Person A plans to marry yet dates Person B who does not plan to marry. Is person A passing time OR hoping to change the mind of person B?

Question

Of course it will vary depending on many factors — just wondering what the most likely scenario is in your opinion. What do you think?

RosieMelts · Accepted Answer

I voted B because it can go either way. ⬅️➡️

With the amount of information given here, I think my next sentence applies rather well:

“Sometimes we change for the people we care about, and sometimes we hope others would change for us.”

We don’t have any idea what Person A or Person B has personality-wise: their drive or lack of it, motivation or lack of it, goals or the lack of it.

We don’t know how they think, what their love language is, their confidence, their personality, and we certainly don’t know how they view life or view their relationships.

Are they sympathetic? Indifferent?

Are they introverted? Extroverted?

This would all play an important role on how they view their own life (and where they want it to go), and how they view the life of the other person. What moves them to make their decisions.

In Society if we see something similar to this specific scenario, the stereotype that fits closest would be:

Person A is trying to change Person B, and is waiting for Person B to tag along. It’s possible Person A sees nothing wrong with marriage and marriage is the ‘superior’ to anything other than marriage.

Does it mean Person A is right in thought or course of action? It is highly dependent upon their personal relationship.

No two relationships are the same and everyone has different perspectives.

roxy_362 · Accepted Answer

As you said, the actual answer depends on many factors, a major one being how well Person A knows Person B. That would also determine if A sees oneself as going through motions, or hopes for a change of heart in B. Without additional information, perhaps the answer is somewhere between options B & C.

Lliam · Accepted Answer

It depends on a few things:

1. Why doesn't person B plan to marry.

Do they oppose the institution of "legal" marriage, itself?

Are they afraid of commitment?

Are they capable and desiring of full commitment but don't want marriage? I've known people who lived together all their lives as husband and wife but never got officially married.

2. Would person A be willing to commit to a lifetime together without getting formally married? Do they trust their partner?

Person A is the one with an unfulfilled desire. So it's up to them to deal with it.
Do they hope person B will come around to a formal commitment.
Do they love person B so deeply that they will accept them as they are.
Or should they seek a partner who share's their deep desire.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I think its because people just assume that they will get married and settle down one day and that that doesn't actually require any effort on their part.

Also it seems a lot of people don't talk about anything that actually matters when looking for a partner, they are more concerned with what music someone likes (ok so talking about yourself can be difficult but when asked the first thing pretty much everyone will tell you about themselves is that they like music, well great, you and every other monkey on this rock) than whether or not they want to have children.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Probably hoping to change their partner's opinion about marriage.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Answer

It could be either of those reasons...

Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

Person A is dating Person B & Person B doesn’t want what Person A wants as of the moment however Person A is hoping Person B will change their mind & if person B changes their mind & wants what Person A wants hopefully Person A & Person B don’t end up like Person C & Person D. Person C & Person D got divorced.

ChiTown33 · Answer

I think that really depends on the person. Yes, actions MAY be an indicator of that person. But that doesn't necessarily define that person. You're an unusual person VIVANT and I could presume a lot about you based on that. But from what I've observed I'd only be right at best with half those assumptions probably. See what I'm saying?

NathanDavis · Answer

way more often than not... I see or hear they're really hoping and trying to change their partners' mind

and also quite often, I see or hear that one or the other is also trying to get pregnant as to sort of "force" what they want or "tie them up"

it can get very complicated at times as well... not a situation in which I would like to ever be

BoobMan · Answer

Kind of impossible to tell in advance. People change and they change each other when they date. So you never know--it's possible that Person B comes around and decides to marry Person A and it's possible that Person A ends up fine not marrying. Or they break up for that reason or they break up for one of the many, MANY other reasons people break up.

HighValue · Answer

Maybe person A is hoping to change person B's mind over time by proving themselves to them. Maybe person A can offer to agree to a prenuptial agreement and that will help change person B's mind about marriage.

Havthrills · Answer

Usually A is hoping to change B's mind. When it doesn't happen, A gets hurt and upset so causes an argument.

JDavid25 · Answer

C most likely.. I mean if you stay with a person especially for an extended amount of time, you are most likely hoping to remain with that person for a long time..

Alex8736 · Answer

Best bet is not constantly bringing up marriage so much or it might scare them off. Just go with the flow and let nature run it's course

KatherineJ · Answer

I’m going to guess either passing time, or hoping the other changes his/her mind. That sounds like a relationship that is going to end up with someone getting hurt.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Most likely Person A just really likes Person B and wants to be with Person B.

Twalli · Answer

If the woman ia person A, she's hoping to change him

maximumpower · Answer

Absolutely no way to make that decision based upon information given.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Here is how I see things I would hope to change person B's mind

Wubs3000 · Answer

I think there should be a third option: Person A accepts that they won't have marriage and instead live a life with person B like they were married just that they aren't officially.
Like life long partners but they aren't married

menina · Answer

Hoping to change Person B mind. A relationship like this would never work out because people rarely change their mind when it comes to marriage.

Aakash_Hangargi · Answer

Could be both Love makes you do foolish things - Jamie Lanister

RavVid · Answer

Think passing time because you see that. Person B won't marry Person A for 5 years but then they break up and Person A marries Person C within 6 months.

Dinklex3 · Answer

A is probably in love and hopes B will change their mind. Staying with them because they love them.

melanieeeB · Answer

Perason A hasn't learned that person A can't change someone else and is definitely wasting time.

OneManOnly01 · Answer

All I have to say is that both have weird names

KittyBox · Answer

Person A is just disrespecting Person B's wishes, if he/she doesn't want to marry, no amount of time or peer pressure will change that.

loveslongnails · Answer

They're hoping the other person will change their mind because they love person A and don't want them to leave.

exitseven · Answer

I picked B. It could be both. It also could be that person A is just in it for the sex.

MikeInHawaii · Answer

Person A is probably female. They think they can change men.

OddBeMe · Answer

Passing time is also partnering with the guy who brings out the best in you…I’m guessing. Who cares about a piece of paper?

WhitneySnow · Answer

Hoping to change their mind

Jennz6 · Answer

I am passing time

Andres77 · Answer

Passing time but hoping for the best

blondfrog · Answer

hoping to change their mind.

Guy13 · Answer

Tough situation.. trapped ⁉️

legalboxers · Answer

-blinks-

humanearth · Answer

B most likely

Philyouup · Answer

they are wasting the time, sadly.

Person A plans to marry yet dates Person B who does not plan to marry. Is person A passing time OR hoping to change the mind of person B?

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Person A plans to marry yet dates Person B who does not plan to marry. Is person A passing time OR hoping to change the mind of person B?

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