Should I do it, if he's married?

[Anonymous]

Met a guy who works at a shop i visit daily. For the past month he has been super friendly and flirty. After a search online turns out he is married, which explains why he hasn't crossed the line or asked me out. I am an HR manager and I want to hire someone friendly for reception as my employee... I know he is married, should that stop me from offering him the position?

[In_Trance]

Hiring or not hiring due to marital status is discrimination or favoritism; you put yourself and the company at risk when you make decisions like this. But you know that because you work in HR.

What are you actually asking here?

[OlderAndWiser]

Would you offer him this position if you didn't have the hots for him?

[Asker]

He is super friendly to everyone not just me, so he is a good candidate regardless... but I think the fact that like him helps haha

[Asker]

He might not even accept the position, even if I offered it

[OlderAndWiser]

He may not, but if he does, then do your feelings for him influence the decisions that you make/actions that you take. If another HR manager came to you for advice on this situation, what would you tell them?

This barista is really in your head, isn't he?

[Asker]

Yes he is!!! I am not sure why, I just felt a spark and although I have other guys in my life who are sweet and have potential, this guy is on my mind. At this rate I would want to give him the opportunity, and if he doesn't want it, then I know I have done my best to at least keep in touch as friends or potential business contacts and he is not interested. I feel like I want to put the ball in his court. He has never crossed the line and asked me out or asked for my number, so he has been respectful.

[OlderAndWiser]

Yes, but your fantasy is for something more to happen, right?

[Asker]

Sure, I am not expecting anything serious, and even if it is just flirting it'll be fun. I guess my feelings are that if I give him an opportunity to work in a setting where I am and where he can get to know me, and he declines then ill understand that the feelings I have are not mutual, and then ill be able to stop thinking about him and move on. He is limited to what he can do, ashe is being respectful towards his marriage.

[OlderAndWiser]

This sounds like flirting with danger. If you proceed and he accepts, hindsight may suggest that it was a mistake. Suppose he leaves his wife and is interested in you. You are in a supervisory position. What are the potential problems that could arise from a supervisor dating a co-worker?

[Asker]

I work for a small company so they're not too worried about people dating... I doubt that he will even accept as he is going to school for nursing which is most definitely a different career path than the company I work for. I guess I want to put the offer on the table and leave it with him, if he wants to pursue he will, if not then I have my answer

[OlderAndWiser]

Be careful! Good luck!

[Asker]

Thanks for your help!!!

[OlderAndWiser]

Thanks for MHO!

[AssholeNumberOne]

No one has to deny someone a better position just so they don't get accused of flirting. As long as you treat his marriage with respect, you'll have nothing to feel guilty about at all.

[Asker]

Thanks!

[AssholeNumberOne]

Yw. :)

[2facedfa1ry]

hire him if you think he's good but don't cheat with him

[exitseven]

As long as you keep it professional there is no problem.

[clemdenim]

If he needs the job, offer it