I’m 29 and he’s 49. Is that too old for me?

Question

I really like this guy but there is a significant age gap between us I’m 29 he’s 49 is that too old for me?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

The rule of thumb is half your age plus seven if you are dating younger. So his cutoff is 24.5 + 7 = 31.5.

That’s a bit out of range but not too bad. I think people in big age gaps can still have lots of fun. But for long term it’s tougher. For that to work you and him need to have almost perfect chemistry. He should be able to communicate with you and easy as he communicates with himself and vice versa.

Anyway you are a grown woman. I also really hope he isn’t a sugar daddy. However you can make your own choices. It’s not like you are a teenager.

If you really mesh with him (and it’s not just the honey moon period) it can work out. But tbh I wouldn’t expect it to last forever otherwise. But you two can have fun while it does.

I predict you will likely break up with him first. When that day comes really try to give him the same respect as you would to a man closer to your age.

Some women think that older men are bullet proof because they show their emotions even less than younger guys do. But their not. I dated a much younger girl who completely ghosted me (for no obvious reason) after 9 months of dating. Never heard from her again.

In the back of mind I knew that was a risk so I was semi prepared for that outcome. But young or not it still hurt a lot though. So when that day comes treat me him the same way you would treat a 30 year old (who did nothing fundamentally wrong). He’s still human.

WindAtMyBack · Accepted Answer

Would you be joining his life? Or would you be an equal? He's going to be in a different place in life. He'll probably be more settled and established. He'll have more of a routine than you do. He will have more possessions and maybe own a house. So would you be joining his life like an outsider?

Will you be missing any stages of life? Will you be mostly hanging out with his older fiends? Or will he be hanging out with all your young friends and looking out of place?

If you go to the grocery store on Friday night to get a loaf of bread and see all the younger people your age out having fun, will you look at them and realize you are with some old guy getting a loaf of bread while they are having fun?

If you are OK with these types of things, and a lot more, and have thought it through, no he is not too old for you.

Age is NOT just a number. There are very real difference.

Greergr · Accepted Answer

If you feel comfortable and you are safe, it is okay in my eyes. It's no secret that relationships like this can have power imbalances. But you are 29 and a fully developed person mentally and physically. You are undoubtedly fully settled into adulthood and have a high level of maturity. I think a 49-year-old man and a 29-year-old woman could have similar hobbies and lifestyles that suit one another. You must be safe and ensure that your financial and personal beings don't become too muddled too quickly. It's entirely natural for couples to become intermingled over time on those things, money is being shared, and you start spending most of your time with them. I think you mustn't let a person get leverage financially or emotionally over you. You have to set those boundaries and make sure he follows them.

MrsTurkleton · Accepted Answer

Not at all. It’s not as if you are 19 and in that easily-Influenced phase of life.

At 29, I guess you know what you want and it’s him. Go for it.
I went out with a guy who was 42 a couple of years ago. It was one of the best years of my life so far. I’d love to have that time back.

Pinay_ako · Answer

Close your eyes and feel your heart… imagine life without him… what do you feel?

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Yeah its very rare that an age gap of 20 years will result in a genuine lasting connection. The older person would have to be in exceptional health so as to not leave the younger person a widow/widower, and they would need to relate to eachother. The odds of that happening are so small they feel like zero.

You do see women who go after much older men, but most of the time they are gold diggers who divorce the guy to get half his money and stuff, and then they go find someone younger to actually be with.

This is why prenups and only dating someone who shares your hobbies are important.

Ill_made_Knight · Answer

That's your decision and no one elses. I've been at theotherend of this split once and my concern was that it would eventually be very unfair to her as I aged and my health started to decline etc... something to consider, but only you know the answer... best of luck with this.

Theabcking · Answer

No. There are guys that are 40 and they date 23 year old women. Plenty of women in their early 20s date older because are more financially stable and are looking for something serious unlike the guys in their 20s who just wanna hookup or who jerk off, no job and complain about women not giving them sex.

laurieluvsit · Answer

Any legal age is acceptable if both are in agreement. I am not sure why that opinion is so toxic but I always get unhappy faces when I say it. I am all about freedom and consent.

