Should I move on?

[Anonymous]

My ex broke up with me about two weeks ago, because he was unhappy. But he still talks to me several times a week and
Takes me out on dates, or I guess spends time with me. And yes we are still intimate and he is not pulling out…. I’m not sure why he would leave me and then finish inside of me multiple times… he left me because i gained weight and he’s told me he’s not like attracted to me. But he always ignites sex with me and he has a bonnet all the time around me. we were together for 12 years. So I’m alittle confused and it may be obvious to others but not me at this time. I just want to know like do you guys think there is a chance he will take me back? When I lose the weight? I love this man and it’s very hard for me to let go but I rather let go now before I’m hurt again..

[queenfreddie]

He’s trash and he’s using you. I know that hurts, but it definitely seems like the truth. He’s using you to fulfill his sexual and romantic desires but I’m sure if you did some digging such as going through his phone, you’d probably find him attempting to meet up with other girls through Tinder or something similar. It’s probably partially that, and the fact that is most likely is difficult to let you go.


If he loved you in the right way, he would stay with you and try to fix it. He could exercise with you or diet with you, but instead he just chose to dump you. If my boyfriend gained weight, I’d still love him regardless. If I wanted it to change, I would approach it in a healthy, positive manner.


So not only did he dump you for a ridiculous reason, but he’s continuing to hurt you and abuse your feelings by giving you the affection from him you crave but no clarity on where your relationship is at. He probably still does have love for you, but you have to ask yourself if that’s the kind of love you want. A man who breaks up with you because you gained weight? Screw him. You deserve way better than that. I would lose him and become the most confident, happy, comfortable version of myself and move on to someone who is worthy of me and my time.

[TommyMountainFigure]

So if I understand you correctly, he broke up with you but remains in the same type of relationship he was in with you before the break up.. The only difference is he told you he's breaking up with you and he wants you to lose weight? AND if that is right you want to know how to get him back?

I think you now have incentive to lose the weight, but not only that, I think after you lose the weight and felt more confident in yourself, you'll believe you can do much better than stay with a guy who dumps you because you put on weight.

[Asker]

Thankyou, for the encouragement. I can see what ur saying and it’s not right for him to leave me for that. I just caint seem to grasp the concept of it’s over. Cuz he’s confusing to me, and mainly cuz if he gets me pregnant how can I lose weight… I feel like an idiot even asking for advice

[TommyMountainFigure]

I assure you, I don't see you as an idiot. Dumping a person because of their weight is a nasty thing to do to someone they are supposed to be in love with, because 9 times out of 10 a person's confidence level has to do with their weight in the first place.
If you want, I can help you lose weight.

[TommyMountainFigure]

I can set up a diet sheet and exercise regime for you to follow.. if you're interested

[Asker]

Yeah I might take you up on the offer Thankyou

[TommyMountainFigure]

My pleasure.. Whenever you're ready, I'm very easy to find on here.

[OlderAndWiser]

You aren't broken up. You are just playing that silly break up game where you act hurt and tell everybody that you broke but you still go on dates and have sex.

It takes more than infatuation/addiction/love to make a good long term relatinship work. He says he's not even attracted to you now. So you lose weight, "get back together," get pregnant, gain weight, and there he goes again! And now you have a baby to deal with. Is THAT what you really want?

[Asker]

No it’s not but if he wants to have a baby with me and be with me I don’t want to give up on us. I’m not playing a game I’m just confused

[OlderAndWiser]

When you say that you are broken up but you are still having sex, you are playing a silly game with yourself.

[Asker]

What game am I playing with myself?

[OlderAndWiser]

You are acting as if you have broken up. People don't continue to go on dates and have sex with each other when they REALLY break up.

[Asker]

He told me it was over and he didn’t want a future with me. But he’s doing all of this… if I told him we were still together I mean he would be mad he calls me his best friend now

[OlderAndWiser]

Why do you stay with a guy who says he doesn't want to be wth you because he is not attracted?

[Asker]

I think ur not understanding I’m not with him

[OlderAndWiser]

No, you are still having sex with him. You are simply not wanting to admit that you are still together.

[Asker]

He broke up with me

[Asker]

I’d be crazy to think we are still together

[OlderAndWiser]

Still having sex?

[Asker]

Yes we are but it dosnt mean anything

[OlderAndWiser]

So you will have sex with any guy who comes along and offers to have sex with you?

[Asker]

No not at all I just still have feelings and this is probably not the best idea but having sex with him makes me happy

[Asker]

I don’t open up to people easily so I still have a connection with him

[OlderAndWiser]

I'll bet that everyone else on this site will say that you are not really broken up with him. If you ask.

[Asker]

No like he made it clear he dosnt want anything with me. And actually he just told me he started having sex with another girl two weeks ago.

[OlderAndWiser]

And you are still having sex with him. Do you have ANY self respect?

[Asker]

I just found out this today

[Asker]

I’m not going to continue a sexual relationship with him moving forward

[OlderAndWiser]

Good plan!

[Asker]

Thankyou.. lol

[AviatorTom]

You're still going out on dates and having sex... he's not your ex, he's your current.

[Asker]

Yes he says otherwise tho

[Guy13]

Yes, move on.

[Asker]

I’m afraid to go no contact, I guess because I’m afraid to lose him completely. Do you think he’s using me?