If a man cares for someone he’s dated over 1 year, but isn’t in love. Why would he jump straight back into online dating?

[Anonymous]

He said he’s not ready as he’s still dealing with some issues from his divorce. I have my thoughts but am just interested in others with experience too as we sometimes see things from differing angles.

[AlphaMale1]

He has needs and desires that are not being filled. This is the cause of countless divorces, usually due to the lack of simply communicating.

[Asker]

What types of typical needs might they be for a man?

[AlphaMale1]

His needs and desires... I can only from my own experience.
His needs... He needs a real life companion. A friend. Someone who will support him, not nag or be judgmental.
His desires... My desires for being with a woman is I want her to be my slut when it comes to sex. As much of it as she can do. Anal. This usually takes time especially at the start. He HAS to go slow and use a lot of lube. A woman's ass is really not intended for a male penis. However, this is easily overcome as long as he goes slow. At first just maybe the head of his cock. For a couple minutes. Then gradually increase the depth. This works. I have turned more than a few virgin anal holes into a cock-hungry party.

If he is long enough have you tried throat fucking? This is like anal sex. The gag impulse needs to be overcome. Like anal, this takes time. There are techniques he can do to help along with this. If you can get past the gag reflex and let him cum in your throat you have given him an experience and sensation he is probably never had.

I do not know you or your man. So these are things offered from my personal experiences with keeping a relationship together and happy.

Remember, communication really is the key. What do you want that is difficult for you to say to him? What does he want that he has never said to you.

Think about it...

[Asker]

Well I feel I’ve given him plenty of those kinds of things he likes. The former is the type of thing I think we all look for, and we tend to give what we want. The latter, he knows I’ve let him have his way and wanted to make him happy. I have no idea what he wants that he’s never said to me. I’ve been honest with him from the start now so I guess that ball is in his court.

[Avicenna]

Sometimes people find it easier to meet someone new than to deal with the problems in their current relationship

[Asker]

But wouldn’t that mean they don’t really care about the person because if they did the effort would be worth it?

[Avicenna]

Yeah, but maybe they're the type of person that procrastinates and avoids problems

[Asker]

Yeah true.

[FilmGuy93]

It sounds like he's lonely and doesn't really know what he's looking for just yet.

[Asker]

That’s what I thought too. Trying to fill the bits he misses from his marriage while still getting over the past partner.

[FilmGuy93]

Yeah… unfortunately, broken and hurting people will often unintentionally inflict their damage onto others in an effort to fill the void they feel within themselves

[Asker]

Yeah I’ve come to realise that first hand.

[FilmGuy93]

Oh yeah. Sometimes drawing boundaries and being discerning with people is the most compassionate thing you can do. Another thing I’ve noticed is that people tend to get into the situations they do by making tiny decisions every single day. That guy is divorced for a reason; and it’s the same reason that he’s not ready to date you after a year and trying to find a new girlfriend online.

[Asker]

What kind of reasons are you thinking here? He’s told me he was completely blind sighted by it and still doesn’t know why it happened.

[FilmGuy93]

The reason is that he lacks self-awareness… Which is something that you just alluded to in your last comment. It’s not that difficult for a fully grown adult to realize that they need to emotionally heal after the break up of their marriage before they start dating again, and yet he didn’t realize that he needs that

[Asker]

You’re right, I thought that in the beginning so don’t know how I’ve lost sight of that either tbh. Feelings blind you I guess. 😕
He told me from the start he’d taken a year out and had dealt with it. But on certain anniversaries or contact from lawyers he’d struggle. We’ve now broken it off, he said he doesn’t want to hurt me and is doing it for me not him (I don’t know how true that is, I guess only he knows) but he’s also said never say never about things changing in future and said he won’t let me lose contact with him even if I decide I don’t want to. But I think he’d also want me to be happy I that meant being elsewhere. Like I said, I don’t know what genuine really because I’m not him and I’m feeling a bit too emotional at the moment to be sure.