I'm so confused?

[Anonymous]

Went out last night with ex girlfriend, we started talking at dinner and she was telling me how she feels and felt about certain things. Was mad that I never took her golfing when I said that I would teach her but we broke up before May and so I never had the chance to take her out to do that... I went on my golf league trip like 3 weeks ago and she said I didn't even tell her I was going and that she would've loved to have gotten 17 fireballs deep with me (she actually had covid when I went) She would then say how I would never include in anything... but how am I supposed to when we're not dating? And barely talking... we went 2 months without seeing each other... and I liked one of her friends fb post like 2 weeks ago that said "if you see me out with someone, mind your business I'm doing interviews"... she was like, I guess that shows me where I stand and all... I'm just like all confused by this... we haven't been together since April... my head is just spinning... we stopped talking about it at dinner and I didn't wanna bring it up again right before bed cuz I knew she was tired and had to work early today... I stay over her place everytime I'm there... any advice on this would be great. Why would she say all this?

[Changiis07]

She sounds like she is venting about the whole break up and wanting you to put more effort into the relationship. It also depends why the break up even happened in the first place at it sounds like you both still have feeling for each other and trying to make it work. I say communicate with her because relationships if you're both trying to get back together will not get you to next level if you two don't have these uncomfortable conversations

[Asker]

More effort on my part? I'm the only one putting in effort. I've never stopped putting in effort. I'm always tryna see her, talk to her and hangout... she broke up with me over something that I did. Her communication isn't too good. at least not right now with me. She used to be pretty good at it with me back when we were dating but not at all now. I do wanna get back together but I don't know if she wants to try again...

[Changiis07]

I'm not sure. It's just by what you wrote down, then only you know you're doing your part which is good. You will need to talk to her then to know if you two will be able to make it work. If you were doing your part I don't why she wouldn't want to get back

[Asker]

I always show how much I care about her. I honestly love her but have never told her that. We never got far enough in our relationship for that

[Changiis07]

So have those uncomfortable conversations with her. If you feel she is worthy, you can see yourself with her then be honest and let her know what you feel and want for the future for the both of you. Also ask her what she wants and how you will help each other get there

[Asker]

I know what she wants. She wants to settle down and have a family. I want the same thing but she would always say I'm not ready. She's always had concerns and issues with me for that. I'm 6.5 years younger than her and I lack a ton of real life experience... where she has tons of real life experience

[Changiis07]

Now that makes more sense. So is she worth it to you to have a family with her? Could you see yourself marrying this person and being a great mom to your kids. I mean it's things you have to ask yourself is she worth it. If she is then you have to man up, start saving if you haven't already because marriage and kids will require a good savings amount. Marriage isn't any easier but getting through these obstacles now that you aren't married nor have kids will make marriage easier. Specially when you marry your best friend

[Asker]

She is worth it, I believe 100%. I'm crazy about her. I see forever when I look into her eyes. I want everything with her, marriage and kids. She would be a great mom. I have money saved up from living at home. She's already been divorced and I feel like some of the things that her ex husband did, I'm paying the price for it now...

[Changiis07]

So there's no reason to rush into it or feel pressured now if you aren't ready but you have to talk to her and let her know. Let her know you are not like her husband and if she needs time then give her time. But also let her know your plans so that she knows you are serious about it

[Asker]

We're not ready to have kids yet. She just started new job and we've been through so much over past 7 months... we'd haveta start dating again and then talk about when we would want to try for kids and all that, cuz all of that is a lot to talk about. Cuz there's so much that go into with having kids

[Changiis07]

Yes there's a lot that goes into it for sure