
If so then why?

If so then why?
I was before I met my wife. It was "wonderful"... lol, had so much "fun" and really gave all my love to them. But it was unrequitted. I couldn't even see how blind I was... frankly I was the mouse that was caught by the cat, thinking it was one thing.. when we all know what the cat thinks of the mouse.
I got there because of my own emotional issues that distorted my view of myself and the issues of the woman whom was in essence... selfish and needy as hell. She was sick emotionally (from childhood and divorce and who knows what else) and the red flags were hitting me in the head but couldn't see them. She kept pulling me in and I wasn't smart enough to completely detatch. I was hooked in and she knew how to play me to get what she wanted.
Women manipulate, so do men.. but women can REALLY manipulate and are crafty at it. It took a lot of pain by my now wife to pry me out of that emotional mess which was more like a ship stuck on the rocks, where I had expended so much of the prime of my life on a wasted effort. Letting go of the past... is hard, but essential and a process.
And that's why I say continually out here, people need to... be careful, be clear about what you want, date to understand yourself and needs, learn about yourself, heal your wounds, get educated about people and relationships, etc.. GAG Is a GREAT place to do that, but not the only one. People can get stuck... I was stuck, people can make bad choices and some choices are imposed upon them they never wanted. We all are works in progress, so accept that and move forward on the "chess board of life".
Life isn't over until it's over, so you got time. The friendzone... noone want to be there. If they do, something is wrong and they need help. It's a pointless place to be.
And then people up the anti by making it "with benefits". I never did that, but that is another level of messed up. Not everyone is the same for how impactful that is, but it has to be quite damaging for many. I divide people into sensitive and less sensitive emotionally. Those sensitive... this would create a mess for their future potential mate.
It's Sunday... God (love) help us!
Good luck to you sir!
Once again, let me issue this Primer On "The Friendzone":
Should you maintain the friendship? Is there anything on a non-romantic level that appeals to you about her? Intellect? Hobbies? Professionally?
(A very good sample question to ask yourself here is: Can you ever see yourself doing business with her? Could you see her as your Realtor? Your Attorney? I am using examples from my professional dealings.)
If the answer is YES, maintain the friendship.
If the answer is NO, and you really just want her physically, then politely say goodbye.
Thats so highschool. people dumb if they still wanna be friends with someone who turned them down, because they’ll never truly just be friends. It’ll always be that one sided love. In HS, i remained friends with guys i turned down but i made up for it bt hooking them up with my friends so that they wouldn't still try to get at me. Only temporarily worked but it was a try. Then when they tried to shoot their shot a second time, i ended the friendship because they didn't respect my first “no”
If someone only friends with someone hoping it'll be more, then they're putting themselves in what people call "the friend zone" but not me. I wouldn't call anyone who does that a "real" friend but that's just me🤷🏼♀️
Usually the other person is well aware that the “friend” has feelings. Women especially have stronger intuition to pick up on it.
In a perfect world relationships would start as friends first and then build to love. In that scenario you both get to know each for real. But that’s not very common unfortunately. Especially nowadays.
Anyway as a man I’ve had to tell women that I wasn’t interested in (but respected) where I stood a few times. It wasn’t easy because I cared for them and didn’t want to see them heartbroken. But I know that my honesty is a sign of RESPECT.
So it felt heartbreaking knowing I lost a friend. But I can live without that. Rather not torture someone.
So why is that so many people (particularly women) feel entitled to be “friends with” a guy they know likes them but not vice versa?
Opinion
39Opinion
Nah.
I move on if someone is clear they don't want to date, or I accept it and accept a platonic friendship.
I've had to cut contact with men who couldn't accept friendship, which is a shame because they'd have been alright friends if they could stop thinking with their dicks.
While that last part may be true for some of us but others it's hard to see someone you care about with someone else. Been there done that and did cut contact because of it
That's the appropriate thing to do.
