I really need advice?

[Anonymous]

I got this guys snap maybe a month ago on a trip with all people of my year. We’re been snapping back and forth. We don’t go to the same school so It’s kinda hard to get to know each other. Me and my friend planned a date with him and I this Saturday which he came to. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t like me like that, but if not I wanna be his friend. He has always ghosted me a little but before our date he rarely ghosted. However, after our date he ghosts more, and he turns on ghost mode at school and at night. Is there any specific reason for that? I really want to invite him to my birthday which I’ll be celebrating on a beach with very few people + one of his friends. I want to get to know him better, but I need to convince him somehow. My friend, she asked him today about the birthday thing, but we haven’t gotten a response yet. I really need advice here.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Lets start with the cold hard truth.

I'm really sorry, but you don't disappear from someone you care about, which leads me to believe he doesn't care about you.

My advice is don't invite him or you'll be setting yourself up for a let down, and on your birthday on a beach which sounds wonderful by the way. Do you really want that?

[Asker]

I probably shouldn’t invite him then. The thing is, I’m quite close to giving up, but I want to try before I do. Would there be anyway? Cause at the date he was really kind but I guess he made the excuse to leave early.

[TommyMountainFigure]

IF you want to give it another try to know for certain then ok do so, but don't try it out on your birthday. You want to be able to look back with fond memories of that occasion. If he louses it up by upsetting you you'll never forgive yourself.

[Asker]

I get what you’re trying to say and I should be listening to you, but I really like him and I want to maybe look better on my birthday which might want him to at least be my friend. On the date we found out that we shared a lot of the same interest which I found really cool. He was really kind, we didn’t talk like we were best friends or anything but he was able to pull a quick conversation. I am really hoping it works so do you know any other time I could maybe get to know him? Also do you know what’s up with the ghost mode at school and at night?

[TommyMountainFigure]

The whole ghosting thing.. He's avoiding you BUT I already know I'm flogging a dead horse here. Your mind is made up, and I get it, I honestly get it. I too was young once and had to make my own mistakes. I tell you what. Do me a favour k? Make sure you are prepared fully for him letting you down. Get into that mindset, so it doesn't sting as much if I'm right.

[Asker]

Yeah, I’ll try get that mindset. I don’t know, I just really like him, and I mean a lot. Depending on if he comes or not I’ll try to be prepared. I think hearing he won’t come will hurt the most to be honest.

[TommyMountainFigure]

That is what I was trying to protect you from.

[Asker]

I see

[TommyMountainFigure]

What do your parents think you should do?

[Asker]

Well, I talked to my mother about it and she thinks he isn’t that interested, but I haven’t talked so much to her about that yet.

[TommyMountainFigure]

I'm willing to bet she'll say same as me

[Asker]

Probably. Although, I really want to give up on him I can’t.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Well yes.. actually you can. You're not 18 yet but it doesn't mean you can't take positive control of your life. If you want to you could sit yourself down. Tell yourself "What would I tell my best friend to do if she was in my shoes?" And then take that same advice.. It will make you a stronger person for it.. It also makes you demand respect from other guys in future. So don't for a second say you can't.. Your life is yours to control.. nobody else's.

[HelloSofi97]

Sounds like he’s not interested. If he were, he’d be making a little more effort to reciprocate the attention you’re giving him. Give him space and leave him alone.

[Asker]

I probably will, but would there be anyway I could try to get to know him better?

[Asker]

Like would I have to leave him for good or would there be another chance in the future?

[HelloSofi97]

You’ll have a chance only if you step back and give him space. You need to let him come to you now and if he doesn’t…he ain’t the one for you.