What do you think of A girl that cuts off friends with benefits without saying anything because she caught feelings. Smart thing?

[Anonymous]

So I have a friends with benefits that I only seen twice in person. Prior to that we were taking for like a couple months. To protect myself and my feelings, I tend to block guys after we did the deed with out saying anything. Also so I don’t make things more complicated on my part. There are times when I felt like I should’ve just told him but I just suck it up and try to move on not thinking about it. I doubt he wouldn’t mind but is that usually a smart thing to do? I know everyone is diff.

girls and guys opinions greatly appreciated.

[Anonymous]

I mean there’s nothing wrong with catching feelings, he might even feel the same way about you. Are you just scared of getting close to anyone? I understand where you’re coming from tho bc I did the same thing to my friends with benefits, turns out he also has feelings for me and now we’re dating.

[Asker]

I’m happy for you! I wish that were the case for me. Unfortunately it’s not. But i’m slowly being OK with it. I guess I did it because I was just protecting myself i’m trying not to make things complicated or have any drama involved.

[Asker]

So I guess my method is just a block

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah that makes sense, that’s a defense mechanism. You’re distancing yourself before anything happens that way you won’t get hurt right? I think it’s ok as long as that’s really what you want.

Do you think you’ll feel better if you just stick to having one night stands? With FWBs it can get kinda complicated bc sometimes you end up seeing them and hooking up multiple times for a longer period of time…

[Asker]

Yes I think that’s a prefect way to protect myself. The thing is we have been talking for A couple months prior. He’s been always trying to hook up with me and made it very clear. With like cheesy pick up lines. But you would also randomly send me pictures of him doing stuff throughout his day and stuff like that. Which was actually pretty cool. Before he told me he just wants to hook up and go our separate ways while we were talking. So I was like perfect because yes I do agree one night stands are way better for me at least. The past ones I’ve had I’ve been totally fine. After the first night we hung out it was really fun we actually got along and it was just really fun. For some reason on the way home It got a little awkward and quiet. However I was so much fun he pick me up at 8:00 PM and dropped me home at around 4:00 AM. We did things going to the beach and stuff like that at night. Driving around talking laughing. Then I guess things are kind of awkward on the way home I got kind of quiet. He was asking me if I did anything wrong with this and that. I said no because in my mind I was just thinking of just going home and going or separate ways. Somehow I just blocked him right when I got home. He then texted me on the dating app asking if I was OK? And then somehow I guess you can still leave voicemails on an iPhone even though you blocked him. So he left me a voicemail asking me if I was ok. I felt like I shouldn’t have even replied. But I just replied and said I got your message… then was just texting me here in there not every day but here in there. Until he wanted to meet up the second time. I was hesitant I was like I don’t think so but then I was bored so I was like fuck it. So we met up again and for some reason he was a little bit different. A little bit more cocky.

[Asker]

He was just talking about All
the girls he hooked up with What and what they did and this and that. Which is fine but it was just such a turn off to even hear. He was telling me how he still had feelings for his ex Which I already knew because he would always tell me prior when we were talking about how she was acting crazy and this is and that blah blah blah. Then he told me I intimidate him… I was like wtf? Two times I gave him blue balls because I was just over it and how everything played out. There’s this tree where he picked me up both times by. The second time we stopped a little further away from the tree, and he said quietly so you can walk from here Huh? I said totally I can walk I walk all the time around this area, and he said no I can drop you I’m not that kind of guy and I insisted that I could walk and he insisted to not let me walk so he dropped me off by the tree. At that point I just felt like shit. My feelings were just hurt. It’s my fault I know what I was getting into I just didn’t know it was gonna turn on like this. That’s why yes I agree I feel like one night stands are way better. And I did have them before and they have caused me no trouble With myself or the situation. It just sucks that I went for the second time I don’t know why I did it but I can’t take it back. So I’m over here wishing that I just still kept it him on block. I have always done that before. But I can’t take it back now. So I guess from now on I’m sticking to one night stands again! And by the way yes I did like him and I wasn’t expecting that to happen. He also told me I wasn’t what he expected like twice which I don’t even know what that means but whatever now. It’s been a month since the last time I talk to him so Eventually I’ll get over it.

