You just have to have an open and honest conversation with him, and if you can't have that then there wouldn't be any point in dating him at all. He's not going to like it, but that's his problem. It also means that he's not going to wait for you, and that may or may not be a problem for you.
Not wanting an friends with benefits is easy to explain, you don't want to have casual sex. You want to have a connection with that person that means something and you want to love the person that you bang. Not wanting to be in a relationship right now, you can say it is because you have had a lot of unstable relationships and failed relationships and you want to take time for yourself to learn about yourself and improve who you are.
Again, He might not like those answers. And don't tell him that you would date him in 3 years because then in 3 years he might still be waiting and you moved on or he might never move on and that's not kind to him
Tell him "I have full intentions in having a romantic relationship at some point in the future, but right I'd like to keep our relationship poltonic because i really would like to see your qualities as friend right. And keep mind I am not friend zoning you this not a friendship. I just want to observe your qualities as a friend to see if you're the right choice for me long term"
Just tell him you are not ready for a mew relationship yet.
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Don’t waste his time.
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