What's something that would ruin a first date for you?

Question

Cynicaldreamer · Accepted Answer

Oh, so many things- where to start. Some one would assume are common sense or courtesy but then some people lack both-

Asking or expecting sex on the first date. This is especially true if one person buys the other dinner and expects sex in reciprocation (quid pro quo)
Constantly talking about your exes. It's fine if the other person asks, "So why didn't things work out in your past relationship?" I mean that question is going to come up at some point, and yes, they're entitled to know. But bashing or going on a long tangent on the first date about your exes? NO
Not showing common manners (ie: opening the door, saying please and thank you, etc). This might just be a Southern thing, but good manners is a must for me.
Not being able to hold a conversation or worse-
They only talk about themselves, yet barely ask about you
Distracted by your phone. If he's texting or scrolling on his phone nonstop? That's a major turnoff. Out of courtesy, when I'm talking to someone: dates, family, coworkers, I give them my full attention. And if I have to use my phone for something, I typically tell them why and then go back to giving them my attention.
They still have feelings for their ex, or are dating you out of revenge (you're the rebound basically)

I'm sure there's more but those are the first ones that come to my mind.

Kaytiee · Accepted Answer

There are many, but I'll give a realistic one that could happen I guess

If they get overly political, to the point they have flags all over their house, watch every debate, etc, and another one is if they're hellbent on body count and say to me 'I'm so glad you aren't like other women, every girl your age nowadays high bodycount'.

I do NOT like backhanded compliments, or generalisations, just because I am a relationship girl meaning I have a low body count, doesn't mean I'll accept you bashing women for choosing a more casual lifestyle, it illustrates to me that you seem to generalise often, get too hung up on people that you'd never date, and see women as objects.

Telekinetic-Potato · Accepted Answer

Overly liberal or conservative. I'm glad you have opinions about stuff, I just don't have much of an ability to relate to people who think one party is better than another. It's frustrating to hear about.

If she has an overly inflated ego. I actually don't mind if you're stupid. I know how that sounds, but I just mean that I value a person's character and I see most other things as superficial. Which means if you lie to me about those other things, I'm going to wonder why you felt the need to and I'll judge you way harder for that then if you didn't know who a certain person was or if you're not so great at something.

Mind games. If your mind game is not meant to sexually frustrate me it's probably fair game but if I feel like the reason we didn't have sex that night was because you wanted to feel powerful or something, I will not be texting or calling you any time soon and you can forget about me taking you seriously.

If she wants to take things slow, that's fine. Don't spend a whole night /week flirting with me just to pull some bullshit on me at the last second. I can usually tell the difference. These bitches with the thin bangs ain't slick 😂

That's pretty much it I think, don't make politics your life, try not to lie to me and don't disrespect me.

magiusX26 · Accepted Answer

rudeness
controlling personality
being abusive
over inflated expectations (expecting to know everything about each other by the end of the date)
getting drunk or otherwise inebreated
bringing children with you
bringing up wanting children or marriage
politics or religion beyond a base superficial level (example of supetficial being something like with R v W "so on R v W i have opinions on this" or "did you hear the news that [political/religious thing] happened?". example of what not to do is go into a heated discussion on your opinion/s. save such discussions for a later time in a possible relationship)
bringing up personal wealth beyond the basics of whether a job is there / able to support one's self.

a lot of other topics best kept at basic levels. everyone starts at basic when it comes to dating. think of it like school, you dont start as a graduate. instead you had to go to kindergarden and progress as you learned. you are each learning about each other so must progress to new levels as you learn.

BeenThereLovedIt · Answer

Met a girl while out with friends, clicked, asked her out for the next night.

Arrived to pick her up, her dad answers the door and is rude, apparently because her parents are stuck babysitting her newborn baby while she's going out. The baby was interracial, her father a racist, so he's hurling words and insults at her and the baby that I've never spoken in my life. I was shocked and mortified at the whole scene.

I followed through with the date as best I could, but it became clear early on that she was just using me for a ride to get her to/from her favorite club. I left her there and never spoke with her again.

AviatorTom · Answer

After my divorce, I had a first and only date with a woman I met online. She showed up 30 minutes late at the restaurant we agreed to meet at, was obese (not like her picture at all) wearing a hot pink jumpsuit that barely covered herself, and the first words out of her mouth were "These shorts are rubbing my pussy." I stayed for dinner (I was hungry), left without saying goodbye, and never saw her again. Interestingly, the next day, she texted me and said she enjoyed our date and wanted to see me again.

