He told me he might be accepting a new job and that he’d move away and doesn’t want to lead me on if that happens. What does this mean for us?

[Anonymous]

Why is he still talking to me and going on dates with me then? He seemed really into me. We’re going on our 3rd date this weekend (tentatively).

[Drumlin2001]

He's letting you know there's no future, but he still likes you. Maybe looking for a hook up. Question is what are you looking for? If your happy with some short term no strings fun then keep seeing him, if you want something long term you need to end it

[Asker]

So he doesn’t like me enough to become official or doesn’t like me enough for a long distance relationship? I guess I don’t know how to interpret. He told me I’m a nice girl and he doesn’t want to lead me on in case he goes back to the other city for good. And told me he has done long distance before and it didn’t work.

[Asker]

He basically said “I don’t want you to feel used” if he goes back to the other city and this doesn’t continue.

[Drumlin2001]

No point becoming official if he's going to leave, and long distance isn't for everyone. Sounds like he's tried it didn't like the experience. He seems to be being very honest with you, the ball is in your court. His career means more to him right now than you.

[Asker]

Well he scheduled a date tentatively together for Sunday. His family is coming into town so it’s a hard weekend but anyway he still seems interested.

[Asker]

@drumlin2001 what if he ends up staying here? Also why would he tell me this on just a second date?

[Drumlin2001]

He's told you early so you don't get any expectations up, which is reasonable.
It seems like he's expecting to go, if he does end up staying you'd need to talk it over. Someone's requirements for a shortterm fling are different to a longterm relationship. Only he knows if he would see a longterm thing.

[Asker]

What do you mean requirements? Like am I not good enough?

[Drumlin2001]

Not about being not good enough.
I don't know you or him. I have no idea how compatible you are.
As an example, when I was in the dating pool I wanted long term and everything that came with it (a kid, or at least the possibility). I met a couple of women who were clear they didn't want kids, so it wouldn't have worked out. If I had thought differently and was inly looking short term, that wouldn't have mattered.

[Asker]

Well it’s not like he’s saying he sees no future with me, it’s just if he moves it’ll be more complicated. I think.

[Drumlin2001]

From your original post it would seem if he leaves for this new job he wouldn't expect to keep seeing you.
Just enjoy it for what it is until he sorts out his plans. Then if he stays, talk to him bout what he wants

[Asker]

How can I convince him to want to stay and be with me?
by the way on the other hand he was a little mean to me on the first date and seemed to have some anger issues which he excused as just being sarcasm, and told me on our 2nd date he thought I was a narcissist in our first date.

[Drumlin2001]

I doubt you could or should convince him to stay. You don't really know him, and he dosen't seem to see you as a serious factor in his life. It sounds like you may not even be that compatible.

[Asker]

It’s just weird because I thought I’m the kind of girl guys would want a serious relationship with.
Why do you think he doesn’t see me as a serious factor?

[Drumlin2001]

He's got a job offer elsewhere and he seems to be keeping you at arms length. You've only had 2 dates.

[Asker]

Because he’s been in town since last week. He wants to see me Sunday though. That is if he follows through.

[Smallboobsgotohell]

My ex crush told me exactly the same thing i told her i would kill myself if she left me then she blocked me and left...

[sheikalana]

That's him telling you to not expect your relationship to evolve in case he has to move.

[Asker]

Well he seemed really into me otherwise. I don't know, I’m not going to think it’s super personal and that I’m not lovable.

[sheikalana]

Doesn't mean he's not interested. He probably just doesn't want to have a long distance relationship or be in a relationship with someone he cannot see regularly.

[Asker]

Well why would he tell me this just on our second date? It felt like he was basically telling me this is going nowhere? :/ I’m really upset and confused.

[sheikalana]

Well, that's a question I cannot answer. You have the right to be upset if you were a close friend I would just tell you to move on this doesn't seem to go anywhere.