Guys, how do you reject a woman you don’t want to be with? Ladies, if he clearly doesn’t want you, how do you take rejection?

Question

ObscuredBeyond · Accepted Answer

This actually happened, more or less, earlier this year, when I had to tell her several times:

"I don't see that being a possibility, ever. I literally only started this PS4 section of co-op Far Cry gameplay one time out of charity, never expecting it to go this far. Because no one else would even read your post. What happened to your other co-op partners? Why am I the only one left?

And what makes you think I would want a relationship, when I can't even find time to reply to half your non-stop co-op gameplay requests? I even give you my schedule, so you know when not to drop a line when I'm working, and you do it five times anyway!

No other not-interested guy would even bother to supply you with that info!

Yeah, it sucks that the cashier at Tim Horton's is already in a relationship, and won't give you the time of day. But stalking her won't make things better! And I'm in Florida! You know how hard it would be for me to procure the relationship I want, with a woman living in Canada that actually does interest me? The logistics make my eyes spin!

Whatever your feeling for me is, sorry, I don't feel that way. I don't feel it, don't see it, and some of these present antics of yours are doing nothing to convince me that I'm wrong."

Cue the girl trying to hatch some scheme to smuggle me into Canada, to use me to continue stalking that girl, and then saying she would salvage me as a boyfriend if her plan to get the girl to leave her boyfriend didn't work.

Cue her then spelling out her entire crazy plan to me on Facebook Messenger, when I never asked for it.

Cue me giving her the whole Luke Skywalker "this isn't going to end the way you think" speech.

Cue her completely ignoring my warning.

Cue me, exasperated hitting the block button. Knowing I'd feel guilty about doing so, but feeling like she's left me no choice.

Cue her, trying to find every single back-venue means of contact she can, to scream at me for how horrible I am for blocking her.

All because I refused to cross over into another country and help her commit crimes against some random cashier that rejected her advances, because that's insane!

Reasons I'm single:

1. Most women aren't interested in me. Or aren't interested for the right reasons. The latter category will eventually prove who they really are, once I outlive my usefulness to them.

2. Of those that are genuinely interested in me, most of them live too far away.

3. Of those that don't live too far away, many of them are already married / in a relationship, and they know there are lines I won't cross.

4. Of those that are eligible, many of them are star-crossed. It could be anything; but the relationship is doomed from the start.

5. Of those that aren't star-crossed to never be with me long-term, the rest that seem to show any interest in me are often hideously ugly and / or next-level batshit crazy, well beyond my threshold for how much batshit I can take.

I seem to most attract women who are at least a 7 on the crazy scale, and never higher than a 7 on the hotness decile scale. But I've seen some get attracted to me that are a solid 2. 10-crazy and 7-hot is still the Danger Zone.

JustADudePlayinADude · Accepted Answer

I simply tell them I'm not interested without trying to hurt their feelings. I try not to lie, but I will avoid telling them the reason if it could hurt their feelings (like saying I'm not attracted to them). I know how hard it is to build up the courage sometimes, so I don't want to be an ass about it.

VIVANT · Accepted Answer

If he’s clearly saying he’s not interested, I move on. No questions asked, no problems had.. But I make sure it’s CLEAR. Not bc I can not handle a no, but bc I know life is not a pamphlet, or a punchline, people are varied, reactions to situations are complicated and unique.

Often when someone expresses interest in me not ready to deal with it and it’s only much later I have a positive reaction, by then if I make a move they think I’m playing games. People move way too quick— I wish they’d slow the F down.

As a result to my being slow to warm up, I’m aware I can appear uninterested even if that is not the case, simply bc I require mire time than most seem to expect & or are willing to give a person to adjust to the new situation.

So I make sure he’s saying NO before I go bc If things were reversed, I would like someone else to be patient with me before moving on themselves & I don’t want to be a hypocrite.

This irritates a lot of people out there bc even tho they claim they like “direct communication and no games from the person they are into” they also think everyone else should be a mind reader for their convenience.