NathanDavis · Answer

not counting the obvious reasons for people being shitty... maybe if she were one of those start to eat and then they do take a big gulp from their glass while they're not done swallowing their food...

the moment I see floaters on her drink... I will jump straight through the window, lmao... I just can't get myself to deal with that

xJeremyx · Answer

1. Poor attitude/rudeness towards me, or to the staff around. I will NOT tolerate that behaviour.

2. Displays an attitude of entitlement.

3. Does not show interest at all.

4. Expects me to pay, especially if she is the one asking me out (Dont get me wrong, i always offer to pay as well)

5. Does not have her own logical opinion and train of thought. I like to discuss and talk about things, and it is a red flag if she keeps agreeing without pointing out potential shortcomings in my opinions.

6. Expects a place way above my/her budget!!

7. Constantly makes it about her (in an arrogant way, that is. I know some people just like to talk and be friendly, and thats ok. Just be humble about it).

8. Smoking/drug usage as well as alcohol dependence.

Thats about it for now.

William7489 · Answer

There’s a few things. The date being disinterested and staring at her phone or texting a lot. Too much talk about ex-boyfriend or guy friends. Being rude or unappreciative of the efforts you may have made for the date. I’ve never left a date, but I have cut it short and taking the girls home early. I believe both people should respect the date, and if one person is just out for a free meal or some thing else then you don’t need to be there.

ArrowheadSW · Answer

A big turnoff for me is if she is rude to people in public, such as store employees or waitstaff in restaurants. One lady who I met up with for coffee had a fit over coffee grounds in her cafe latte. Of course there should not have been coffee grounds in it and they really should replace it, but the way she went about complaining was inappropriate and undiplomatic.

Dazed0N0Confused · Answer

1. Using derogatory words to describe POC, LGBTQIA , handicapped people, etc.
2. Talking about their ex
3. Saying they think Hitler had the right idea
4. Agreeing with the proud boys & Neo-Nazi groups

There are so many more, I'd be here all day listing them, but they're all to this degree.

ThoseCognacEyes · Answer

- If she treated the waiter/waitress disrespectfully
- If she’s on her phone often
- If she’s documenting her whereabouts, what she’s eating, taking those stupid boomerang videos for Instagram, ughhhh you might as well just shoot me in the head
- If she makes a lot of assumptions

Sirenboobzilla · Answer

Being glued to his phone

Doing all the talking and none of the listening

Preaching about politics

Preaching about religion

Talking to me as if I'd be stupid for not choosing him

Implying entitlement to my overall being

Bad manners

Bad hygiene

Gent207-2 · Answer

Pot shots as jokes

Lack of manners

Disrespectful to customer service employees (I'd seriously tell anyone to fuck off with that behavior).

Entitlement

Lack of commonality

Lack of interest in me or the conversation

Lack of depth

Anonymous · Answer

Where to start lol

conceited, always on her phone, feminist to the extreme, don’t need a man attitude, “strong, independent” type, high maintenance, a ditz, smoker, alcoholic, feels entitled just cause she’s a female, can’t cook, rude, cusses, me mr me attitude, triggered easy, poor hygiene, late, “ghetto”, multiple babies’ daddies, mental issues, financially unstable meaning in debt, extreme religion, wants equality but only when it’s beneficial to her, can’t hold a conversation, etc.

Sour-rose · Answer

they think this is 50 shades of grey and tells me to take my panties off at the table. :)... Bud have we not even talked about how I don't do sex?

Rockstarrrrr · Answer

Being too superficial like it's a business interview.. and also acting like we're already an established couple and in love on the first date... Trying too hard to impress... And also not trying at all... Talking and focusing too much about herself.. and also the opposite... I think it's all about balance...

