What do men over 30 think of women initiating the first move on men?

[Anonymous]

If a woman is friends with you, and if she tells you that she likes you very much, what would you think of them? Would you consider to go out with them? Or how should a woman make the first move without scaring you? Suggestions?

[ChrisMaster69]

Hmm, depends on how the friends thing has been.

if there is a level of attraction and some flirting and it’s never been mentioned before, then yeah it’s fine.

i personally do not get involved with friends usually, I had in the past but it’s been to fairly tight rules, as in if the relationship fucks up, we remain friends and it does not impact our join friends.

Often it’s setting the scene, sort of being fairly subtle with the guy that the girl is available, however a lot of guys ( me included ) miss obvious clues.

Sometimes you just have to make that leap of faith and have an idea on how they would react to being kissed as more than just friends.

At this current moment in time I would die if one of my friends said that, as would not be able to cope with it.

I think most guys would be fine if their friend decided to move things up a gear and go from just friends.

[Asker]

I am attracted to him BIG TIME, and I think he is interested in me too, but nothing has been mentioned in the romantic sense yet. You mean the friendship would be spoiled if the girl finally came clean and told him she liked him? He definitely cares about me, I know it very well. I wish there was a way to find out whether he likes me, before I admit I like him :(

[ChrisMaster69]

It could be spoiled or strained if the relationship / sexual side did not work out.

It may be a case of trying to get intimate without saying out you feel.

Have an evening with a mutual movie, some alcohol, finger foods
Lots of cuddling and snuggling.
Then do the ‘how lovely you are’ etc and see if you can breakdown that friends thing.
If he says no, you have an out with the atmosphere getting to you.
If he goes for it, then it’s a win.

It’s always hard with those we are connected to as friends or emotionally connected with, going over that next bit to make it more physical.

Try and work out types of situation where he is less reserved, more into having fun and messing around.

[Asker]

I completely get it... thank you for your suggestions, I will give it a try and see how it goes :)

[ChrisMaster69]

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

My experience with women is the have no idea how to ask a guy out. The problem with women in my experience is they have 2 speeds 100 miles and hr. And STOP 🤣.

It's been my experience that every woman that has asked me out has came out of left field with it. She didn't give me any indication she had any interest in me. She just sprung it on me. As a result I felt very on the spot. You wouldn't want a guy doing that to you. And you would probably reject him. Why do you think it'd be different for a guy.

The best advice I can give you is build up to it. I wouldn't dislike it if I saw it coming.

[Asker]

You mean you never saw it coming at all? They never gave you a hint beforehand and they just asked you out on a date out of the blue? How would you have preferred it? How should a woman aşk you out?

[Slartybartfast]

By thirty most men are sick of the childish games. If you can't date as an EQUAL by thirty, you have serious issues you should resolve first.

If you have a list of rules he must follow, Disney ideas of romance that should have ended when you turned 18, assumptions about what men should and shouldn't do with an ever changing and often conflicting and contradictory set of social rules which make men want to walk away in disgust from the entire idea of dating, you're going to have a bad time..

He doesn't have to do anything that you don't have to do. He isn't obligated to fill anyones self created arbitrary rules anymore than you are.

This is the twenty first century, those rules should have died when the first cell phone was created.

[Anonymous]

If a guy is truly interested, he will move mountains to be with you. If he's luke warm or uninterested, he won't do anything that takes effort. Sometimes a woman approaching a man is similar to a guy in the friendzone confessing his feelings. Often it's a way the person tries to avoid reality.

[Asker]

I am confused with your last sentence, what do you mean? So you basically say the man would do anything to confess his feelings if he loved her? What if he is shy or there is something that holds him back?

[BarryLiverstone]

Not yet 30 but I’d say if she’s into me not to be too over the top. You said that she’s my friend? I’d be flattered if she said she liked me in a romantic sense but if she said she had a huge crush on me I would start to wonder if she was using the friendship to be close to me.

[Juxtapose]

I think it's a welcome change of pace and I will almost never not reward a woman for being brave and asking me out.

[nawtee_me]

It would be refreshing... Older man are not intimated as younger man might be. We have seen it all and most are okay with it...

[Lliam]

I think it's great. I like a woman with the pluck to take a chance.
A couple of my relationships began like that.

[Berethor]

She not going to scare me unless she unattractive. :)

[Guardian45]

I've never had a problem with a woman making the first move. Admittedly, it has only happened to me twice.

[Anonymous]

Id be fine with that now, so I think I would when I am older.

[OddBeMe]

“Thank god, I’m tired.”

[IHateBeingaMan]

always will be forever rare sadly