I don’t care. I’m being clear. I will wait until he’s clear. Then I’m gone. 👋🏻

Reddy4it · Accepted Answer

Walking away…life’s too short

Cynicaldreamer · Answer

Simple, I move on with my life. I'm sure not going to beg someone to date me if he's made it clear he only wants to be friends or isn't attracted to me in that way... that's just common sense.

Yeah, it sucks and rejection is never fun, but that's his right. I usually just vent to anyone that will listen, mope a bit, and remind myself things could be worse... and then I get over it. Maybe not right away, but eventually I do.

NathanDavis · Answer

hmm, well... in my past experience

whenever a "random" girl would approach me with the intentions of a casual encounter, I would just simply and kindly let her know that I am really not into that kind of stuff myself, and since that is their thing, they do have experience approaching guys or even other women with those intentions of having some casual sex, a hookup or a one night stand and they really don't take it the wrong way or at least they did not show that with me

other times... when girls would also approach me but they were more familiar with me and they had different intentions like, they wanted to talk, to get to know me and know more about me... I would never reject that, because I am not against that, I do like to meet and get to know people and at that point is just what it is "I would like to get to know you better or more about you" so, we would do that... now, if they were a bit more forward or not in telling me that they wanted this because they also liked it for more, then I would just be honest with them, I always had a nice way to let them know that I either was feeling similarly to them or that I just was not feeling the same way, and in this case they were also very understanding about it

and, in the case of girls I was friends with, or acquaintances, classmates, coworkers... whoever knew me better and for a long time because well, we spend more time together on the daily and they end up having a crush or a very strong interest in me, I would never lead them on if I could tell they were feeling that way, so they just never had a reason to approach me and express their interest since they "knew" it was not reciprocated and with those who did approach me and let me know that they were into me this way, again... I just explain to them that we're not on the same page, so I just am direct but kind about it... lol "we don't feel the same way"

lastly, in the other cases in which girls would approach with any kind of interest... it was just easier for me to say that I did appreciate the interest and all but... I do have a girlfriend already so... sorry about that lol (=

The_Shadow_Dweller · Answer

If she confesses to me, then that is the point, I have huge amounts of respect for her. And I would not be a jerk to her, definitely. Even to other people too, hopefully.

The girl must have had a pretty hard time collecting her courage to confess to me. I would not let her lose her confidence just because I do not want to be with her!

With such an amazing woman, I would be as gentlemanly as I can. With respect, I would treat her to lunch or something, and then slowly but steadily, I would convey my true feelings to her. And the consolation part about 'It's not you it's me', is a given.

Maybe what I would be doing is a jerk move according to some, as I am not flat-out rejecting her. My justification is, that I just do not want her to feel lost in herself. I do not want her confidence, her courage to waver anyhow.

-----------------------------------

And if a girl rejects me. Well, in that case, I just move on to the next one. Girls are practical and brutal more often than not. Its better to ask them first, than developing feeling for them first. Although that is easier said than done, I would try that for sure, even when I know that I will be failing in it, falling for her first and then asking it.

Bexxiib · Answer

It hurts but I don’t show it. I would expect the rejection to be kind and sweet and not plain rude as I’ve only ever had rude rejections that hurt more. Here’s a story of the sweetest one I’ve had.

I was in love with my best friend. 2 of my girly friends and I went to meet one of their boyfriends after class, my guy friend was also in the same class. One of those friends blurted our “SHE HAS A CRUSH ON YOU!” And I cried and said “I didn’t want him to know!” And I ran to the girls toilets. One friend stood by the door outside and my best guy friend came in and we talked. He calmed me down, put music on and rocked me, it was clear he felt the same way. After a while we walked to the train station, he grabbed my hand as we walked. When we got to the train station he said. “I don’t want to be with you because I don’t like you…in fact I’m in love with you…I just don’t want to be with you because I’m scared to lose you.” And I understood exactly what he meant, our friendship was so so so strong that he was scared to lose his best friend if we were to break up. It wasn’t as hard because I was rejected in the nicest way possible. But rejection is hard nicest way or rude.
In the nicest way: I cry, I distracted myself and I found my feelings to be gone within a week.
Rude way: I cry, I’m upset and I’m angry, I do distract myself but the feelings towards that person are still there along with anger and hatred towards them. I found those feelings to go within 2-3 weeks.