Still-alive · Answer

"Cats? ewww i hate cats" *turns car around. kicks her out of car. speeds off* :P

D-Pad_Chad · Answer

Me walking out of a date:
-feminist
-phone usage (she wouldn't even notice 🤣)
-disrespecting the server
-hates (insert political group)
-anti-gamer (yes I've met them)
-activism

Me ghosting post date:
-let me get your (insert social media site)
-into reality tv
-hates comedy
-opposes traditionalism

Twalli · Answer

I remember seeing a show where this guy was on a first date with a while girl and told her he liked Asians and Latinas. He thought the date went great. She felt differently and they never saw each other again. So if a girl expresses preferences for non whites, tall guys, or guys that are really buff I would probably seek to end the date as soon as possible. I am white, short, and slim.

Harbringer26 · Answer

That they would want to talk about politics. I'm a politician myself but that's why I have clear boundaries on when it should and shouldn't be brought up. And I certainly don't want to talk about it on a date. If she wants to ask about the work aspect of my political profession that's different though.

weysally · Answer

him being late, I hate anyone that can't keep time

Avicenna · Answer

Complaints about exes or negativity in general

OddBeMe · Answer

A girl said she wasn't interested in a second date so I crawled out on a ledge and said I’d jump of we didn't have a second date.

Anyway it was on the second date I learned she liked country music and dumped her like a Kardashian. Probably should have drove her home first….

Amy10223 · Answer

Me, spilling food on myself or looking a mess. LOL You can't me me anywhere fancy.

SnowedIn · Answer

Talking about politics. Just not on the first date.

lightbulb27 · Answer

emotionally imbalanced, drugs, cursing, poor conversation, bad energy.

Be3Bee · Answer

Smoking cigarettes, being rude to people around us, constantly looking into phone.

exitseven · Answer

If she screwed with her cellphone the whole time.

Th3ft · Answer

Her being different then the girl I knew before the date.

annabananna · Answer

Telling me I need to do more squats so I get a bigger booty or making comments like that about my body.

Shamalien · Answer

Ciggies. Flirting with other dudes, glued to phone, slutty dresswear, rude to server, smelly, overly masculine, there’s a long ass list

DrillBeats · Answer

Talking with you mouth full of food, talking about exes, talking about what “you are not going to do”, bad breath, and there’s probably some more I can think of

Fireguy17 · Answer

She checks her phone every 30 seconds, posts endless selfies...

humanearth · Answer

If she scratched her balls and adjusted herself. That her is not a her

Heolurt · Answer

I'm not even sure, I thought I had an answer for this but honestly I've never been on a date and I think Id probably let almost everything slide.

art84 · Answer

Smoking Being on her phone for the entire date

Mark987 · Answer

Over confidence, arrogance, someone who thinks they're better... by status

Shy_Steve · Answer

Probably if She tried pulling me out of my comfort zone because I'm sort of Shy.

TrillXHippy · Answer

If she pretends to be interested when she’s really not

despiteful · Answer

The food didn’t taste good or the movie was not good

krin_m · Answer

Whining and complaining about your ex or your life in general.

Anonymous · Answer

Them being on the phone when with me or if they smell bad , unkept nails, talking about their ex

Anonymous · Answer

Excessive talking on the phone and ignoring me.

worldscolide · Answer

Mentioning she is a feminist, or smoking.. Both are hard pass.

AsaKyo · Answer

If he compares me to Asian women

20yearsolder · Answer

If I found out she had a penis

misfittoy · Answer

someone with their face in their phone

Blackcupcake · Answer

poor hygiene

watercolor_lions · Answer

My date being rude to the server

Jennz6 · Answer

If he was smoking 🚬 eww

Havthrills · Answer

She chokes on small bones.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Finding out that she is an angry person

Sixgunsound · Answer

Smoking

HaveNoName · Answer

Trump supporter or a staunch Republican.

TroyDT · Answer

She brings her boyfriend.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Her flirting with the waiter. Haha

loveslongnails · Answer

Bad hygiene or finding out she's a trumper.

jasco · Answer

Asking for extremely expensive stuff

Staximus · Answer

Girl being rude to the waitress/waiter.

Sparkie460 · Answer

If I saw needle tracks on her or she smells

Zolly99999 · Answer

If she swore like a sailer.

BettyBogas · Answer

not enough barbaque

Arunhello1986 · Answer

I don’t have option in my city

What's something that would ruin a first date for you?

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You have less than a minute to ruin a first date. What is it that you would say to ruin it?

What's something that would ruin a first date for you?

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You have less than a minute to ruin a first date. What is it that you would say to ruin it?

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