Why does a boy stops talking with a girl suddenly after she rejects him? Why can't he be her friend?

Question

DanielDiaz · Accepted Answer

I worked at a liquor store when I was in my twenties. A very nice and cool young woman would come in and we would talk about things. One night, she and I were talking, and after she finished commenting about a particular subject, I didn't have anything else to add to it. I gave her a friendly expression that said, "So, what else do you want to talk about?" She grimaced, shrugged her shoulders and left. I never saw her again, even though I really wanted to be her friend and socialize outside of work.

I don't know exactly what she was expecting from me. Did she expect me to continue the conversation as if I am some chatterbox who never runs out of things to say? Did she expect me to ask her to hang out sometime? Why did she not take the initiative to ask me if I wanted to hang out? Did she expect me to have/show romantic interest in her?

Whatever she was expecting, it was obvious that she was disappointed. That disappointment was severe enough that she never wanted to see me again. And, you know what, it was her absolute, inalienable right to never want to see me again. Perhaps the sight of me would have reminded her that I did not find her attractive enough to be romantically interested in her, and she felt it better to avoid that reminder and not feel those negative thoughts. It's her life, and she has the right to choose who she wants to be around.

That may be the case with the boy in question. You rejected him because there is something about him that is not good enough for you to consider him boyfriend material. He has decided that it is better for his confidence/mental health to avoid reminders that you don't think he is good enough. He has the absolute right to not want to see you and be reminded of that, just as you would have the right to do what you feel is best for you. He is entitled to spend his time with people who make him feel good about himself and avoid reminders that don't make him feel good, just as you are entitled to do the same. Just as he is not entitled to your romantic affection, you are not entitled to his time, energy, emotions, or friendship.

You are entitled to choose to be friends with people who want to be friends with you, you are not entitled to be friends with people after you reject them romantically. When people decide not to interact with people who have rejected them, they do so because that is what they feel is the best way to prevent reminders of how they are not good enough. That is not something that should be shamed. That is something, in my opinion, that is to be respected.

crossdressingrihno · Accepted Answer

Tell you what here’s an analogy.
There’s a pig that loves carrots and you have a carrot tied to a stick almost like a fishing pole.

So the pig wants the carrot on the stick but you don’t want to give the pig the carrot on the stick however you still want the pig to follow the stick so you dangle the carrot on the stick with the pig never able to eat the carrot.
Do you think that is fair to the pig? No of course not if you’re not gonna give the pig the carrot then what’s the point and hNo of course not if you’re not gonna give the pig the carrot then what’s the point of having it on a stick.

He wants you maybe he wants you sexually maybe there’s a legitimate romantic attraction either way you’re a carrot and he’s a pig he wants to eat carrot he wants to be with you. If you’re into somebody romantically and you continue to hang out around them even though they’re probably going to be with other people then really all you’re doing is dangling the carrot right in front of your face despite never being able to reach it. Sometimes it’s just better and easier to forget about the carrot and go off and do something else.

I’m not saying accept every man’s offer as a matter of fact I suggest not doing that for multiple reasons Just to know that sometimes if you were into someone and you can’t be with them it’s just better for everybody if you leave because it’ll save everyone the drama.

Sarahplus2 · Accepted Answer

He was interested in her more.. maybe romantically. It's not same to go back to being friendly

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Have you EVER considered this situation from any perspective other than your egocentric view? Ever been rejected? Ever had a guy tell you "I don't want to have sex with you, I don't want to make out with you, I don't want to kiss you, and I don't even want to hold hands with you. But I will allow you the honor and privilege of being my friend and you can sit around and watch while I date guys who I think are much cooler than you?"

ohsheeT · Answer

It's because of rejection is because he's embarrassed it's because he likes you it's because he spoils and usually gets what he wants it's because he's only still being selfish and thinking it's all about him instead of making it all about you and trying to understand why you feel the way that you feel and accepting that because that is a true friend so if a guy does what he is doing to you by not talking to you no more then he's really not a true friend and he's really immature

jhl_x · Answer

You'd know if you'd ever tried something with a guy and been rejected. It sucks to be around the person, thinking that it's scraps compared to the relationship I was expecting to be in with a person I like. I can't just turn off the bad feelings and pretend that nothing happened and that things will be the same. I've been there and the wisest choice is to step away and clear my head, because there can't be a friendship like this.

Pegases · Answer

Because men don't work that way. Men and women are different. If there is physical attraction, a man has to constantly overlook that physical attraction everytime he talks to you. We are visual creatures, that's how it works for us, so being your friend doesn't do anything for us in that situation.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Because the reason we talk to women is to have a relationship. And that's literally part of our job in the relationship: talking to her and listening to her. If you don't want a relationship with the guy, then it's not his job and you're not his problem.

BeMuse · Answer

What's the point. You want different things. You want an emotional tampon. He wanted a partner. Neither of you are getting what you want.

Anonymous · Answer

“I want nothing to do with you... but we can hang out and I can tell you about the new boy I’m seeing!” 😂

Ghostluck · Answer

Me personally, I don't need another friend. So if I am interested in a girl and she turns me down, that's it. Besides, pretty sure when guys keep trying to talk to a woman after she turns him down, she just sees him as being creepy anyway. So why bother.

Truthatanycost · Answer

He's not looking for a friend and there are plenty of potential friends around. He was only looking for something more. That's like asking you why you only want to be friends with him and note more...

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Because he wants something more with her and she doesn't want the same with him, so the guy sees it as a waste of his time to keep her around.

Sandeeppingping · Answer

Stop being so egocentric wtf, he's emotionally hurt because the girl he likes doesn't like him back and all you care about is him not bending over and being your friend?

Anonymous · Answer

Why would anyone want to be friends with someone who tells them they are not good enough for them but want them around to whine to about all the assholes they fuck without effort?

Why are females so arrogant they believe guys should still want to be around them after such a disrespectful thing?

Phoenix98 · Answer

Because that’s kind of like just putting salt in the wound.

TheMajesticKing777 · Answer

He wasn't seeking for a friendship I guess, for that he could've befriended even someone his own gender

Tyrael · Answer

He doesn't want to be friends, so ofc he won't keep talking to them.

Avcfhcic · Answer

He has feelings for her more than a friend, so being a friend will just hurt because he wants more

slatyb · Answer

Because it’s frustrating to be around someone you desire who has rejected you.

POSSY_HUNTER · Answer

because he is probably too busy now hitting and flirting with other girl that may become his girlfriend

MangoBob · Answer

Guys do not want to be friends with a girl that rejects them romantically/ physically- I'm almost 60, trust me, i know things.

Anonymous · Answer

Because he isn't stupid and knows better than to friendzone himself.

Vick2828 · Answer

That's too painful. If you really love a girl, it would suck. I rather be alone than pretend.

Fromdusktilldawn · Answer

from what planet are you from? Guys hate Friendzone geez

Waldoe · Answer

you BROKE his heart, all he sees is Pain when he looks at you...

Anonymous · Answer

Why can't girl move away after he reject her as a Friend?

Vasarion · Answer

Women are pretty uninteresting friends

JesseJayNeak · Answer

What an egocentric question?

dustybiker · Answer

He’s hurt.

EaterPeter · Answer

Go big or go home.

Why does a boy stops talking with a girl suddenly after she rejects him? Why can't he be her friend?

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