Marriage or cohabitation?

[OneNisa]

Hi, people all over the world get married someday. Do you think it's more sensible to live together by getting married, or to continue their lives by simply living together?

[sawno]

Cohabitation all the way. The marriage system is broken and leaves the guy blackmailable. Many of us won't risk that without a really good reason even though we would gladly stay the rest of our lives. There isn't anything in it for us unless its needed for stuff like a long distance relationship. She can still leave whenever she wants and if she does we are the ones getting screwed. Meanwhile we can't leave because then we get screwed. Thats a toxic dynamic. Fix the laws around marriage to where if anyone leaves trough no fault of the other they are the ones having to pay and you will find a lot more men willing to marry again.

[OneNisa]

Absolutely right, marriage necessarily requires you to be tied to one place, and both the law and the obligation imposed by the man restrict the woman's freedom. People living together can say goodbye and separate whenever they want. I agree with your point of view.

[sawno]

The issue is that in western countries like the US this isn't true. She can still say goodbye whenever she wants but the guy then has to pay her for leaving. Thats why its unfair and why guys don't want to do it.

In other countries it may make more sense. And if it was harder to leave each other in a balanced way i'd be willing to go for that. I like the convept of marriage I just don't like the implementation.

[OneNisa]

Every country has its own laws, and people have to abide by them. In my country, cohabitation is legally prohibited, but there are people who do it secretly.

[DonaldDarko]

Marriage is a way to ad some weight to the relationship by bringing the attention of the rest of society to it. This is to give it cohesion "what will everyone think if we split up". This only works if you have a society that values the institution. If you have a society that doesn't care much if you do split up then the institution of marriage loses it's power to do much of anything. There are legal pressures but mostly on the man. Most divorce is initiated by the woman in a marriage.

[jennifer_bloom]

I believe one major reason the bible wants you to marry before you move in together is that marriage means you will not create this living arrangement with more than on person in your life time. Writers like Moses and others like Ben Sira permitted divorce in abusive or treacherous marriages, but the ideal situation is you marry one person and do not part until death. The marriage reduces the chances you will cohabit with more than one person in your life time.

[NoDecision]

If you are just living together I don't think you are putting your heart into your marriage, simply because they make it too easy for you to give up and get a divorce.

[MisterPandemonium]

@nodecision But ending a marriage is pretty easy these days, isn't it?

[Nikki1989]

What’s sensible depends on the couple, their values, and what they want their life to look like. People who truly love each other want to become married. You can't convince me otherwise.

[slatyb]

Yes, but not all people get married. Marriage is a legal contract with advantages and disadvantages. It's easy to enter but can be expensive to end. Consider it carefully before filing the license.

[HighValue]

Marriage is mostly just for women thieves that want to steal from and abuse men. It only benefits the woman and harms the man.

[dudeinohio]

Either works as far as I'm concerned. It's all just what you want.

[Hagar88]

Marraige. I've done the whole cohabitation thing.

[RandomGirl42]

Marriage is a state of being not a piece of paper. You can't make love legal. It just is.

[Staximus]

I think it's better to live together before getting married. What if they leave the cap off the toothpaste every morning or something like that

[Alex-Snow]

I would like to cohabitate first and see how it goes.

[I_am_a_human]

Cohabitation is more appealing to me. Marriage is more risky.

[In_Trance]

That depends on your belief in the Church and the State

[Anonymous]

Nope. For one thing, common law marriage is a thing.

[queenofcardio]

I'd prefer marriage

[WonderingManII]

Marriage is a religious thing.