Boyfriend insults me and calls it joking. Am I unreasonable for being hurt?

[Anonymous]

I (28f) told him (28m) before that his words and insults can be pretty degrading even when he means it as teasing. He told me it was part of his dark humor and he would try to improve. Today he was talking about how half of the population was part of the below average intelligence category. Then he said "Are you listening? Maybe you are part of the below average intelligence group." I laughed and called him a dickhead. Then he just kept talking. I went home today after we spent the day together and realized it hurt and cried. Tomorrow I meet two of his bestfriends who he calls "smart" and I can't seem to shake that he called me dumb. Am I being overly sensitive?

[Smoke-n-Growls]

If you express hurt and discomfort, he should immediately stop what he's doing.

That he doesn't shows he's only going to get worse. Because you're allowing him to disrespect, hurt, and trample all over you and your feelings.

Draw the hard line, and leave him if he won't respect it.

It isn't normal, healthy, or acceptable for him to insult you. They're not jokes if they hurt your feelings. And why are you with someone who not only doesn't care about hurting your feelings, but GASLIGHTS you about it?

Leave him, and find someone more like you deserve - someone who will respect, listen, and understand you.

[LazerBean]

Negative people are a pain in the ass and useless for relationships. I would have stopped seeing him as soon as I foung out his "humor" is just insulting people.

[Honesttguy]

Wow i make similar jokes.
It only hurts cus you yourself think your below avarage IQ.
When u know your smart, jokes like these are funny, to me it seemed funny enough, cus i know where i stand. You obviosly dont know where u stand on this and thus took it the wrong way.
Dont take my explanation the wrong way pls. Just trying to clarify it for you.

[Asker]

Thanks for your input. Can I have your input on a situation with the same boyfriend? He and I (28f) have been together for 7 months. We are on vacation and I have never seen him so friendly to young waitresses. Today a waitress came to our table and introduced herself. "Hello, I'll be your server for today. My name is Paige." My boyfriend replied with "What was that? Paige you say is your name?" After he got her name he said "Got it, Paige." He was really open to communicating with her and when the waitress is unattractive he usually ignores them. When they are cute, he usually talks to them with heavy eye contact, thanks them frequently, and helps clear the table. Is he flirting?

[Honesttguy]

Sounds likes he's in a good mood on vacation that you guys are on. Why not share positive vibing with other people around you? Obviosly cute waitress can put him in more flirty mood it helps with positive vibing. Stop stressing yourself so much learn to be more relaxed about things. Ofc if you guys dont trust each other then it doesn't matter what he does its just matter of trust then. Dont you trust him?

[Anonymous]

Let him know it's hurting your feelings. Regardless if sensitive or not, he should be respecting that and because he CARES about you, wouldn't do it or limit it. But he also needs to know how you feel first. And if that doesn't work, try giving it back to him and see how he likes it lol. Maybe he'll "get it" then?

[boggboss]

Personally I woudl say yes but ig u made it clear u don't find it funny then he is being a asshole as your humour just don't match up

[Asker]

Thanks for your input. Can I have your input on a situation with the same boyfriend? He and I have been together for 7 months. We are on vacation and I have never seen him so friendly to young waitresses. Today a waitress came to our table and introduced herself. "Hello, I'll be your server for today. My name is Paige." My boyfriend replied with "What was that? Paige you say is your name?" After he got her name he said "Got it, Paige." He was really open to communicating with her and when the waitress is unattractive he usually ignores them. When they are cute, he usually talks to them with heavy eye contact, thanks them frequently, and helps clear the table. Is he flirting?

[boggboss]

I wouldn't say its flirting people tend to be nicer to people that look good

[Asker]

So the part when he asked her to repeat her name was that flirting?

[boggboss]

No I wouldn't say that was flirting personally

[Asker]

Why would he ask for her name?

[boggboss]

Basic conversation can make the evening better for everyone

[slatyb]

No, that’s passive aggressive gaslighting. It’s abusive. DTMFA.