How can I get him to chase me?

[Anonymous]

Me and this guy have been on and off for a couple months and i’m really into him and in person he seems really into me. We recently started to talk again and he explained what happened etc. We talk outside of hanging out but it’s like maybe a few snaps a day. I asked him what he prefers in talking so i don’t overwhelm him or something and he said i don’t need to change anything. He works full time and also plays a sport throughout the week. I answer how he answers. If he replies slow i do and if he’s fast i’m fast. I’m not sure how to approach the situation but i do know i want to continue talking to him. We have a lot of fun in person and then our texts are somewhat dry. Any thoughts on what i should do?

[PrettyPriya]

I think you are doing exactly what you should be doing. I have made that same suggestion twice recently about how to match the frequency of the person you are texting to not overwhelm them.

Also, you have to remember that guys are typically not big into texting and stuff like that. I know mine isn't. We are engaged and it is still tough sometimes getting him to text me back about the simplest of things.

A lot of guys are like that. Plus, you mentioned he works and plays sports. That takes up a lot of the day. You are finding time to hang out, which is great. I don't think you really need to change what you are doing.

Sounds to me that you are exactly where you should be with this guy and don't change it unless you have a very good idea that there is something not right and you are pushing him away.

That is what makes texting so hard. You start to get these ideas that there is something wrong by how you interpret the tone of a message or how long it takes to be sent.

[Anonymous]

That’s the equivalent of how to get a man to fall for you, to which I’d say you can’t manipulate him into reciprocating your feelings and your efforts. If you’re sick of feeling like the one chasing or putting in more effort, then the solution for that is to stop, plain and simple. What I gathered from your description of this situation is that he isn’t interested in making you a priority in his life. I don’t buy the too busy scenario now that I am personally in a relationship with a man who works 11 hours a day, and drives two hours in traffic after work every day to be with me. If your guy wanted to genuinely be with you he would, and he’s not. So rather than seek tips and tricks to make him try with you, remind yourself of your standards, recognize he would pursue on his own if he wanted, and let go. There are too many men in this world to settle for that one.

[DOGU8585]

lol, ı think accept or not, you really loved him, otherwise you wouldn't give so much effort, anyways, you may try to do nothing, ı mean just be reckless little bit and let him go, probably he will eventually try to do something for you

[Revenant_Titan]

Honestly? I’m gonna be blunt, if he’s not chasing you then he’s not getting what he wants out of you. By that I mean sex, men need a reason to come back and if it’s not for love then it’s sex.

[Asker]

We hung out a few days ago and had sex and we were great. We got food after and then he asked if i wanted to spend the night. Next day i told him i had a good time and he said he did too. We still talk, he’s always been bad at texting. Would it just be that he’s busy?

[Revenant_Titan]

Well then! Having learned all of that, I would say he’s giving things room to breathe and not trying to move things too quickly, he’s not pushing you away but maybe not trying to come off as too needy, chances are he’s wanting to see you as much as you want to see him. And if he’s bad at texting then you should initiate! :)

[Asker]

I've definitely tried to initiate, I think it’s more he’s busy or just not in the mood to be on his phone? I’m not sure. When i’m around him he’s never on his phone. Could just be how he is all the time? I don’t wanna ask him and sound needy. I know he’s a busy man and might just not be ready for something serious

[RosieMelts]

Wear a sign on your head that says “chase me”

[slatyb]

Do you have a laser pointer?

[In_Trance]

Be someone he wants to chase