Is it fair of me to want my girlfriend to tell me who she talks to and what they talk about everytime she talks to a guy?

[rehanQ]

This applies to irl and in text both. Is it fair of me to want to know who she talks to (guys only) and what they talk about?

[Mijopapi2000]

I think you are going about it the wrong way. Let her talk to who she wants and stay out of it then you will be able to test her loyalty because it is better to find out now where she stands than end up screwed over later when you are more invested in her.

[RuthlessAggression]

It'll only show your jealousy though, and that will drive her insane

[AmandaYVR]

No, it's a bit possessive.
But you have a right to know why she is talking to guys, on a social level. Is it on social media? Is she putting herself out there, or into the world, to get attention from other guys? That's not cool if she has a boyfriend.

[rehanQ]

She only uses Instagram and doesn't post any pictures and when she does post herself it's on her story only.

[AmandaYVR]

You need to relax. Sounds like you have trust issues. Her telling you about her interactions will only feed into your neuroses. Don't feed the fire.

[rehanQ]

The uncertainty eats at me and I feel as if I need to keep her accountable to me. How can I fix this M

[AmandaYVR]

You believe, deep down, that if you control the situation, control her, then you will prevent bad things from happening, spare yourself pain. But life doesn't really work that way, and people hate to feel suffocated.

You must continually ask yourself (not her), "Has she done anything to lose my trust?" You can keep one eye open, sure, but you shouldn't spend your mental energy in being a detective. It will erode her feelings toward you. People always like to talk about the relationships they lost where they were betrayed, but they never talk about the ones that were lost because they would not give their partner the benefit of the doubt. People leave relationships for stuff like this.

You should probably mostly keep these feelings to yourself. Tell her once, explain it clearly to her so that she understands your angst and fears about this, but beyond that it's really your internal battle.

How can you fix it? Time. Just time. Time + consistency on her part. She will either triumph or fail you. But she is an autonomous person. It's really up to her. Your choice is in how you react to what she does.

[rehanQ]

Thank you so much. I'll work on this. And I'll follow you so I can ask for advice if I ever need it again

[AmandaYVR]

You're very welcome. Yep, feel free.

[boredgal]

no, even though she's your girlfriend you still have to respect and give her privacy, tbh that's very possessive and controlling, which might lead to toxicity. give her space.

[whereismyjohnny]

No. It's too controlling.

[mandyfire98]

It's not fair, it's controlling and possessive.

[NathanDavis]

no... this is mental and insecure AF