Someone saying they will see how they feel means they don’t really want to right?

[bbhhgirl]

My boyfriend really makes me feel like I am a bother to him when I need him for little things. I try not to ask him to do anything. The most he has done is had to come get me because I broke down on the freeway once , I had to stay with him for maybe three days till my car was done and the rest was really just spending time with him. Today he gets his son for three hours , he asked me to come help clean up and come over after he was done with his son. So I told him I had to get tags for my car tomorrow so I can’t drive so I could still come over he would just have to come pick up me and my daughter tonight and take her to school I said depending on if he is too tired. He says “ he will see how he feel”. It just hurts my feelings because I will struggle and not ask for any help and hide it but when I ask for a little I feel like such this burden and makes me just rather be by myself.

[SteveSmith1985]

Yes, I think it's safe to say that "see how he feels" in this case means he doesn't really want to. (or rather, isn't sure he'll feel up to it). I can sorta see where both of you are coming from. It sounds like both of you have a whole lot "on your plate".

I don't know how far away you live from each other, but a part of me understands him not automatically "really wanting to pick you up tonight, get your daughter to school in the morning on top of whatever he already has going-on. I really don;t know if that's like 10 minutes out of his way, or an hour. But it might just not be an ideal day for you to be able to come over. You each just have too much going on for it to make sense that day.

I don't know if it's fair to have expected him to "really want to" pick you up tonight and get your daughter to school in order to see you tomorrow. That really depends on how often you get to spend time together and "how big a deal" it is, for you two to not be able to see each other this particular time. There's a huge difference between someone you see very regularly, and someone you only get a chance to see twice-a-month or something.

But...

I think that what you've expressed here about "feeling like a bother" and not feeling like you can come to your boyfriend for help is SIGNIFICANT. I think that you do need to have a talk with him about this. You shouldn't feel that way in a relationship, and I would imagine, that he would be surprised to find out you feel this way. He likely would have a problem with leaving you feeling this way, and be willing to make some efforts to change that.

Depending on things like how far away you live, and how often you get to see each other; this may or may not be the best example to use to illustrate your general point of "I feel like a bother when asking for help". But I think you should have a chat about this... because you SHOULDN'T feel that way in a relationship. 🙂