If you can't maintain a friendship because you're stuck on a romance when that's not an option, the healthiest thing you can do is cut contact and move on.
Rejection happens and learning to accept and move on is part of being a well-adjusted adult and is literally the bare minimum to expect of another person.
Yes. I've been stuck in the friend zone for a long time. I have a crush on my guy friend. I met him when we were teenagers. We were friends. I told him that I like him more than just a friend and he turned me down. It was a unexpected experience for me. I have been through a lot over the 4 years. I have to find a way to tell him how I feel.
If he turned you down then that is that. Telling someone how you feel never changes their mind and if it does it's out of pity and validation seeking.
That is meaningless information. Not sure why you commented that.
You shouldn't tell him anything. None of the information provided changes that. He has turned you down. It's over.
You already told him how you feel. Repeatedly doing so changes nothing. I had a friend who told me how she felt multiple times. The answer was the same the last time as the first. No thanks not interested. It was never going to happen and I had to end the friendship because she would never give up. His answer will be no. Think about it. If you have a male friend that you have 0 interest in will his persistence change your mind.
I was that nice guy when I was younger and got raked over the coals on this. Then around 28 or so I started drawing the line and walking away. Some girls changed their minds but most never contacted me after that.
Anyway everything comes downs to respect. You need to (tactfully) tell people what they need to hear vs want to hear. I rather be lonely and still have my self respect vs. being exploited in the friéndzone. Self respect is everything.
Personally , have never suffered from " friend zone " because it always seemed a futile idea , I make intentions clear , always that Im dangerous to a degree , so if it ain't happening , and I wanted it to , then I'm outta there..
On a couple of occasions they have come a running but only 2/3 times over my entire life , so yep " friend " bs , just doesn't happen.
No that never happens to me..
I PUT PEOPLE IN THE FRIENDZONE 😎
I AM THE FRIENDZONE 😛
I PUT FRIENDS IN THE FRIEND ZONE😈
I PUT THE MAILMAN IN THE FRIENDZONE 👹
I PUT THAT-ONE-GUY-DRVING-THE-WHITE-VAN IN THE FRIENDZONE 🤡
✨keep your enemies close and your friends closerrr 🤞😜😏
In all seriousness though.. I either date them or dump them. I can’t take 40 plus friends with me to the Hampton.. lol I need a ride or die ish! 🤞🖤
Been in university for two weeks, with orientation starting the weekend prior. I became interested in a girl in my class, and I've felt awkward about it ever since. Last week I told her she is cute but that I'm not looking for anything with her. She is apparently talking to someone else already. Been hanging out with her friend group for different reasons, and I think it's fine now.
Sitting with or walking with her can feel a bit awkward sometimes, but that's more due to my social behaviour than any romantic feelings or whatever.
I distinctly remember you writing that the friendzone doesn't exist.
No. I am not in the friendzone. I haven't been since my 20s. In both cases, I was in the friendzone because the women started dating my friend. I had to maintain contact if I wanted to see my friends. It hurt like hell.
Yeah that sucks but that isn't the friendzone. The friendzone is where you choose to hang out with the woman and take her shoe shopping and listen to her problems. You were just stuck with her because she was dating your friend.
nope... I have never ever done something like pretend to be a friend with a woman, while I secretly or openly want to have a romance, or sex with her
I keep it simple and I make sense... we are either friends and just friends, or you are my girlfriend, nothing in between, nothing mixed... nothing weird going on, lol
Is there such a thing as the friends with benefits zone?
LOL there is such a thing as 90% of the time someone will catch feelings.
That’s called the f*ckzone. You want a relationship and all he wants is friends with benefits.
If your unhappy with it you need to be honest you are looking for a relationship and then stop doing it with him. You can stay friends with him but you will likely feel jealousy if you know he’s dating/screwing other girls.
Looks like you need to make a decision to draw the line here unless your content with the current setup.
