Why do guys cancel/ghost after great convo for days online?

[Lilphil123]

So fed up with online dating. There are so many times I’ll start talking to a guy who we seem to hit it off, messaging nonstop, phone exchange, flirty and then we plan a date only to be cancelled on or ghosted. I mean there are guys I talk to online and then realize after a few messages it won’t work out. But these are guys I’m messaging with a few days to a week and seem so interested. How does it all of a sudden change? You basically can’t get excited about anything because the second you do it’s over. So frustrating. Just wanted to vent and see if others have the same situation.

[quaranta]

This is not the "normality" in general, but it becomes a very common thing when it comes to online dating, because of the context. If you're both looking for dates online, of course you're both talking with multiple people simultaneously. This means that when you decide to pursue one person, and maybe get a date or a next step of some sort, you'll quit with the convos with the others. It's just like with job interviews. It goes very well, both interviews, tell you you're going to have the final interview next week, but then they pick another one and won't contact you back, ever.
So the online dating is already a context of "artificial" higher competition (much higher) than dating someone who comes from a circle of friends, jobplace, community etc. You must expect these things, there.
Nonetheless, there are also men who are already into a relationship or married, but decide to play with girls online without concluding anything, just for the sake of feeling the freedom of that. They would quit contacts too, abruptly.
They might back off even just because their ex recontacted them, and they were in these apps only as a distraction to get over their ex.
Many reasons could be behind that, that don't concern the quality you offer.
So I would suggest to either message more guys and just accept this is normal (guys live the same things, on the other side), or just to change context to find potential dates. Of course you can improve your communication skills to increase the chances to be chosen but you never know to what stage they are currently with other girls anyway, so in general you should accept how it is to some degree...

[Abhinav03]

I think it's better to find date in real life then right

[Infinity12]

I don't think it's you. I think this is from "Next Shiny Object Syndrome". They are excited to talk to you until they find a shinier new object (i. e. another woman) then get all excited about talking to her only to have the cycle repeat itself.

[genericname85]

i think you shouldn't complain about these guys ghosting you. cause if they just ghost you, that means you're dodging a bullet with those guys.

as a guy you have different issues on dating sites. 99% of girls just don't answer after liking you. and of the 1% that do answer, most of them are fake/scam accounts trying to get you to pay for some other website.

[Anonymous]

Not gonna lie, I've done short-term ghosting when someone over-texts. It's probably more so the fact that the internet is a breeding ground for narcissism. People are looking at their options like a menu, instead of wanting to meet people and have real human experiences. Fuck online dating

[Abhinav03]

We do experience the same thing good communication for a while then ghosted.

I think people get there just or get attention and validation and pull the plug if other person is getting serious and since there is no serious consequences of blocking that person its preety common practice.

[Fromdusktilldawn]

Lol and I thought only girls do that. Had some amazing convos with girls I matched well only for her to block me out of nowhere.

Its an easy cowardish way

[Anonymous]

I bet guys like that are just fucking around for the sure hell of it, and they aren't even single.