other guy's child if they love the woman. Lots of men are sick of the crap with women and would rather be alone.

[shaysh87]

I think its better to be a single parent than to die a lonely old man with no kids or family. Old people with grown kids tend to be the ones who still have family to care for them or check up on them. If you dont have kids, nobody cares whether you live or die.

[Opinion Owner]

I know women that had kids and the kids took off or they went with the father. People have siblings and friends. I have a cute girl that loves me, I don't need kids. Have kids if you want and see what happens. You think having kids will guarantee they will stick around and check up on you? My mother is screwed , it won't happen for her and she has 3.

[shaysh87]

When you're 45 years old, you won't have many cute girls chasing you. Young cute girls tend to chase young guys under 40. Mens sex appeal decreases with age too.

[shaysh87]

Most kids do check up on their parents.

[shaysh87]

Its hella funny how you think you would have a cute girl who loves you by the time you are 60. There are no cute girls who will be with you by the time you're 60, ok? Unless you're willing to pay her for sex.

[Opinion Owner]

I don't think you understand life. I look younger but some caring women don't care about age. I'm tall and strong and I'm caring. You don't know me, don't make assumptions. I'm not going to argue with you. You want kids, fine, have them. Good luck with that. I'm not going to argue with you anymore. Have kids and have fun, good luck with that. Bye

[shaysh87]

Hunnie, im a young 26 yr old woman and i know what women my age like. You dont have to tell me what i like. Vast majority of Hot young girls tend to like hot young guys. We ain't attracted to 60 yr old senior citizens

[shaysh87]

Hot young girls aren't going into elderly homes or adult daycares to look for dates , ok?

We like guys tall strong and handsome with a full head of hair. Not some old 45 yr old guy suffering from hairloss , weight gain, saggy balls, erectile dysfunction.

[UniquelyBasic]

Seems pretty desperate

[ArtemisSilver]

Is it really that hard to find a relationship?

[shaysh87]

not every woman that you are in a relationship with, will want your baby. understand that.

[ArtemisSilver]

What does that have to do with either of the above questions? Points for aggression though 👍

[shaysh87]

because finding a relationship really isn't the answer to having a child. i don't know why you brought that up in the first place

[ArtemisSilver]

You specifically said that co-parenting is an option for when you can't find a relationship. So which is it?

[shaysh87]

coparenting leads to children. relationships do not necessarily lead to children. when you're in a relationship, you don't necessarily want to have kids or commit to that person

[ArtemisSilver]

Do whatever you want as long as the parents both love the child. Kids need love to thrive.

[shaysh87]

i don't understand what as so difficult about this question.

[ArtemisSilver]

Have you thought about being tested for autism and other genetic defects before you try to reproduce?

You seem to have some kind of malfunction going on. It'd be cruel to pass something like that on. I don't know, maybe you just need therapy. GL to you 👍

[shaysh87]

there will always be risk of autism or down syndrome in every birth. there is no such thing as having absolutely no risk.

[Flower7]

@artemissilver Yes, finding a relationship is definitely hard! Especially a good one.

[ArtemisSilver]

¯\_ʘ‿ʘ_/¯ Orly?

[iamanegg]

It depends on luck and circumstance. Some people don't want a relationship for various reasons.

Also some people are in mutually satisfying relationships and then find out one of them is infertile or they are both fertile but not with each other. A colleague of mine was happily married for 16 years (married straight after university at 21) neither of them wanted children. Then his wife changed her mind out of the blue and left.

You know life happens.

Also: this is a BIG one. Being in love does NOT guarantee being compatible in parenting. Recently some statistics came out listing the top eight reasons for separation divorce in the past 10 years (percentage wise) .

1) finance and household management 2) differing parenting styles 3) drifting apart/falling out of love 4) inability to spend enough time together as a couple (often those in travel for work/high powered professions). I can't remember the other 4.

This shows there is a HUGE advantage to intentional parenting. Finance and household management are not an issue when you have separate finances, live next or opposite each other rather than together, you agree to parenting style in the discussion stage, you can't drift apart/fall out of love when you didn't fall into it in the first place and spending romantic time is irrelevant since you are not in a romantic relationship.

I have a friend and an acquaintance in this setup. They love it! They say it makes for clearer more honest communication due to the absence of romance drama, more egalitarian parenting participation, less stress as you are not balancing roles of a parent and partner and more free time for each parent.

The child has a two parents they can easily access, two parent who get along and are respectful to each other and who both support them financially and emotionally.

It's great!

[Jamie05rhs]

Hmm... Could be worse, I suppose.

[jahaims]

Not fair to the kids