So I was seeing this guy last fall that lives about 1.5 hours away from me. About a month in he said he wasn't sure if he could handle long distance and a month after that he said he for sure couldn't handle it. When we had this first conversation he kept saying it wasn't about me at all. I specifically said "I feel like if you liked me enough or felt like this was something worth pursuing the distance wouldn't matter". In response he said he wasn't putting me down at all; that it wasn't about me and that he couldn't handle long distance because he had done it in the past and it was too difficult. I asked him to take the distance out of the equation and pretend I lived 5 minutes away and to only consider how he felt about me. He said we wouldn't even be having this conversation if I lived 5 minutes away. I felt like there had to be more to it so a few months later I saw him at a work party (we work for the same company at different locations). We talked again and he said he had been cheated on which was why he couldn't do long distance again. I feel like in both of those conversations it may have felt like I was trying to talk him into it but I was more trying to understand why he couldn't handle it and I finally found out why in that second conversation. Flash forward to now and I'm looking into job positions at his location but this isn't because of him. That location for our company is closer to my friends and family and, professionally speaking, in the long run this area would provide me with more opportunities for the future. A co-worker of ours told him I'm moving up there and now I'm panicking he might think I'm moving because of him. I don't know if I should even bother saying something to him and more importantly don't want him thinking he's a factor in this move. Am I still interested in him? Yes. Would I want to date him if I moved closer? Yes. But again this move would be what's best for me for many other reasons. Looking for some advice/opinions here.
Does he think I'm moving for him?
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Why does it matter what the reason is? Isn't that irrelevant? The point is you guys are going to have a chance now! That's a blessing from God!
It shouldn’t matter but would a guy be weirded out if a girl moves near him after that was the basis for him not wanting to continue things? I’m more worried that he’s going to think I’m “crazy” even though it’s not about him but it can easily look that way.
I guess I understand what you're saying. But it would only be an issue if he doesn't actually like you. It's not an issue at all if he likes you!
And that’s the other question. Did he use distance as an excuse? Every time we talked about it he kept saying it wasn’t about me and I’m hoping he was telling me the truth.
Well, I read everything you wrote above, and there was nothing there to indicate to me that he was just using it as an excuse.
I hear you. Too many people are saying if he was into me he would’ve found a way to get over the distance. I don’t necessarily believe it’s that simple based on his past and obviously what he’s said but it’s still in the back of my mind.
@Asker Well, everyone on GAG always tells people not to get into a long distance relationship. So I'm sure he has heard plenty of that himself and it influenced his outlook.