Adam1978 · Answer

That is 100% your decision. He certainly won't mind. If you think life time commitment then you will become a caretaker after a decade or two. And when you are ready to retire he probably as good as dead. So you would spend most of your golden years alone with some visits from children and grandchildren.

hahahmm · Answer

Depends... and my comments/advice are only if you're looking for eventual marriage or very serious: it's probably less of a bad idea than a 29 year-old guy with a 49 year-old woman. Make sure the guy is open to having kids otherwise this is a dead end that you'll regret in 5-10 years. Make sure he's a good dad type for the same reason.

DannyUk2017 · Answer

Yes it is... i'm 40 and i dream at one of 20...😈🤣😉
Just kidding, go with the flow, as long as u won't feel "used" taken for "granted", just make sure u won't end up in one of these situations that you would feel like a "sugar baby"...

HelperDude · Answer

If you are here asking the question, than yes. It obviously bothers you or makes you feel some kind of way. That likely won’t go away and will ultimately ruin the relationship. I have personally seen it play out for a cousin of mine. What is too old or young for you? (Minus something illegal) is different for everyone. If you find someone half your age that loves you, is honest, has things in common with you, and so on than what does age really mean? Not much. I know plenty of divorced couples that are around the same age as each other. True love is worth grabbing onto and never letting go.

MrCommodore · Answer

I think yes it is slightly too old, if he was 10-12 years older I think there is a really good chance for long-term happiness. However 20 years is quite a large gap and within another few years into a relationship there could be issues with compatibility and the relationship could eventually collapse.

slatyb · Answer

No one can answer that but you. There are advantages and disadvantages to having an older partner. The main disadvantage is obvious -- they will be old while you are middle-aged (think 55 and 75). There are many happy couples with a 20-year age difference.

TransAm85 · Answer

I was 25 when I met my now husband who was 33 at the time. I thought he was a little old, but the sex was 👍 Now I am almost 37 and he's 45 and we'll be married 9 years at the end of this month. It's up to u and how u really feel.

Wade12345 · Answer

It's not too old. I know a couple with a 20 years age gap and they've been married for over 30 years now. He was I think 39 or 40 and she was 19 years old when they got married. I was a little kid, and my mom accused him of "robbing a cradle". lol.

humanearth · Answer

That like me dating someone that's one of my kids friends

But your an adult, go live your life how you want to.

See your different then me. I have a thing for girls that are the exact age as me.

I don't like them younger or older than me, but the same age

Autember · Answer

I honestly think age is just a number after like 25 years old haha so no I don't think that's too old! I think you can find a soulmate/partner in anyone regardless of age. 🥰

RolandCuthbert · Answer

Well, you are almost 30. So at least you are of age. If you were like 19-20. . . I would have concerns. But the age gap isn't an issue. It is the age of the younger person.

HighValue · Answer

No, it is fine. You are both 6 years away from your ability to have healthy kids will decline, so if you two want a family together you both still have time.

Anonymous · Answer

Personally I wouldn’t do it but hey it’s your life you know it better.
However I got to say if you are asking this qs deep down you know it’s wrong.
He is almost 50. My dad died at that age.. and he left behind 2 adult kids. Why is he even digging an almost 30 years old women.
I’m 30 oldest I’m dating is 34! Pushing 35 worst case.

Do how you feel

altaboy · Answer

I don't think it is a problem. When I was 28, I was in a relationship with a 42 year old lady. She was a wonderful person. I loved her very much. It just didn't work. She was divorced, and I was quite intent on getting married. She was happy to be with me, but she wasn't going to marry anyone at that point. I should have been more understanding.

Anonymous · Answer

It depends on your priorities. But a lot of women really care about what friends and other people think about their choices (probably more than guys do), so bear that in mind. It could cause problems.

Soremain · Answer

You're not a kid anymore. You don't need to ask anyone's approval :D Do what feels right for you.

dustybiker · Answer

At that age it doesn’t really matter. Just be happy.

Robbey · Answer

I would not give another moment’s thought about the age difference. If you really like him, date him!  I’ve dated men that much older, it’s definitely a different dynamic but worthwhile.