ChiTown33 · Answer

There is NO good way to reject someone. And it always hurts me to do it. I guess I try tell them I'm flattered by the fact that they thought enough of me to give her that kind of significance in her life. That I don't want to waste thier time because they deserve a person who going to feel about her the same way she feels about him. But I don't know how women take it. I know to hear those words from a woman while maybe well intended means very little. So I have to think women feel very similar. All you can do is do your best to let the other person know that your rejection is NOT personal. I always advise guys on here don't take it personal which I'm sure is very hollow. How can having someone tell you you're not good enough for them not be personal? It's very personal! But that's the point. You need to keep in mind it's perception. I asked out a woman I'd known for a couple years. I'd always liked her. I would have dated her if she'd ever shown that level of interest in me. Finally after a couple years. she started acting very flirtatious to me. I'm not a complete idiot I knew the signs. I asked her out, she accepted, then a week later she changed her mind and rejected me. I could get into the psychology of what transpired. Regardless of the reasons why, she didn't handle it very well. Again I could give reasons why I think she rejected me. But it doesn't matter why. She simply didn't want to date me, and that's all that was truly relevant. People internalize rejection as they're rejected because there's something wrong with them. They take it personal and never consider that it's not them but rather the person doing the rejection that has the problem.

So I know this was a long winded response but I guess what I'm trying to say is I try to make clear to her, that my rejection of her doesn't decrease HER VALUE in any way. It's NEVER wrong to care about another person. Never feel embarassed for daring to do that.

Googlemyahoo · Answer

The worst thing I did…. I liked a girl from my school for awhile and was working on her but not really getting anywhere. After hockey I kept seeing this attractive girl hanging around the arena and we started talking.

One night my friends said nothing was going on so I asked the girl from hockey if she wanted to do anything. She said yes so I drove across town to pick her up. She introduced me to her entire family who were there for some occasion. Then we rented a movie and returned to my place. We started messing around and playing and tickling when phone rang.

Pick it up its my friends. They’re all getting together and the girl I like from school is coming with her friends and wants me to come. I was like I thought nothing was going on wtf.

So being a giant douche I told them I’d go. I told the girl I forgot about plans I made and had to drive her home 🫤 then went out with my friends & the other girl….

How did she take rejection? That happened in like 1992 when I was in grade 11. Just this year my son played baseball & I’m walking in & there she is. Our kids are on the same team she did a double take and muttered asshole lol.

DaveJord · Answer

Only happens to me on dating sites. I used to try to say something nice to then, because I know how it feels. As guy you got message 10 to 20 women to get maybe one or two of them to message you back. Most just view your profile, and ghost you.

So I really appreciate a women that actually messages you first. But I learned there's no good way to let them down easy and when try they seem to get thier feelings hurt more. So now I just ghost them.

In person, if its a stranger... I just say I already am dating someone else. If they know me, then I say I am not looking to date anyone. The last two literally lived withing 200 feet of me, I just told them that I don't date people who live that close to me... because if it doesn't work out its just awkward. Becsuse there will be other women.

BlueScorpio · Answer

Same as anyone else who gets rejected, you feel a little sad/disappointed. Maybe some people feel like they aren't good enough. I had a old crush in middle school call me hideous ones, oh it was heartbreaking but you get over it eventually. It just means they aren't the one for you and that one is still out there.

NottaNatty · Answer

I've actually had to do this a few times and I honestly have to say Women can be just as persistent as guys here, but you just gotta shut down all there advances and if it come to a clear point just say your flattered but no. Also using the words friend and bro seem to give a hint without totally upsetting them.

Heolurt · Answer

Females handle rejection poorly, like they resort to some crazy shit like calling the guy gay, false rape accusations, breaking stuff, hitting the guy, shit like that.

