Guy suggested second date but is too busy?

[LucyG]

Hi everyone, I have recently met a guy. I approached him and we exchanged numbers, soon after he suggested going out for a date to get to know each other. We had a lovely and fun first catch up, no awkward silences, lots to talk and laugh about, simply put: we had a really good time. We had lots of eye contact, smiled the whole time, he even made excuses to touch me or be near me. During the date there were multiple situations in which I thought he’d kiss me, but it hasn‘t happened yet. Before we separated that day, he suggested going out for a second date some time soon to which I happily agreed. I know from what he told me that he is a very busy guy, having practice every night and working twice a week, added to that studying (we are college students). I know that it can get a lot. One week after our date he apologised for not reaching out to me but he was too busy. We planned catching up the following week but very spontaneously he texted me to tell me that he had had to cancel all his plans as lots of things had come up and he’s struggling to manage all at once. He sincerely apologised multiple times, so I responded understandingly and told him to reach out once he’s got the time. It‘s been 5 weeks since our first date now, two weeks since his last text. We don‘t text in between dates which makes this whole situation quite frustrating. He told me on the date that he’s not into texting and explained why, and I understood. But I feel like I’ve been ghosted. Should I be just be patient or forget about him? I don’t want to get strung along, yet I do feel like he is a genuine and honest guy, and he did seem to like me quite a bit.
Anyone’s got advice? Thanks 🙏🏼

[hahahmm]

Guys are naturally hunters. If a guy is really into you he will make the first move. Even a shy guy. A really shy guy just hasn't met the right woman yet. When he does he's suddenly not shy. I know cause I was like that. When you make the first move (as a woman) you are getting in the way of the natural stuff and making it too easy. So even when he says, 'yes' it also means that he will be easily distracted cause you were just 'free' and took zero effort on his part. It's not the same thing as if a guy makes the first move. I'm not saying I agree with women who play hard to get tho. Once he makes the first move there should be back & forth. Not a one sided thing.

Anyhow, unless you know he has a job where he's working 60-80 hours/week he's taken too long to get back to you. If he really wanted you he would be hitting you with text messages even if he hates texting. That would be true at least until after he feels the relationship is at a point where he doesn't have to worry about competition. in my opinion.

[hahahmm]

So from my POV as a traditional dude, it is your job to be attractive enough that you don't need to make the 1st move. Yeah, that also means there will be guys you're interested in who sho no interest in you. Don't sweat it. It's just the flip side of a guy asking a woman out & she rejects him. Except you don't even have to go through any humiliation/public shame of a hostile rejection or whatever.

[hahahmm]

And by "attractive" I'm not just talking about looks but character. You could be average looking but have the right character to attract the guy you want.

[Nawlins34]

He sounds genuine, he's realistic.

I think you like him and that's not an issue. Even with his self-awareness, this doesn't look good.

I think the best course of action here is to split the decision. Tell him how you feel and that you see he's definitely busy. Make sure he knows that whenever he's up for that 2nd date, you're definitely interested and leave it at that.

When a guy wants something, he'll make the time.

In the meanwhile, you live your life. Let it go because at this point, you're practically going on the 1st date all over again if he comes back.

I hope I've helped. Be safe and good luck.

[LucyG]

Thank you! Yes your answer has helped a lot. I did exactly that - replied understandingly and letting him know that he can text me once he’s free and is Stille interested, because I am. Now it’s on him to reach out.
I do feel the same about him being genuine and simply realistic. I’ll keep you updated. :)

[MedAsianGirl]

No texts for 2 weeks sounds like a long time. I’d still text him to see if he’s still interested in going on a date. If he ignores the text, I’d move on.

[Anonymous]

He's not interested. He's just saying he's busy to let you down easy instead of telling you the truth.

[loveslongnails]

You are a beautiful girl, and you seem really thoughtful and sincere. If a guy really likes you, he FINDS TIME to be with you. The profuse apologies would have meant something if he followed up on them, but after 2 weeks of no contact and 5 weeks since the initial date, this guy is mostly gone. And if he's really THAT busy, you're never going to be a priority to him anyway, even though he seems quite genuine. IF it turns out that he really is overwhelmed yet he really does want you, he'll find you again when he's ready. Maybe you'll be available, maybe not, but you can't wait on him.

[TheMajesticKing777]

Give him some time in case he really is busy and he's just struggling with the time, don't wait too long tho if it's taking too long.

[Avicenna]

He's probably got another woman or women and didn't want to hurt your feelings (a lot of people are bad when it comes to turning someone down).

[LiamSawyer]

If I were him I'd do whatever I had to do to make the time to take a beauty like you out again.

[Slim57]

He's not interested, even if he's busy, that much time of not communicating back with means he may like you a little but doesn't like you enough to make time for you, even just to talk

[Alex8736]

Unless he is a brain surgeon nobody is too busy. When you first started talking was he too busy then?

[Wise4myage]

With your looks? He's a fool. Move on to better things.

[Anonymous]

Regardless of whatever he's doing or not, it's not working for you.

[Anonym455443]

hey, im in the same situation. how did it end?

[In_Trance]

He's not interested. Move on

[Anonymous]

You were the one that approached him?

[LucyG]

Yes I was. He was the one suggesting the first and second date though.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah because girls normally don't approach guys

[LucyG]

Well, nowadays they do. It’s not as big of a deal anymore, but sure it’s not as common as the other way around. He actually reacted quite positive to it and even picked that topic up again on our date. He usually doesn’t approach girls - he did once and it made him feel awkward and weird, so in order to avoid rejection, as he told me, he usually doesn’t make the first move on girls anymore.

[Opinion Owner]

Interesting

[hahahmm]

@LucyG You say "it's not a big of a deal anymore". There's an old saying that if you behave like everyone else you will end up in the same place they end up. There's more unhappy women today than ever before (according to surveys). There's more broken marriages and people stuck in a never ending cycle of bad relationships than ever before. If you want that outcome then just believe that the majority know what they're doing & that you should do the same thing. Otherwise, consider my answer to your Q.

[Opinion Owner]

It still seems or feels very rare for a girl to approach a guy