Everyone who's saving themselves for marriage, what are your dating rules?

[MAC1983]

I would like to make this a simple question, if there are any doubts, good comments or information I come by, I'll update it.

[kmg9150]

Why though? Intimacy is a huge part in that relationship, why wait till you sign a contract to find out they arnt satisfying your needs. Are you waiting to find out anything else until marriage? If she can cook, has debt, has a job, been married 3 times previously, if she's religious, farts excessively in her sleep? These are reason why marriages dont last. Not to mention, you will have no experience, women dont exactly want to tell a guy how to please her, its why women fake climax which to me is huge failure of fulfillment of duties.


Ultimately you do you, but I just would hate for you to have wasted all those years thinking its some huge thing as if a girl will be bound to you saving it for them, when its not. Have you ever been so hyped up about a toy when you were little, but then discover its wasn't really how you thought it would be... Yeah that somes it up.

[MAC1983]

That is an interesting reply. Not exactly what the question was about, but that's fine.

Good Will Hunting has an improvised line by Robin Williams about her wife farting in her sleep. Hilarious, but let's get back to the question.

The reason I posed the question is that the answers aren't as linear as you might think. (Before you think otherwise, I am not discrediting your points).

Let's use an example to show this. The reason for it is religious. The person, male or female, is taught no sex until marriage. Let's set that in stone.

What that means can vary wildly. There can be intimacy with outer course or the couple never seeing eachother naked until their wedding night.

You see why I made the question?

[RyanEC]

I would date a girl who wasn’t a virgin but I wouldn’t date a girl who is “easily available..”


I would only date a girl I felt a genuine connection with.
And I would date a girl who is feminine, ladylike and someone who tries to be the best version of herself.

[MAC1983]

What do you mean with "easily available"? 🤔 That could mean different things.

[RyanEC]

I mean I would date a non virgin if she had sex with a former boyfriend who is had a long term relationship with, but I would be turned off by a girl who has had casual sex in the past.

Like a girl who had one night stands.

[MAC1983]

Is that a standard you hold yourself to? Or have you only had sex within a relationship?
I'm only asking to insert the topic of double standards and shaming.

[RyanEC]

Yes.
I haven’t had a relationship that has resulted in sex so I’m totally clean.

[Anonymous]

Simply respect my choice and don't pressure me or make me uncomfortable in any way if happen to do so unintentionally just stop and change the topic laughing it if makes it weirder.

[MAC1983]

It might be hard to tell what makes you uncomfortable or not. Do you have a conversation about it?

[Opinion Owner]

Yh and they often push my boundaries by asking y I don't want to do certain things ir u certain levels of intimacy freak me out.

[fonduegirl]

I'm not saving up for marriage. I'd still like my boyfriend or girlfriend to not force me into something I'm uncomfortable with.

[MAC1983]

That's a given, I think. What you wrote is a bit broad, but since you're here what are your dating rules in particular?

[fonduegirl]

Don't snoop around. Don't be controlling. Be supportive and respectful. That's pretty much it.

[Jouth]

my rule for keeping my virginity is just to be really ugly

[MAC1983]

That really wasn't the question, @Jouth. It's OK.

And we have a saying in my country, which I'll now translate "To those who ugly love, beautiful they seem".

Are you saving yourself for marriage?

[Jouth]

I'm saving myself for a new car

[MAC1983]

I hope it's a beauty. 😉

[Jouth]

me also

[Anonymous]

I would marry only a virgin and I date to marry

[MAC1983]

OK, Male Anonymous. If you date to marry, and would only date a virgin, what are your dating rules before marriage? What is acceptable and what is not? This may seem obvious to you, but it really is not.

(And, this is outside the purview of the question, how many girls have you dated to marry that did not end in marriage? Is it cool to ask that?)

[MAC1983]

I guess not.

[Anonymous]

I only date virgins knowingly.

[MAC1983]

I don't know what that means, and it doesn't answer the question... A little bit more effort?

[Opinion Owner]

I try to date fellow virgins. So I would date a woman if I didn't know if she was one or not. But once I find out she is not I don't continue to date her.

[MAC1983]

Don't you think the last part, not questioning your preferences, is likely to cause the other pain?

Virginity is not easily a first date disclosure, but could you not be clear about it from the start?

[Opinion Owner]

I usually bring it up before an actual relationship is formed.

[Opinion Owner]

Often before the first date.