If I was to ever get to a point where I could be the one rejecting the female, I must be at a point where I feel like it must be fake that she would want me and honestly I already am kind of there, I know there's a small bit of hope in me, like a flame at the end of the wick about to die out.
However if I was to reject a female, I'd make her reject me, I'd simply ask if she has problems seeing, or if she thinks life is like Disney, because I'm not some cursed prince who's going to become handsome after a kiss, ugly is how my face is going to stay. She'll end up rejecting me herself, that's if she doesn't change her mind after seeing my face to begin with.

ohsheeT · Answer

The word rejection is pretty strong I don't reject I mean I just tell them that I can't I'm not interested because of whatever the truth reason is but it has nothing to do with them it's because of a certain reason and that's just the way it is I don't mean any harm I don't mean to hurt them but I mean I've had to do that before and I've had it done to me before but I've been rejected LOL I don't like that word

PeteBy · Answer

Say 'I am flattered, you're really pretty but I am not looking for that right now'.

Covers a lot of bases. You've complimented her and rejected her in a gentle way.

Strange how a few words correctly worded can make her walk away feeling quite good about herself despite just being rejected.

TacosRAwesome · Answer

I wouldn't have a problem if I were to ask someone out and they reject me. My issue is actually being in a relationship with someone, everything about their actions says "fuck off" and when you try to "fuck off" they act like you're in the wrong.

Avicenna · Answer

If we're talking about interactions IRL, women are usually very good about picking up when a guy isn't interested if he is somewhat unenthusiastic, so that's generally how I handle it. I'm usually very good at picking up on actual interest rather than a woman just being friendly and making convo. If I think she's just being friendly, then of course I am friendly as well.

xJeremyx · Answer

"Hey. I really appreciate that you took the effort and drummed up the courage to tell me about your feelings. I am sorry, but I just do not think or feel about you the same way you do about me.

I hope we can put this behind us, and continue to be friends, as I still value your friendship.

Thanks for understanding, and sorry for upsetting your day."

chicosuave · Answer

I had a girl ask Me to go to prom with her. She was not my type so I told her I'll think about it. Then she came back and I told her I was already dating another girl hoping she gets the hint. She did but she never wanted to talk to me ever again.

Jennz6 · Answer

Ignore him, there are a lot of guys that want me.

AviatorTom · Answer

When it's time to break up, you simply be honest and tell her "It's been nice, but I don't think we're made for each other." and walk away. As a guy, I expect the same from a woman when she breaks up with me... honesty.

Phoenix98 · Answer

Im drunk is so what I’m gonna say might be mean but but I say I’m not interested and I try to be respectful because even though women can be really cruel I still don’t wanna hurt their feelings.

Thavk goodness for spell checks.

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

I’m a ghoster now because literally every woman i ever rejected reacted violently or psychotically.

Datboi65 · Answer

This may sound brutal to some, but this is the best way I know how. I just completely ignore them. They eventually move on. No need for the "you deserve someone better" comments, because it's berating and comes across as though you think you are somewhat better than them.

Aerolyn · Answer

Ironically, my first ex was the only girl that I ever rejected.

I just said no, but she kept trying and her friends kept trying to convince me to date her despite my constant rejections and I eventually caved in.

Regretted it.

macjets007 · Answer

I've said things such as "I'm not looking for a relationship right now" or "I need to concentrate on myself right now". Sometimes saying what it actually is can be hurtful so.

TrueConfection · Answer

My exboyfriend didn't want to marry me, so I left him and met someone who did. The end.

Makeushiver · Answer

I've only tried twice and each time I was overruled

Still-alive · Answer

Gtfo bitch *kicks* jk lol. Nahh ill be gentle and just tell her im not interested. No use beating around the bush about it.

petitedollbabee · Answer

Accept it and find a way to move on, no point dwelling over it.

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

I just thank him so I at least know that it's not going to work out... then I'll go home and be sad for a few days.

