How long should I make him wait before I go on a date with him so he knows I date only to marry? (Page 2)
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I don’t think a healthy relationship with an equal begins with me playing silly games and jumping through hoops like a circus animal. I’ve asked why women who’ve turned me down for a date get jealous when they see me flirting with someone else. I was told “She wanted me to try harder.” I thought “No means no.” She said “No.”
Maybe he has serious intentions and you will lose him because you kept saying no.
Yes make him wait. Dont jump into sex or even sexting. Its really to see someone dating to marry. I date to see if she's my potential girlfriend and further my wife. Dating is a hobby nowadays, it should be a priority. See how long does he holds back. If he holds back for a long time and is genuine, he's your potential husband
Why do you date only to marry? Dating is a fun part of your life where you learn about other people and yourself. Most people don't date only to marry. They date because it's a good thing to do and, sometimes, that fun turns into something deeper.
Um, marriage is the entire POINT. If you're not in it to win it, what are you even doing? You're spinning your wheels.
@Jamie05rhs I disagree with that. I went on dates with women I wasn't sure about. But after going out and having a great tine it was well worth the time, and it blossomed from there. So don't act like guys don't think sex isn't apart of dating process. I don't think @AviatorTom was saying to date just for fun or sex and not to be serious about it.
I think he was saying to have an open mind about the possibilities that are out there, go have fun and let things run its course. I dealt with women that said they only date with intention of getting married, or only wanted serious commitment. It was a turn off, and honestly I never asked them out, when I would have
Regardless what any one says... dating only works one way. You meet someone you got out with good intentions and just see where it leads. You chat about it for days and weeks and it kills the spontaneous nature and fun... by the time you get to the first there's been so much expectation put on it that suchs the air out of the room.
@DaveJord "Letting things run their course" is how you end up with an indecisive woman.
She'll hit her midlife crisis around age 35 and she'll become a completely different person and randomly divorce you without warning.
@Jamie05rhs Nah, every relationship moves at its own pace you can't force it to move faster or slower. When it happens the way it is supposed to things just move at its own pace naturally. If you haven't experienced that with someone, then I can not explain it to you or make you understand it.
You are correct though people do change over time, and sometimes that means they out grow you, or you them... this happens as well and yup its part of the natural process and it sucks. This happened to me, but honestly I was a young man and i was pushing too hard to make it happen because i got her pregnant. So when it ended it was it actually was a blessing because I traded up and found some one that really makes me happy.
@DaveJord I'm not saying I want thing to move faster. I have absolutely no problem with taking things slow. That's actually my style as well, actually. I like it slow.
things
You could always set “date to marry“ on your bio to save time. But from personal view, you'll never know what's going to happen. So just take a chance, go out on dates and be safe.
Maybe you'll find the one, maybe he finds you
That is a good idea
(rolling eyes), if he avoided a date with you (thinking this way), what would you think? You'd think he wasn't interested in you right? No different here. It's not a question of TIME, but COMMUNICATION!!! You ask/tell him what your dating/long term relationship goals are and find out if you're on the same page or not.
You shouldn't. That's a really dumb thing to do. If you're interested in the guy, go out with him. You don't need to "signal" that you're not going to have sex. Just don't have sex. It's as simple as keeping your pants on. Really not hard at all.
I don't think you should wait. Waiting won't actually make a difference as to how he sees you, it's more to do with how well you two mesh with each other. The only thing I would wait to have is sex.
You hold off on dating and he'll see if other girls he find attractive feel the same. If they like him as well and are willing to date him, he'll date them. Hold off on sex or kissing, but date him if you want to. He may not be the one, the reason you date is to find the one.
In my opinion, you are too old to be playing these strange games. Soon nobody will be interested in even chatting with you. If you truthfully want marriage, it's time to test out those privates. Maybe you'll learn you aren't even into men.
Uhm... Why can't you out of the blue say that?
You would waste both of your time pretending like you're gonna give in only to drop the bomb on him once you feel he's committed?
If it hasn't accurd to you you're just using him if that's how you reason and any man in such a situation should just walk away since the alternative is marriage to somone who will view the dynamics of their relationship as a longterm manipulation.
Dont wait to go on a date. Go and see how the vibe is. If he wants sex and you don’t, then tell him. Expectations will always differ to some degree so speak up and don’t just wait. What are your boundaries on a first date?
Holding hands
Then let him know that’s how far you are willing to go. If he tries more just say no
How have your dates been in the past, did you get to hold hands?
I have never been on any date before?
Okay
Do not wait.
If you like him go on a date.
On the date you can tell him about your values and goals.
No I don't think there is an expectation of a kiss on a first date, definitely not expectation for sex.
Obviously it depends on the man and what he is after.
If marriage is what you want then you should be honest about it right from the start. That way you just eliminate the men who aren't ready and the ones who stay around you know want marriage as well.
Lol I think that boat has almost passed. At your age, very slim chance it’ll happen. Unless he’s got no self esteem, never had a girlfriend or even touched a girl chances are he will find someone else.
He is free to leave. I never force anyone to stay 🤷🏼♀️
We all know that. But what I’m saying is to me it feels like a game to which I don’t think you have much time to be doing things like this based on your age if you’re looking to get married.
I am not playing. I want to get hin better before going on a date
Lol ok if you think that’ll work
"I don’t think you have much time to be doing things like this based on your age if you’re looking to get married."
Based on her age? How rude and misogynistic! So for a woman to wait before sex is horrible based on her age? So what age is safe for women to withhold sex and intimacy?
The studity of most guys is that they think most women still live in the fantasy that marriage is the form of happiness women have. If you are not married then you won't be happy or fulfilled. And women with the mindset of the Asker are the reason men have deceived women with a marriage proposal to get their way.
Asker, your question sounds desperate and manipulative. If you are in a long distance relationship that may be understandable why you can't meet in person. The purpose of calls and chat is to get the introduction out of the way. First dates can be in a public place where you have more control of your emotion. If he's requesting a hotel space or visit to his house or yours then you should bluntly tell him straight about your expectations for not going for intimacy until you know him better. But never say until he has marriage intentions.
Withholding any form of intimacy can help weed out the players. But if the purpose of doing so is for marriage or to get the guy to make up his mind fast, it can backfire because you can't force a person to make such a big decision without knowing them in person. This is why most arranged marriages fail.
@Kristi08 just so you know you wasted time writing all that, not worth reading. I’m just telling you how most men think.
Waiting only makes him think you are proving to be a difficult girl. and at times he look at you to be a joke this is in case were you relate and react to his every text or call. so for me asking a girl for a date is just to be formal on my intention to her
just because they expect it does not mean it has to be and not dating because they are not committed to marriage it is way too early to measure that on a first date you need chemistry to find that out you can know that by the internet or dating apps
You shouldn't play games and just tell him. I always say to have success in dating you need to fly a flag. Too many various people out there to bother dating and talk about it later. Be loud and proud of your most limiting factors from the beginning.
Why don't you just lay out your views and expecations at that first date, then?
Communicate, for God's sake, it's not that hard.
Playing that kind of game is not gonna ever get you married.
Have a discussion with him about it so you two can understand where the other stands.