How do I deal with the guy I'm been seeing being on holiday with his ex?

[Anonymous]

I've been seeing this guy for about 3 months and his ex broke up with him at the start of the year. He has just gone on holiday to Cyprus with his family and low and behold, I've just seen on instagram his ex is also very conveniently in Cyprus as well. I try not to be a jealous person but I'm feeling really hurt tbh that a few days ago he was telling me how much he loves me to now potentially being on vacation with his ex. Am I overreacting? Or how do I approach this with him?

[Part2603]

So she's just in the same town, and you automatically assume that they're meeting up.

I get that you're upset, and perhaps he is a bullshitter. But can we take a moment to consider this rationally?

Is there any actual evidence that she's actually in Cyprus? Girls do "perform" for the social media right? What if this is just a mind game on her part to make you jealous? What if she wants to sabotage your relationship. She makes it harder for him and you, and he thinks to himself, "Shit my girlfriend is already mad at me for nothing, and I do have latent crazy passion for my ex, maybe I was just deluding myself that I want to move on?"

It's one thing to respond to actual problems created by you or him. It's another thing entirely to let outside drama affect you.

And I'm not saying it's one way or the other. He could be a player who juggles girls around, and he could be fucking here every night while he's in Cyprus. I don't know him, and I don't know you.

But I thought from your reaction that she posted a selfie with him or something. And then I reread the post and they're just in the same town.

Bruh, maybe they have family there. All my exes live in the same metro area as me. Should my girlfriend just assume something untoward can happen at any moment? I do technically live in a vacation destination...

[Asker]

We’re from the UK so it’s not exactly like them being in London the same time. His family own a holiday house in a very non touristy area of Cyprus. So the chances of them happening to be in Cyprus in the same area on the same day seems slightly slim in my opinion. But who knows, maybe you’re right. I’ve not said anything to him yet and I’m just going to see how the next few days go before or if I decide to do anything.

[Finchie40]

You have every right to be upset and hurt by this so your best bet is to dump his ass , Think how he would feel if you went on holiday and he found out your ex is there as well? Whether you are exclusive with this guy or not , right there just shows he only cares about himself and not considering your feelings , it’s disrespectful and you deserve someone that respects you. Kick his ass to the curb , there are better people out there

[Anonymous]

You can not imagine how much I can feel you right now. I live the same situation. I am dating a guy the last month, he told me that he will visit Paris and I found out that the girl that he claims that is his ex is in Paris too. I am trying to not overreact because there is a possibility of having planed the trip before he met me and before they broke up. But I still feel like shit. On the one one hand it seems impossible to me that he is still with her because I have met many of their common friends but on the other hand a trip together? Really? Now.. Back to you. Maybe it is a coincidence that they are at the some place at the same time. Do you now if they have remained friends and keep on having contact? If yes then it is pretty possible to be together. Do you talk on the phone that period? On way or another calm down. I believe that if this happens you will understand it when you will meet him again. You should have a conversation and share with him your concerns. Don't tell that you saw that his ex was there if you are not following each other on social media just have a conversation about not dating others and being over from the past. You will understand a lot from his reaction.

[Sorrento-Sun]

It's understandable. Can't imagine anyone feeling OK about that.

Is she there with friends? or was the holiday booked by him and his ex when they were together?

[Asker]

I don’t know if she’s there with friends tbf, but the area she’s in is not very touristy and is where his family holiday house is which is why I’m suspicious. And no, I asked who was going before he went and he said just his parents and his brother. I’ve not said anything to him yet but I’m not very hopeful about the outcome tbh.

[ProVox]

All I can tell you is that they're having sex the entire time they're gone. It's up to you how you approach that.
I'd go on a date with someone and see how he reacts. That opens the door for the approach.

[FilmGuy93]

I don't think you're overreacting, but I also don't think that the trip automatically means that they're doing inappropriate stuff together. He's also there with his family, so it's not like this was probably a romantic trip.

[slatyb]

You aren't overreacting. He's lying to you about being single. How should you approach this? By dumping him.

[KelleyNice]

Don't let it bother you. They are not doing anything they haven't already done.

[Truthatanycost]

By not dealing with it at all and having some self respect...

[BlueScorpio]

That's no coincidence, he's not over his ex. Just drop him.

[242plusInfinity]

Stop giving her that type of advice. You dont know. I repeat, you dont know enough about any of these people to say what u said. Better advice would be, hey you should look into that to make sure there is nothing going on there.

[BlueScorpio]

@242plusInfinity are you serious? So if your girlfriend goes on vacation with her ex, you're gonna be okay with that.

[242plusInfinity]

Actually yes I would and that's because we don't wing our relationship like most people. I do think you are giving her advice based on an under developed opinion. It's not that I think you are right or wrong, it's that you have an under developed opinion on the situation. However, I should just mind my own business.

[BlueScorpio]

@242plusInfinity I know your bs-ing on that one. Lol but nobits not far fetched for someone to feel uncomfortable that someone your seeing is still going around their ex, especially on vacation. Like read between the lines man, it's not rocket science.

[bobby_bush_eater]

Unless you live off the coast of Syria or turkey that is very suspect and there's no need to even question them on it

[In_Trance]

Simple

[Asker]

haha solid advice which I'll probs take

[Anonymous]

He deserves to be dumped for pulling a stunt like that.

[Asker]

Honestly, my thoughts. We're not 'officially exclusive' ig but we have both said we were only seeing each other and he has seriously talked about me meeting his family, getting a flat together, etc... I'm not going to confront him about it til he gets back but just feeling really down about it. Thanks for your input tho.

[Danny_dan92]

By moving onto another guy

[noohair]

Well, at least you found out sooner than later.

[MementoMori_]

Break up

[Anonymous]

you have every right to be upset