YESS. I've tried doing little things to signal to him how much I like him. But the only thing I get from him is a 'hi' if I see him
He's not interested. That's okay, we can't be everyone's cup of tea.
I don't let that happen anymore. If a woman says "I just want to be friends" to me, it means "I don't want to see you again" and I delete her from my life.
Nope, for the most part of things... I'm not in the friendzone with any of the ladies which I have had personal interest in. If anything for the most part of things, I've walked out of the friendzone and have no communication with them. There are 1 or 2 ladies which I'm only acquainted with and that's it. Other than that,... I communicate with them very, very little to none of the time.
I was with a lovley woman i met a while back but i kinda moved pased it and now in the aquaintance zone and thats ok. I am doing my own thing.
i was stuck in the friendzone. i was hooking up with this guy for years. but he only dated high status girls from old money families. he had no interest in me.
I am but I didn’t find out until after we got married and even had kids. I tell her we should tell everyone we’re in a relationship but she is uncomfortable with declaring a status that would exclude her from having other “options” as she calls it. We do hook up but only in order for her to keep up the image of being spouses. It’s only like 2-3 times a week so she’s really holding back.
i am not friendzone i am option. my chooser is waiting that i'll be a oerfect person. he has other option. the thing is i choose too so good luck to us
I dont have female friends. So no more friend zones.
He had a girlfriend but yet is talking to other girls still
I'm not what women are used to in their dating pool. Many women in my area are so used to abusive relationships, that a healthy relationship where they are treated as a person and isn't full of drama is boring to them. I can't fix society 🤷♂️
That is a select group of women not all women so why worry about those?
From talking to people, it mainly the concentrate of my area.
Actually, many friend zones. Because I'm always too friendly rather than romantic. I show respect and friendliness, they take me for granted
Nope. Never experienced this. With girls I either went for it or I decided I wasn't interested
No. I never will be. I do not play that. If she is disinterested I move on to one of the four billion other women on the planet.
Yes, this happened to me once. He treated like a bro, and I secretly sighed for him.🙄
Anyone that believes in friendzone is absolutely a joke
Men and women are for relationship or just sex not freaking friends
I dont do the friend zone. It just comes off desperate to me. I don't know why
No. I have enough friends and I let that be known. If she's looking for friends she can find that in someone else.
No not really if I recognize a girl sees me as a friend then I stop trying to woo them and move. Sometimes you got to know when cut your losses.
I'm stuck in the "depression zone"
Literally just wanna kms dude
Well, not pretending that it is ok is a step in the right direction... It is ok to not be ok. We all have our downtimes.
I would say "pussy" or "coward" might not be accurate representations of who you are, there are definitely factors or events from the past that affect you and your decision making.
I do not know the specifics of your situation, but I am willing to be a listening ear, a source of support. You can say whatever you need to say, let out whatever you need to let out. I won't judge.
For me as a guy i friend zone girls I’m not physically attracted to so I don’t have as much high expectations as the ones I’m attracted to regardless if she’s interested in me or not
Lol, that picture is so funny 😂.
But nah, not crushing on anyone atm
Friendzone is not real to me. In my opinion many people put themselves into it.
Pretty much what I said/think as well
Been in the friend zone as a teenager and it didn't bother me.
Nope but I have been twice. Got out of it once. Dark times
friendzone is the obsession of the stalker incels.
Im never friends with a woman. So I've never been in the friendzone
That's not possible. I don't give women the opportunity to friend zone me.
No I am in a no-fly zone meaning the women just fly past me and don’t notice me
Lol no I simp for none
I am stuck in a no zone
You mean, there's someplace else I can be?
Not that I'm aware of.
I don't understand your question
Sorry. Not sure what I can do about that.
Thankfully, no.
I've been, not anymore tho.
Completely by choice
No, because I have a girlfriend
It has its own fucking zip code
from friendzone to endzone
I'm a better therapist than a boyfriend.
Not really.
Not really.
Nope
Thankfully not.
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