I might sound crazy but here we go…
I haven’t had the best of luck with relationships in the past and since my ex boyfriend I’ve remained single for the last 5 years.
I just turned 30 and the thought of dating someone terrifies me now and I know it’s not normal.
Guys message me sometimes but I get scared and cool things off in a nice way. I’m not rude or anything.
On nights out, parties etc I do get some attention from guys but again I get too scared and don’t let anything come from it even though I’d love to meet someone amazing. But I freak out thinking I’m not good enough for anyone and that they’ll be disappointed.
In my teens I was really outgoing and always had boyfriends throughout high school and college. Two more serious relationships but one cheated on me and the other left me and then dated my friend. Lol.
Then I met my ex. We were on and off for 5 years and ended things mutually but after we split up he was awful to me. He kept me hanging for a few years while he was lying about being in another very serious relationship. Cheating on his now wife with me while lying to me about it all while they were buying dogs, a house and getting engaged. It was a whole big mess but this all happened 2 years ago now. He recently got married and it didn’t even bother me and I’m actually happy for him but it’s left me in a really bad place and I know the way I feel about myself isn’t normal.
My family, friends, colleagues etc keep asking me why I’m single. Men say they don’t believe I’m single and say things like how is that possible. My friends keep telling me to put myself out there but I don’t even know what that means. All of my friends are engaged or married now and have kids. It’s really embarrassing as I can’t answer them. Like yeah I’m 30 year old grown ass lady and terrified of dating.
I’d love to put myself out there but I feel like I’m not good enough for anyone anymore and I’ve became so shy and insecure.
I’ve tried dating apps but they’re not for me.