Shayyyy1 · Answer

Its up to u to decide that or not. Personally I wouldn't go beyond 10 years older generation gap and all that but if u guys get along and communicate well with each other I don't see a problem. Again it is ur choice on the matter.

Zolly99999 · Answer

Are you both happy and having fun? Then who cares what others think !!

sheikalana · Answer

Do not focus on the age. Focus on his true intentions, green/red flags. Love can literally happen at any age.

wingattebaby16 · Answer

honey, what matters is do you love him? and does he act and look younger? i am 28yo and my man is 46yo. My adopted mom is 40 and my adopted dad is 58yo

BlueScorpio · Answer

You're of bothe age but that's a pretty big gap. If you guys have a kid or get married chances are he will pass before he even really gets to know them unless he already has kids.

EmmaMary · Answer

Personally I would be somewhat more concerned about perhaps unfortunately becoming a young widow... I do fully realise that I could possibly "go" before him.

Anonymous · Answer

If you are asking this question something tells me deep down inside of you the age gap is bothering you because if it didn't I don't believe you would be asking anyone especially random strangers if this guy is too old for you.

20yearsolder · Answer

Nope, go for it. The time I was 55 and she was 30. The only issue was we were both married or otherwise we would probably be together today

PositiveNote · Answer

Nope! It's not too old. I've seen that spread many times and it's worked well. I my squeeze have a spread of 15 years.

Berethor · Answer

Old enough to be your dad but it's your choice, he likely wants you for your looks and fertility.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm your same age and dont judge. Love is love. However my only concern is what type of relationship will be in 15 years.

vduong1988 · Answer

it’s okay i have a friend dating a older guy and she had a child with him

scott04sa22 · Answer

My crush is 11 years younger then me. If your happy give it a try.

Avicenna · Answer

No, you are both adults. What matters is compatibility and personal chemistry.

Ironic_Method · Answer

If it works for you and you're happy, go for it. My wife and my partners are typically 8 years younger than myself and it's been great.

HippieVeganJewslim · Answer

No. Age is a number. Love is love. Muhammad at age at least 53 married 19-year-old Aisha. I once almost married Dawn Marie, who is 22 years older than I.

Jerre · Answer

Not at all. I am 51 and have dated many girls 18-20.

NYlatefun · Answer

Im biased as I’ve been with girls you get than you, but I don’t think it matters

JosyJosy · Answer

If you don't care, go for it. What you think is most important

AndrésC64 · Answer

Not necessarily. As long as you get along and have common interests, age is just a number.

OddBeMe · Answer

Pretty fckin wide age gap. But a 29 yr old has the faculties to make good decisions. A 19 yr old, ehh, less so. But be honest: was it his bank account?

maximumpower · Answer

That's something YOU (collective) should decide, not a bunch of anonymous social media drones. In the end - the only people you need to please are you and your partner.

Anonymous · Answer

yes. he's about to 50 and you're almost 30 (your life is just starting). i feel like those are 2 very different life paths. don't let this old guy drag you down.

kataang · Answer

Yea, that’s way too old. He’s 20 years older.

Jay3344 · Answer

It could be an experience…not sure it will last since the age gap will be more apparent as you both age

soulhunter · Answer

My parents were 20 years apart in age and had a fairly tale relationship

KostasKouvalis · Answer

Yeah, that's awkward as hell, but whatever floats your boat

Staximus · Answer

You're not a teenager anymore, it doesn't matter

AmandaYVR · Answer

Go for it. 🤛

Anonymous · Answer

No. But statistically speaking the odds of success are NOT in your favor with that wide of a gap.  I wish you luck though.

Twalli · Answer

In my pinon, more than 10 years is too big of a difference.

Anonymous · Answer

Na. Do you. Age is purely biological.

Idkwtfimdoing96 · Answer

yeah but you do you

JPresidente · Answer

If you can make it work, who cares?

VikingWarLord · Answer

That's how it should be !

mr4435669 · Answer

Nope.

zagor · Answer

Nah. If everything feels right go for it.

I’m 29 and he’s 49. Is that too old for me?

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