Men - When you meet a woman online, and she insists on texting rather than talking, does that kill the whole thing for you?

[msc545]

I ask because that just happened to me. I fucking HATE texting as it is awkward, slow, and annoying as hell.

[Smoothing]

It usually does. However sometimes it is better to just wait until you meet up for the first then you can ask if 6ou could talk on the phone again. But I would say that should be based on a case by case basis.

If she still continues to insist on texting after you have met, that is a big red flag.🚩 she could be dealing with multiple men.

A woman that likes you and is looking to move forward with you, will never make things hard for you. If she is, something is wrong somewhere.

In fact even meeting a woman off line is somewhat similar. If she likes you, she will make it as easy for you as possible. If she doesn't like you, she will make it very difficult for you.

[OlderAndWiser]

That's not a problem for my generation as almost all of us prefer actually talking rather than texting.

[msc545]

I far prefer talking as well, but many women simply will not do that.

[OlderAndWiser]

I wonder if there's a correlation between the amount of communications conducted by texting and the longevity of LTRs. It's easy to imagine that couples that rely on texting never develop a relationship communication pattern that's conducive to resolving conflicts.

[msc545]

I suspect you are right. That would actually make a great research study topic!

[OlderAndWiser]

It would be difficult to quantify the percent of total communication time spent in texting. Far more interesting to take couples who are text-dependent and force half of them to stop texting altogether! Not really feasible, but. . .

[msc545]

Borderline ethical but we could probably get people to volunteer for it...

[OlderAndWiser]

Thanks for MHO!

[coachTanthony]

If there is no compromise move on. Nobody should dictate only one form of communication. It's not healthy for either one of you.

[Death_To_Stress]

First, it's another layer of filtering. Low-value men often learn to talk a good game using tone, timing, pace, etc. because the unspoken parts on their own are far less appealing. Texting prevents most of that and women know it. So do men that can't spell for shit or put an effective sentence together if you paid them to.

Second, texting let's women maintain control over their time. You, and all the other men buzzing around her profile, have to earn the commitment of her time a conversation requires. She'd be glued to the phone 24/7 talking to every dude that wanted to otherwise.

You passed the profile pic filter, the bio filter, and the opening line filter. Most men won't. The thing you want, the opportunity to win her over verbally, will be yours. Just gotta make it past one more filter. Good luck.

[msc545]

I am done with it. Waste of my time.

[Paul09]

I don't I rather text. Gives me time to think and give a proper answer. Rather than saying something stupid and not being able to take it back lol. On the phone there also can be some awkward silence. And then there's the , how do I end the call part.

[D-Pad_Chad]

Brother that's called cat fishing. If there's no voice/video I don't bother. It's a waste of time and energy.

Bonus advice:
"Follow me on ig/snap" in the profile= I'm not here to date, I'm here to network and gain simp follows.

[NathanDavis]

that's one of the main reasons I never do online dating... I don't want to date a screen version of people

[exitseven]

It would really annoy me. Texting was n't even a thing when I was dating but I am sure if it was I would hate it.

[Fireguy17]

No, if she is busy and doesn't have time to call texting is fine, but talking on the phone for me is better.

[spartan55]

I just move on. That's ridiculous, so what happens when it is time to meet in person? 🙄

[TroyDT]

I do not mind texting, but if it about dating I would want to Facetime, Skype, Zoom, something where I can see and hear her.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Nope. Calls are for important matters to me. Texting is for fun for me.

[Anonymous]

Well it is a red flag. The fact that they want to hide ups the catfish quotient.

[Jamie05rhs]

Nope; not at all! I love texting! I've loved it ever since it first came out in the early 2000s!

[spartan55]

@Jamie05rhs
I don't know if I buy that...🙄

[Jamie05rhs]

@spartan55 No, I'm actually serious, man! I enjoy texting!

[spartan55]

@Jamie05rhs
Really... okay briefly sell me on texting please...

[Jamie05rhs]

@spartan55 You can send someone a message anytime and they can receive it passively without it bothering what they're currently doing. (They can choose to look at it later if they're busy.)
You can do it while watching a TV show or a football game.
You can do it while at a loud concert.
You can do it while other people in the house are asleep.
You don't have to worry about not being able to understand the other person (due to static or an accent or whatever.)
You can re-check previous messages; like, "what time did she want me to meet?" or "what were all of the items that I was supposed to purchase?"

Those are just a start. Those are some of the main benefits.

Oh, and also, you don't have to be engaged continuously. You can have intermittent messages (as opposed to having to respond to someone right away when they say something to you verbally.)

[spartan55]

@Jamie05rhs
All good points. It sounds like you use texting mostly like it was originally intended: to communicate in bite size, practical bits of information. It seems few use texting this way, as this forum illustrates ad infinitum.

[Jamie05rhs]

@spartan55 Well, I think it's totally okay to have a conversation via text. But you shouldn't write a whole letter in a text message. If you know what I mean.

[Jamie05rhs]

Also, never, EVER, argue over text.

[spartan55]

There is certain subject matter that should never be communicated by text. Also, some people are not good writers resulting in many potential misinterpretations.

[Jamie05rhs]

@spartan55 I agree. Which subject matters would you put on your list?

[Jamie05rhs]

(And yes; that, too.)

[spartan55]

Any sort of relationship issues, feelings (good or bad), any conversation that needs eye contact, physical presence etc.

[Jamie05rhs]

@spartan55 What if they're not in a relationship yet? Can they still discuss how they feel about one another over text?