Why have I never been approached first or asked out?

[Anonymous]

Not looking for sympathy, pity or rude responses, I genuinely want to know what I'm doing wrong here.

I've never had a boyfriend or done anything remotely romantic with anyone before. It used to be by choice; I just hadn't met anyone I wanted to with. Now that I'm 20, I'd like to get into a relationship, or even just start with a few dates.

I'm not horrible looking, I've been told I'm pretty and funny etc., I'm not bitchy or rude, I've got a pretty good sense of humour, I can take a joke, confident and comfortable with myself/personality/life, definitely not basic lol,... just overall a pretty chill girl.

Why is it that I've never been asked out, or even just approached first by guys? I'm pretty friendly and outgoing, so I don't think it could be because I give off miserable bitch vibes (have asked my friends that too haha, and they all said I don't). Maybe they just see me as 'one of the guys'? I don't know anymore

I've just noticed that when it comes to talking to guys, I ALWAYS have to start a convo or make the first move, and want to know why that could be.

Is there something I'm doing wrong?

[peterrezeeek]

We all need Israel to enter into a relationship.. I advise you to stay away from citizenship, it is definitely harmful to you... I also never had a relationship before, just some girlfriends who confessed my love to them and we broke up without dating or even a single kiss. I don't know the feeling of kissing yet or even sex.. I'm excited to see your picture and get to know you sweetheart. Write your account, instagram, or any other way to communicate better. I am twenty years old🌹
my instagram
peter_m_rezk

[slatyb]

It may not be something you are doing wrong. It could be that you are doing nothing at all. What are you doing with your life? What are you doing to signal that you are single and interested? Do you have any male friends or relatives, perhaps older, that you could trust to give you an honest answer?

[Guy13]

Over 18 ⁉️. Then where’s the Pic. I don’t have a fortune 🔮 ball. Really though 🤷🏻‍♂️

UNDER 18 then no pic and go to bed ‼️‼️

[Summeroflove]

I don’t know. People probably just mind their business if they don’t know you.


If you like someone. Then you gotta make the move. Otherwise you’ll probably see him with someone else.


Unfortunately a lot of times for women. The kind of men who ask them out. Aren’t the kind of men they would want asking them out.

[FilmGuy93]

Honestly, a lot of it is because the vast majority of men either refuse to approach anymore, or they simply have no interest in dating.

You could be the most sought after fish in the pond, but the reality is that you won’t get caught if there aren’t any fishermen casting their lines.

[BJP21]

Sometimes the girl has to do the footwork, and there is nothing wrong with doing that. I pray the day a girl does this with me. Im in your shoes and encountering the same thing even if I approach as a guy. It might be the way you carry yourself and it can put off guys.

[boggboss]

What are u doing to help with u dating or are u actually just waiting for a guy to ask u out

[Asker]

i'm not spending all my time on it, but if i see a cute guy wherever i am, i'll go up to him, compliment him, and ask for his socials...
so i'm trying to be a bit proactive, but not all the time

[HiddenKryptonite]

Has any "ugly" or "unattractive" guys tried to ask you out? Or are you just sad about cute guys not asking you out?

*Not trying to be mean here*

It may be just because your picky, which is good in the long run.

[Asker]

@HiddenKryptonite none (ugly or hot) has ever tried to legitimately ask me out... i'm not counting guys i talk to at clubs, because they only want to hook up, and that's not something I want

[HiddenKryptonite]

@Asker Have you tried online dating? They usually have filters for only Long Term Relationships.

[Part2603]

Not counting guys at clubs? OMG shut the fuck up. You get plenty of attention you just think you deserve attention from higher quality men.

[Jamie05rhs]

I think we found our answer, ladies and gentlemen. She's spending her time at clubs. That's why dudes aren't asking her out. She's giving off ho vibes.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Its possible you're not doing anything wrong, are attractive, and the guys simply don't initiate.

[Asker]

why don't they even just start a conversation though? without any romantic intent? i'm really not that unapproachable

[TheSpaceGnome]

Because approaching strangers is just weird and most people don't do that.

It really has nothing to do with you being "approachable". Thats not really something that a guy can perceive just by looking at you.

We have no way to know who is or isn't approachable, and any guy who does approach a woman, knows he is pretty much gambling in regards to the outcome.

[genericname85]

Could be resting bitch face. It's a thing, not an insult. Or you just don't go out by yourself a lot.

[Asker]

that's true, but i've asked others that too and most say it isn't that... i also do go out a lot more by myself now, and nothing's really changed :(

[genericname85]

Well start flirting then. People are much more likely to approach if you're flirting.

[jshm2]

You're probably not as good looking or approachable as you like to think.

[KrakenAttackin]

Guys have been told we are toxic, violent, intrusive, etc.. a lot of guys have just had it with approaching women.

[YakubDavid]

Well I'd have to see you and know you personally to know what's up tbh.

[harrison102]

Go on dating apps or join a walking/ running club where you meet people you can get to know.

[Asker]

tried both, and still didn't really work :((

[harrison102]

I don’t know what to think 🤔 you need to get out more

[Jamie05rhs]

We can't give you an opinion without seeing your picture.

[Surely]

Your past of not being interested in dating is possibly haunting you now.

[Anonymous]

Most of the guys love hit or slutty girls. They'll approach them first. It's good of you to approach them, if you're not in the categories

[Anonymous]

You're emotionally unavailable.

[Headstrongcrazylover]

Can we talk about this in detail?

[Anonymous]

It really becomes a problem starting at 25