I’m dating a 40 year old guy but I feel like we’re not connecting, he’s really physically attracted to me and takes me to nice places. Am I arm candy?

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Are you saying that there’s a lack of chemistry between the two of you? Are you having trouble relating to each other? I think the age gap might have something to do with it but at the same time a lot of people who are closer in age can also find themself in this same exact situation.

Maybe you can start a new hobby together, find a new activity that the both of you can enjoy, make new memories together, share some stories of your childhood and see how different it is from his but at the same time I’m sure you’ll find a lot of similarities. Good luck!

[Amy10223]

What is it that you are not connecting with? Is it that you don't see him as interesting, or or is that you dont have anything in common? It is possoble he is seeing you as "eye candy" and wants to show you off. The thing is how does he really feel about you--and how do you feel about him. Ask him.

[Asker]

We just don’t talk much on our dates. Or get physical either. I guess I don't know why he keeps pursuing me.
I like him and feel emotionally attracted but I’m not sure the longevity of this.

[Amy10223]

If you dont talk much, why is that? I mean, how do you find out things about him, and he about you, etc? Maybe he get snervous being around you--or something is holding him back from being more communicative/open. If you like him a lot, then tell him you'd like him to be more open and talkative, and see how that works out.

[Avicenna]

Maybe, but what attracted the two of you to each ither in the first place? There must have been something.

When we date younger women, we usually want a relationship.

[Asker]

Yeah I think he likes me for my looks and I like him becuase he’s successful and confident.

[Avicenna]

Well, that's pretty normal. Do you like to do the same things for fun or have some things in common?

[Asker]

Yeah we like to cuddle and stuff.

[Avicenna]

OK, well, what do you want from the relationship that you aren't getting now?

[Iron_Man]

It depends what you have in common and your interest