[Asker]

Sorry for writing an novel. It just feels great to get stuff off my chest.

[Opinion Owner]

Ah I see, I mean you can’t really force your heart to not catch feelings but I understand that distancing yourself and blocking is a way for you to prevent that from happening.

Seems like you did actually enjoy your time with him, he might have enjoyed your time with you as well. His ego could’ve gotten hurt (plus the blue balls lol) and that’s why he switched up on you and that might explain why he acted cocky. But I think he’s still emotionally immature, and he’s clearly not over his ex so you did the right thing by trying to leave all this behind.

It’s also only been a month, no need to rush in forgetting him. Just let yourself feel all the emotions that way you can flush them out much quicker ❤️

[Asker]

Yes you are sooo true! I thought I was crazy. Thank you so much for helping me see things clearly now! I really appreciate it a lot! 💜💜💜

[Opinion Owner]

No worries bb, I hope you’ll feel better soon. Remember, you’re awesome and no one can take that away from you ❤️

[Asker]

💜💜💜😘

[FilmGuy93]

Not a fan... You really ought to provide some sort explanation or opportunity for closure. I guarantee that your friends with benefits will miss you, especially if you leave without explanation.

[Asker]

I mean I doubt he would care or even notice as much. I do like him a lot. I do care about him. He still has feelings for his ex. He would always tell me while we were talking. In my mind I thought he wanted to do the deed and go out separate ways. I was ok with that. Instead we hung out from 8pm till 4am. It was fun. I guess he had fun too and he wanted to see me again in like the same week. And I did. But this time I blocked him because I know it’s probably right for me and him even without explanation. Being that I would get attached in some way. It’s been month now since the last meeting. I still think of him. Probably not in the way I should be…

[Asker]

I didn’t want to cause drama also. I wouldn’t let drama Happend I would just disappear I guess

[Guy13]

When you put that emotional and physical separation there... and you meet after bar... do you ever O again or is that contingent upon emotional connection?

[Asker]

If I don’t know them or met them ever, it’s more easier for me to not catch feelings or wanting more attention from them.

[Guy13]

Oh, I see. Like a one and done?

[Asker]

Yes exactly like that.

[Guy13]

Okay, I understand. Thanks for that :)

[Asker]

Do you think it’s a smart thing of me to cut things off like that?

[Guy13]

I do not know. Everyone is different. I do not operate that way but to some extent I "catch feelings"... it's more like mutual friend feeling back when I did friends with benefits.-there was a connection but not love... and she had but so long she could go... my porch and sliding door was always unlocked... but I met someone for 2 years and we're "just friends". Make sense? feel like I'm rambling incoherently

[Asker]

No I get what you mean! I catch feelings, but if another guy came along I would obviously be more occupied with the new guy. I think I just crave the attention? 🤷🏽‍♀️ I would get jealous if he were seeing another girl that is a better friends with benefits. I always think to myself if he would treat them nicer then me. Maybe I’m insecure? 🤷🏽‍♀️ Or maybe friends with benefits just isn’t for me…

[Guy13]

YOur brain wiring actually changes. Look up book hooked and it will take you from Brain to personality to emotional and to final outcome of friends with benefits over time. Medical Doctors did this research SO the first version I read was technical. It is in a book now. Hooked: something... part of title It sounds a little bit like a medical journal title...

[Asker]

I will deff look it up! So you read it?

[Guy13]

Yes but not since it was made into "bookstore" or amazon book. I was looking at the correlations between parameters used, the brain pictures etc. From the book, you can probably get the Original research location...

[Asker]

Hmm that’s interesting I will probably look it up!

[Guy13]

Good... it is an interesting read because it it mind, body, behavior scientifically...

[Asker]

I have got to read that book!

[JamesRandiDebates]

Yes. Give us the poon, then get out of our life. Those are the best women.

[Asker]

I’m asking this in a sensitive way….

[JamesRandiDebates]

Yes. Please allow us to enjoy the tender sweetness of your feminine charms and then leave us with the happy memory of having known you.