Would you date someone who offered no financial incentive to date them?

Question

ObscuredBeyond · Accepted Answer

It entirely depends on her situation and attitude. I dated a girl once who had Huntington's. It didn't last long, because her mom found out that I'd met the gal's ex-mother-in-law, and wasn't cool with me having both sides of that story. I felt it was unfair; but there wasn't much I could do.

This girl wasn't sure what to make of me; but became grateful to have had me in her life a year before she finally died. I fell madly in love with her; even though I knew there were financially zero advantages to having her around. Simply keeping her alive every single day would have been taxing. Yet, I still felt horrible that I wasn't permitted to at least try to contribute toward her preservation!

Now, if a gal is a total couch potato who is ungrateful and utterly useless, that would be another story.

Wade12345 · Accepted Answer

I don't value wealth that much. I mean people need income to live, but money isn't everything. Some of the richest people in the world are also constantly in broken relationships and miserable all the time. Look at Mariah Carrey. She couldn't make marriage work when she was a 600 millionaire and she married a billionaire, and they ended up divorced within 6 months. What the hell did they do and talk about when they were dating? They obviously didn't even know one another when they got married.

Aerissa_Jade · Accepted Answer

I don't need a financial incentive for myself as I make more than most men I've dated, not all, just most.

To me it is all about independence and stability. If he can live on his own, take care of himself and has a decent credit score, that is all for his benefit not mine. That shows he is stable and self sufficient.

I do not want to date a man that I have to support and take care of. I want us to be equals and work together and not have him borrowing money from me that he won't pay back or other issues that arise from being unstable.

I don't want to be his mother... I want to be his partner.

Xoxocutekitty · Accepted Answer

Of course I would date a guy with no financial incentive.

I would also NOT date a guy who was financially demotivating. Examples being: Too poor to hop on a bus to our dates, can't pick up a tab every once in a while ( I prefer to split the first one, and take turns back and forth), can't feed himself properly, too poor to consider going to a doctor for an anual physical or have basic health insurance should the unimaginable happen.

He doesn't have to be rich, just please be above the poverty line and have a stable job.

Qdbrown · Answer

This question will depend on how old and where you are in life. Younger people don't care about finances. Most are idealistic and life is easy.

But when you get into your 30's and 40's you realize that broke people are expensive to date, for anyone. It also makes you feel like your being taken advantage of, and you know your time is money, so if your are going through your money, you're giving away your time for little to nothing. It can nawl on a person, especially if the person your with totally takes you for granted.

hahahmm · Answer

See, most guys don't realize that the woman they are with IS getting financial benefits from him, even if he doesn't hand her cash. Guys don't realize that if they give a woman emotional support it'd cost her $350/hour to get that from a psychologist so they give it away without any strings/conditions, like fools, to women who do nothing at all for the guy. Same for if he drives her around in his car (gas, engine wear, car insurance). Women are VERY aware of these things but play dumb.

The answer is, no. Because ultimately most things in life do have a value even if a lot of people are too blind to see it.

Guys shouldn't need actual cash from women UNLESS they claim to be "strong & independent women" or they're cheating whores... In that case you'd be a fool to pay for more than 50% of anything.

Moose304 · Answer

NO, but not for the reasons you might think. I enjoy being around ladies with an education who can challenge me if they think I am wrong. Ladies that are articulate and also are independent. One of these ladies is an Attorney. Another is a mid-level executive in a local bank. Another is a physician's assistant and still, another is a soon-to-be-retired flight attendant who holds an M. Sc. IT degree. Another holds a Ph. D. and is a licensed therapist. I don't mean this as a putdown, but I don't do well with the Laverne & Shirley types. I know I am going to catch hate for that comment. The reason why I don't do well is trying to have a conversation I have to stop losing my train of thought because I see that deer in the headlights look and have to explain something that she will never understand anyway. The ladies above I rarely have to do that.

Anonymous · Answer

This would depend on many other things, at least as a man. To me a relationship is about a lot more than money, and there’s many ways to contribute in a relationship. Is there other ways she contributes? For example, is she wanting to be the old fashioned housewife type? Is she high maintenance? Can the man afford to support both on his income?

This isn’t meant as sexist, in fact the same questions apply to any gender.

To me, I could be happy with someone that couldn’t contribute financially, as long as they are contributing to the relationship in some other ways that make it equal. Being from western Kansas, I grew up around many families where the man worked all day every day on their farm or in the oilfield, their wife was happy with staying home maintaining the house and cooking

KBird · Answer

I wouldn't care. I am making my own living, so I can afford to take him out :)

But I do like it to be shared. (I pay, then he, then I, etc.)

I dont need to date someone for money, however if a man is broke because he's lazy or isn't doing anything about it, thats a big turn off for me.

Anonymous · Answer

My girl is TERRIBLE with money. She's not a gold digger or a free loader, she genuinely wants to be as independent as possible and pays whenever she can, but the poor thing just really doesn't understand the concept of saving money

I've given her 1,000s over the years, maybe 10s of thousands, just to keep her on her feet and help her out of trouble that she inevitably falls into financially

But I make enough to where I'm able to do that and I love her way too much to ditch her over some numbers

letuswaltzforthedead · Answer

As long as the guy isn't untrustworthy with money, I don't mind. I rather focus on other reasons to date them. I have an idea of the life I want to live and the family I want to have (which would kind of be a big one). If the guy can't or doesn't want to help financially, he can help in other ways.

RedStiletto88 · Answer

Is he broke because he went through some difficult times and is working to overcome them? Or is he an unmotivated lazy slob?  I have never been attracted to the second type.

Anonymous · Answer

The important thing isn't where you start but where you end up.

This such a great question because it allows one to stay clear of the women out there that wouldn't love if you were broke. You want marriage to work? Find someone who would love you only for you. You can build later but if she dates you and you lose everything she is walking out the door too. That ain't a wife or a girlfriend. Y'all know what that is.

boredgal · Answer

No. And it’s not that I can’t afford to buy food for myself but the little things matter. Just a simple gesture that you’re actually interested would be nice for example, picking her up and taking her home.

itsalyssaagain · Answer

Well I wouldn't date someone for money, I make my own money... I would date someone for quality time and other similar reasons lol. HOWEVER, I wouldn't date a bum...

DermalPunch · Answer

My ex was broke when we met. We stuck by each other and he was making nearly 200K when we separated. I never worry about money. In the words of my late grandfather "money must come".

JustADudePlayinADude · Answer

As long as they are doing something, like being a good housewife, and not wasting my money, I probably wouldn't mind. But that assumes I'm financially stable enough myself to support them.

TonightYouu · Answer

Yes money is a big killer in a lot of relationships it’s always best to not lead with your wallet

exitseven · Answer

I would never want to base a relationship on how much money somebody has. Besides , you can't buy love. You can't even put a down payment on it.

2Wheels · Answer

I have multiple times. I seem to attract guys that are really bad with money and always broke. 😅

Staximus · Answer

Yes I would, but I'm not going to just support dead weight either. Unless I magically strike it rich, she's going to have to pay her own bills just like me

BlueScorpio · Answer

Probably not. What happens if you get married and start a family? They won't try to provide for their own kids? Not good.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm not dating a girl for money. I'm dating her for companionship and sex. So absolutely I'd date someone who offers no financial incentive. She does need to offer other incentives though.

ZenJen444 · Answer

I'm not sure I get this question. To my understanding he's a cheapskate or broke. So no I wouldn't date a guy like that.

Would you date someone who offered no financial incentive to date them?

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