He only talks online, and doesn’t want to meet me in real life? I’ve known him since high school, but recently?

[Anonymous]

Reconnected after 5yrs. we just spoke as friends although we have always been flirty/had feelings? anyway, majority of our communication was via messenger, we talk almost daily, never on the phone unless I’m drunk & phone him, though he would often send voice notes. we became close again, we spoke of feelings, sexual attraction, he tells me how much I mean to him, how he respects me, cares for me, values me, in the past the conversation has turned sexual, we have exchanged photos & videos. yet he won’t let anything happen between us in real life & just wants an online relationship. he says he respects me too much to sleep with me & will never meet me alone. i have met him a handful of times of the years,& he will only invite me out to see him if there is a large group of his friends also attending. more often than not, I will create scenarios where we are alone together, or give him the opportunity to to meet me alone, but he will ignore my messages & then message in the morning as normal the last time we met was 6 months ago on a night put in a bar. this was the only time he’s ever showed me any real affection, he hugged me, kissed my head, held my hand, but all whilst in the company of his friends. in the least big headed way, I’m not unattractive, so I’m not sure if he’s just keeping me around as an ego boost to make himself look & feel gd. i have since told him to leave me alone, which he has. from a males point of view what I am to him? i told him I loved him, he didn’t say it bk bt said he cares for me & likes me as more than a friend yet he never wants to see me,& will be happy to never see me again, but wants to continue this friendship online. He says all the right things, but his actions doesn’t match. Why would you talk to someone so much for 5 years if you didn’t like them like that?

[Nawlins34]

"Why would you talk to someone so much for 5 years if you didn’t like them like that?" - There are a number of reasons this could happen, one could simply be - He doesn't know what the hell he wants. We can infer that based on his words not matching his actions, beyond that, we're speculating.

The only consistency here is he's inconsistent and you enabling him to do so.
I don't know him like you do, but none of his value can erase the fact that he's wasting your time.

Also, be careful what you ask for - you're assuming a declaration of love or meeting in person and being present will provide clarity; it doesn't.

Be safe and good luck.

[Anonymous]

Don't waste your time on that guy.

[D_Bone_Steak]

How far in life have you fallen if you even give a shit about a guy you haven't met face to face in 5 years? Him too, what the fuck is wrong with both of you? You're both fat now huh? I'm just being real you both sound... um... not all that great. Not trying to be a dick but... it sounds like how it sounds to be honest. I actually feel really fucking sorry for you.

[Asker]

Umm no if you read it correctly I last saw him 6 months ago…. We have both gone about our own life during the 5 years and yes had friends and partners etc, I have children and so does he. No I’m not ugly and fat and neither is he, I’m pretty attractive tbh! And have never had a problem finding a man, expect the one I actually want doesn’t seem to want me, your comment wasn’t very helpful and you seem rather dumb.

[Iron_Man]

That’s a horrible huge waste of time a fake online Fairytale and I can’t believe you’ve already known him in high school in person before all of this get the heck out of there you could’ve been married by now with kids

[Asker]

Thanks. My life hasn’t been on hold for him 🤣 I have been in and our of relationships the same as him, we’ve just always been friends, which felt like it could progress into something else, he agreed but never seemed to actually want it too.

[Iron_Man]

Don’t give him another thought just use him as a penpal email buddy and that’s about it get on with your life

[Guy13]

It seems like he has moved on.

[Guy13]

It is probably time for you to move on too. It’s like a death to family member.

[Asker]

Yes. I’ve asked him to leave me alone after recently not coming to see me when I’ve asked, which sounds controlling but we speak daily, I haven’t saw him in 6 motnhs, he says how close we are yet I’m never allowed to have him in real life. I’m not talking about anything sexual, I just wanted to spend genuine time with him. He partly agreed during the day then went silent on the night, left me? Him on if he was going to turn up, then messaged in the morning asking if I had a good night!!! To which I told him to leave me alone and to never message me again. My theory is he will for a few weeks, then he’ll return and try to kickstart the online friendship. But why? Why does he only want me online and not in real life.

[Avicenna]

Sounds like he isn’t single

[Asker]

I haven wondered this, he has two children with the same woman. One is 6 so was around 1 when we got back in contact, apparently they had split up, and he’s since had another who is 1! With the same woman, he said it was a drunk one of sexual encounter, and they aren’t involved like that usually. Though he or she doesn’t have any kind of social media, so I can’t see for sure if they are both single. If he was still in a relationship with her, and has been all this time, why would he have been speaking to me for the past 5 years? I just want to know what I am to him.

[Avicenna]

Well, that’s a good question. I think you should spend your time on a guy who‘s single and really wants to be with you.

[Straight2thepoint]

Damn... I'm curious 🤔. How do you look?