We had sex on our 6th date but we’re not exclusive and he says we’re not official yet. He wants to “get to know me more.” Should I drop him?

[Anonymous]

[VIVANT]

I don’t really understand what he means being together IS getting to know each other more. If it doesn’t work out then you break up. I see no problem with you all having sex- 7 out of 10 relationships are preceded by sex. It usually propels things when the person matters.

Sex is definitely not the epitome of love but ehh I just don’t like this “ we can f! ck but I don’t know you enough to say we’re dating’. Lol c’mon. LAME 🤦🏻‍♀️

The fact he is ok hanging out and having sex but can’t decide, is bs. He knows enough to know if he wants to be with you, knowing if it doesn’t work out you guys can split. There’s no contract or signing over property he’s really being unreasonably dramatic.

I’m not there and I don't know how this plays out irl. he also may be insecure and purposefully playing games bc he really likes you , I just dk

if you are having fun and enjoy his company there’s nothing wrong with that & it’s fine to continue bit if you are uncomfortable with his squeamishness, I’d walk.

Personally, I’d dump him. honestly he’s already irritating he and I don’t even know him. He’s just not being direct , I don’t like it.

[Asker]

Yeah I talked to him on the phone yesterday and he said he felt like everything went really slowly and then we slept together and it just went too fast and he needs to process it. I just don’t get it why he’d pursue me for over a month and take me out and then act like he’s unsure about us. He told me he wants a relationship but he’s unsure about us. A week ago he said he likes me a lot and wants more with me.

[VIVANT]

Oh myyyyy what an innocent Child 😂 it didn’t “happen” you both consciously decided to do it.

Hmm giving him the benefit of doubt, I think sex can impact people differently, id be willing to believe he just got overwhelmed if he grit he acted too hastily, but thus shouldn’t take him eons to recover unless he’s got some trauma.. which you never do know is possible. .

Ok what you need to do is decide what you are ok with bc we do why yes acting the way he is. And you may never know.

Take some tone he very honest with yourself. If this stays as us 1-10 how ok are you with that. If it develops into mire 1-10 how much are you hoping for that?

I think if you are less ok with it going where than you are hoping it DOES go somewhere, I think I’d walk away. probably best. If you are rather even, then it’s ok to see what happens😊 in my opinion.

[VIVANT]

(Oh the innocent child sarcasm was directed @ him kit you, in case it wasn’t clear😊)

[Asker]

Yeah I’m confused. He seemed to really like me and want a relationship and now he’s saying he’s unsure about us, but after he dropped me off yesterday he said he wanted to continue seeing me. So I don't know really.

[r0ckstarsgf]

depends on what you are looking for, if your looking for nothing serious then I guess you should feel it out but if your looking for something serious then end it IMMEDIATELY, he clearly just wants sex&fun and nothing serious so it’s pointless to continue the relationship/situation-ship.

[Shamalien]

When a woman gives sex before any commitment at all, forget marriage but at least some discussion of exclusivity, she goes in the slut bin. He will date other girls seriously and fuck you casually. If you aren’t okay with that and are gunna get toxic over it then get away from him.

[Asker]

I don’t think I’m in the slut bin. I’m not a slut at all.

[Asker]

We went on really expensive and involved dates for over a month and I never gave it up. I thought we were heading towards a serious relationship since that’s what he said he wanted from me earlier and wanted to see where things go.

[Asker]

So I’m not in a “casual” place. I’m the kind of girl guys seriously date, who are looking for commitment.

[Shamalien]

You had sex before you got any sort of commitment.

You can tell yourself all the lies u want but ur in the slut bin

[Drumlin2001]

Up to you. What do you want from the current situation? A relationship? Was the sex good? Can you not just enjoy whatever it is for a few weeks/months without labelling it?

[Asker]

Yes and yes. Sex was sooo good. He also went down on me a lot too. I loved it maybe too much and emotions ran high. So. The minute we weren’t together I felt sad.
He told me he’s not dating anyone else but that things got weird for us today and now he’s unsure of us.

[Asker]

He seems more unsure of calling us official.

[Drumlin2001]

You've only had 6 dates. You dont need to rush putting a label on it. Just go with the flow. Sounds like you may have cone on a bit strong and maybe need to talk to him bout keeping it more casual for now.

[MrCommodore]

Yeah he is definitely dragging it out, usually I eould know by date 3.

[Anonymous]

You need strict boundaries that you enforce. Now that you did not enforce them, you are thinking about dropping him because it's left you at a disadvantage. Yes you should drop him because you've made it impossible...

[20yearsolder]

Why not just continue to fuck him? If it bothered you so much you probably wouldn't have dropped your panties in the first place

[MikeInHawaii]

Yes! You can’t undo the sex you already had. But the two of you are obviously taking the steps of getting to know each other out of order.

[exitseven]

Maybe it would depend on how good the sex was.

[Anonymous]

No since he had sex with you and is still around, I don’t think he is trying to look for someone else, he just wants to know you more before committing to you

[Anonymous]

No, keep him end let him getvto know you more. While you are not exclusive yet, its probably best you don't sleep around.

[Anonymous]

He get what he wants...
So he don't mind even if u dump him.

[In_Trance]

why would you drop him?

[Asker]

I don't know maybe he just wanted sex and now he got it so he doesn’t care?

[In_Trance]

If you say so

[Paul_in_Indy]

On the other hand, he waited six dates. If he just wanted sex that was pretty patient.

[Asker]

@Paul_in_Indy yeah I agree. He told me I’m worth the wait and I believe him. Most guys would have bounced. It is possible I pressured him too much and got too clingy afterwards.

[EaterPeter]

Let's know each other without sex.

[Anonymous]

Yes, make his choice easier for him. 🙂