Jaggermoves12655 · Answer

How do I stop getting notifications from these clingy ass posts

mobiusforniner · Answer

I think you're a great friend but im not interested in dating...

Havthrills · Answer

I would tell them I'm not interested. I actually wonder how that would be. I've never been in that situation.

OlderThanILook · Answer

I would either say she's not my type or that she should find someone better because I am 100% not going to live up to her expectations

Adam1978 · Answer

Ignore if she doesn't ask straight out, otherwise simply turn her down cold. So she doesn't linger and keep trying.

Lustybliss · Answer

I don't take rejection well only because it's a rare experience for me. It leaves me in a state of shock actually.

Jamie7f8dx · Answer

Often times guys will say something to the effect of; "i'm moving soon", "i'm not looking for a relationship with anyone right now (which is always a lie)." or "I don't like you like that, move on".

Open2It · Answer

You've complimented me with your persistence and patience, but the decision I've come to is this... I would rather make the gravest of mistakes than surrender my own judgment.

Please take this as my final answer. It must be no.

Rockstarrrrr · Answer

I just act like I don't know what's happening.. I think it makes it less awkward for both of us and so that I don't hurt her feelings or anything

TroyDT · Answer

I am honest, but try to be gentle. I might say, "You can do far better than me." and mean it because he will interested while I am not, so he will be better for her.

FriendlyDrugDealer · Answer

I tell them gently and try to bring them down slowly so it doesn’t hurt as bad

Lionman95 · Answer

Not sure if I´ve ever been in the situation to be honest...

DrBanana · Answer

I will tell them the truth and say im not feeling the chemistry here and politley apologise i tend not to make it into a huge thing if i can or simply say no thank you if i needto be blunter.

Beardedman1996 · Answer

Simple I’m sorry but I’d rather stay friends or I’m not looking for a relationship right now usually does the trick

RavVid · Answer

I don't talk to her and shut it down if she initiates it.

boredgal · Answer

I just cry for maybe a day or two then move on with my life

AsaKyo · Answer

I would only ask a guy out if he obviously showed a lot of interest in me. Otherwise, I wouldn't even put myself through it.

d3n0939 · Answer

If she said she likes me, I would say I don't like her that way. If I felt as she likes me and hides it, I would tell her we are only friends

LimitedBenefits101 · Answer

Do people really have hard time saying " I'M NOT INTERESTED IN YOU"?

Zolly99999 · Answer

I tell her politely that she is not my type..

Lincoln33 · Answer

The best way for me to do that is to tell her directly, I know it will hurt her feelings but Is better to say the truth than to beat about the bush

Fireguy17 · Answer

I simply let them know that I am not interested in them. Simple and to the point.

neoagent1 · Answer

Try to find something nice to say about her. But say facts of why you don't want to be with her. Try to keep opinions out of the 2nd part.

Jenny-Marie · Answer

I wish I knew. :( The boot has always been on the other foot.

Snakeyes7 · Answer

I haven't had the chance to reject a girl in like 5 years. I am usually very polite about it from what I remember.

eagle1951 · Answer

i'm straight forward, i just say not interested

pizzalovershouse · Answer

By saying I'm dating a girl that we really like each other or the I only date older females

Luopio27 · Answer

When I am completely unintrsted, they will move on and never look back.

Light909090 · Answer

Back in HS every now and again a Black Girl would approach me and Tell me she likes me and that she wants to be with me I simply told her the Truth I don’t like black girls

TrillXHippy · Answer

I’m not someone that you would want to be with

Guardian45 · Answer

If I reject a woman that I don’t want to be with, she will know it.

Blackcupcake · Answer

I’ll accept it and move on

Guys, how do you reject a woman you don’t want to be with? Ladies, if he clearly doesn’t want you, how do you take rejection?

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Guys, how do you take rejection from a girl you really want?

Guys, how do you reject a woman you don’t want to be with? Ladies, if he clearly doesn’t want you, how do you take rejection?

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Guys, how do you take rejection from a girl you really want?

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