My person “jokingly” said he wishes he was having sex with others?

[Clayaya]

My ex & I are working on dating again. I asked him if he was having sex with anyone else and he responded “I wish”. When he later asked me the same a month later if I’m intimate with anyone else I said the same “I wish”(I actually have no desire to be with more than one person sexually) (stds) he was very hurt by response though as was I. But why does he think he can say things to me but gets upset if I say the same exact thing? He always says it’s just a joke which most times isn’t funny. I feel like he’s gaslighting me & is is never authentic.

[EmbraceThePain]

Why did you say the same though?

Did he know you were also hurt by his comment?

Also, the "I wish" isn't supposed to be taken literally here. To me, it's another way of humans communicating something approximating a "no" without it being literal.

Although, for him, I don't know if he actually wished to be having sex with others, whereas you expressed you do not want to

So, why did you say the same? To also, hurt him or something?

It's like you said "oh, he said he wishes so I'm going to say the same thing because I didn't feel good about what he said."

[Clayaya]

I said it so that he understands how it feels and is more mindful of the the things he says. I feel like that is the only way for him to grasp how disrespectful it is.

[EmbraceThePain]

Did he understand your intention or reasoning in this?

[Clayaya]

He didn’t understand that initially but I explained to him that I don’t actually want to sleep with multiple people I said it was simply because he did and that’s when he responded that it was a joke & that he only said it once. When he actually said it twice & laughed it off when I told him that’s I brought it up to my friend. He’s very immature & not thoughtful at all. He just says anything that comes to mind.

[EmbraceThePain]

Okay

[Sparkie460]

You should keep him as your ex. He's very disrespectful to say that to you. He's basically saying he would rather be with someone else.

[Kelly6]

it means he only want you as friends with benefits even if he has girlfriend

[Clayaya]

What do you mean even if he has a girlfriend?

[Kelly6]

it looks like he wants you as friends with benefits only

[Kelly6]

Thanks for Mho