We are dating and having sex, but he says he is not ready for a relationship. Is he ising me?

[Anonymous]

We discussed from the beginning we want a serious relationship. We discussed the future while dating and having sex, how much children we want and in how many years time. We always looked at money aswell, he lost his job and has dept, finally got back a job too.

It's just recently we had a discussion saying he is not ready for a relationship yet or feelings yet and I dunno what that means.

I am yet to ask him about the future again.
But everytime I did he said he wants commitment.

I met his friends and parents,
but i am not allowed over by his parents which he lives with because i am unvaccinated.

He is only seeing me aswell.

I didn't know what exclusive meant before, now I know it means plans for the future.

Anyways. His ex girlfriend of 10 years got pregnant by another man and she took 30K from her boyfriend at the time to have the baby delivered. He thought it was his.

Updates

+1 y

Using* - typo.

Updates

+1 y

We have been seeing each other for one year.

Updates

1 y

One of his friends from childhood, has a wife who I happen to know for a while now, she gave me the some information on this guy I was seeing, she says she knows him to be mentally and emotionally unstable!

I wish I knew this earlier..

[slatyb]

I'm not sure what he means by "relationship". You are having one. It sounds like he's saying that he's not willing to continue as is indefinitely but he's not going to promise anything more than being pleasant when he's with you. He's told you how he feels. He's can't do any more than that. Whatever happened to him in the past is immaterial. It doesn't matter why he feels this way. It's up to you to decide if you want to keep seeing him, knowing that it's not going to lead to a committed relationship in the near future, maybe not ever. If you would like to be married sometime in the next few years, maybe starting a family, then he's a waste of time.

[OlderAndWiser]

Not necessarily. He is just fucking you without commitment and you are allowing him to do that, so he is relatively happy.

[Asker]

So what does that mean, giving all the info i stated above?

[OlderAndWiser]

Depends on how you define "using you." If that means having sex without any intentions of ever making your relationship permanent, then the answer is probably yes.

[Asker]

But he has intentions of a future with me.

[OlderAndWiser]

he also said he doesn't want a relationship now. How can he promise you anything in the future when he does not even want a commitment now?

[Asker]

Could it mean he is not resdy financially?

[Asker]

Ready

[OlderAndWiser]

If that is what he meant, he would most likely have already told you that is his concern.

[Asker]

He did several times

[Drooogie4]

Its definitely an excuse for him to be able to get relationship benefits without committing to you and it's shitty, I feel you there.
And it's been a year if him telling you this? I hate to say this, but I wouldn't plan on ever getting the relationship you want with this guy 🙁

[Asker]

He is seeing his ex , his friend confirmed it.

[PatriceONeal]

This girls obviously being used and not a single woman on GAG is in here helping her. Women really don't care about eachother. Lmao

All these girls chase chad then are flabbergasted why he hasn't made her their girlfriend after months of smashing her out. smdh

[Asker]

Someone could have cursed me again. Happened before.
But yeah.
Chad though?

[PatriceONeal]

Chad is internet slang for 10/10 hot guy that all girls want but can never land.

[Asker]

Thank you.

[Asker]

So if u date some1, yur not gonna have sex with them?

[PatriceONeal]

You continue to "date" him while he has sex with you, are the dates only at a bedroom or couch? You aren't getting his commitment but he's getting your p*ssy. Why would he buy the cow when he gets the milk for free?

[Asker]

Ok.
We star gaze as well. And buy food. Swim. Race / drive.

[Asker]

But money is a problem so if we save up we can get some stuff done.

[Sam_The_Savage]

He is not ready bkoz he knows he don't have future financially...

[Asker]

This is a different answer, people stated he is using me..

[Sam_The_Savage]

Not really..

[Asker]

Explain your not really.

[PatriceONeal]

Sam thinks you're dating a bum but girls don't date bums.

[Asker]

@PatriceONeal well he is financially struggling

[Sam_The_Savage]

Girl relax he is just not sure about his future financially... you know money is important for successful relationship. Don't listen to jokers & idiots.

[Asker]

Ok. So why all the sex? I just wanna hear your opinion.

[Sam_The_Savage]

Sex bkoz he likes you. Sex is just a reflection of love. He likes you but don't want to committee & take your responsibility bkoz of his financial situation.

[PatriceONeal]

Bro can't even speak proper English and you want his advice?

[PatriceONeal]

Sex is not a reflection of love.. lmao

[Sam_The_Savage]

Hmm I thought I'm on gag
But it's a English class. Lol.

[PatriceONeal]

Nah but English isn't your first language and you sound unintelligent.

[Sam_The_Savage]

Ofc I have to sound unintelligent otherwise how would you understand me. ?

[PatriceONeal]

Bkoz isn't English

[Asker]

His ex is another reason too

[Asker]

He might be still fucking his ex cuz he said he still loves her, and who says they love some1 if they haven't been seeing them recently

[Asker]

I spoke to a male friend of mine this morning who woke me up.

[Agape93]

Yes, like I said before.